Trouble Getting A Date

[Shane597]

I am kind of in the slumps. Not to sound like a victim,I will get through this eventually, but I have got a lot of yeses but no actual dates off tender and Zoosk, they all flak, so far. For Zoosk the girls are usually too far away and for tender some are just playing me for atention, understably. I have been trying cold aproch( not a lot though) , but it drains my energy levels and I end up not having very much motivation to do anything else. Idk, and it seems so silly to play the game sometimes, so i lack motivation because everyone takes first impressions so seriously. I just want to let go and be myself, but I have so much trouble, it is not even funny sometimes. Sometimes, I am completely free, other times I just can't be that fun playful calm collected guy. It is just so fucking hard! I like online dating because it breaks the ice and I can attract women, but in groups or when other people are around I get mental blocks for some reason. And yes, I have been trying to destroy my ego and improve myself, and work on my life purpose, but still, I have this bullshit in my head and I don't know how to get it out, espically when girls reinforce my lower self and tell me a lie. Deep down I almost believe the lie (that I have no game). But I know all this low consciousness bullshit is just womens' way of seeing if you know who you are, and well, I guess there are times when I do and times that I am not quite sure. Just a little lost, not majorly.

Edited June 22, 2017 by Shane597

[S33K3R]

What if instead of doing online dating you find friends online? Then date the one that you become drawn to. 

 

I feel sorry for people who are younger and grew up with this online dating. Because it has taken the humanity out of relationships. People are now objects big boobs, has money, smart, fun, etc. The mind wants to categorize the world naturally. Now that is what dating and love is to many. Categories. Find friends forget about dating. Then choose slowly with intuition. 

As for being comfortable in your own skin. Just stop caring how others might view you. You are psyching yourself out by obsessing about what others might think. Don't let your mind even go there and you will be doing something called not giving a fuck.

I hope you find what you are looking for. 

Edited June 22, 2017 by S33K3R

[Shane597]

Ya, I don't even have many friends my age, I am closer friends with people that are in their late twenties and early thirties. I am kind of in a vulnerable position, to be authentic. What websites are available out there to make friends?@S33K3R

Edited June 23, 2017 by Shane597

[Shane597]

My goal is to be able to stop my mind from going to the places that are wasteful to my life, my mind still goes there even if I consciously know it is stupid and pointless. I meditate, but my minds on crack. 

[SFRL]

@Shane597 that's so cute that you can still be in the slumps over having a little bit of a hard time finding a date. 

I wish I could still be bothered by issues of that size. 

Life is tough, that's just childs play. 

 

I think the online dating thing may be hard for you because of your young age. The majority of the people on there are late twenties and early thirties. Also you are not using the best quality sites. Its worth it paying for a subscription on Match.com.

 

Edited June 23, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]

On ‎6‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 11:51 PM, Shane597 said:

Ya, I don't even have friends my age, i am friends with people that are in their late twenties and early thirties. I am kind of in a vulnerable position, to be authentic. What websites are avilable out there to make friends?@S33K3R

Also this tells me you are probably not very well adapt at socially interacting with people your own age. You may want to up your social skills in general by joining some hobby or sports with people your own age group.

[Shane597]

@SFRL  Well, it is not cute to me that I am having trouble geting a date. I see it as a concern and a frustration, surly it would not seem cute if you were in my shoes. Imagine, not being able to talk to people your age very well, and being kind of ridiculed for it. Clearly, there are things that are more important to worry about, but it is not like I can skip to being a pick up king. In fact, I don't care about pick up very much, as long as have a quality women in my life, I won't want anyone else.

Edited June 23, 2017 by Shane597

[Shane597]

Honestly, after raising my awareness further, I have realized I am pretty hard on myself about game. I have plenty of small success, it is just I am busy and they too are busy with work and such because they proitize that. I realized that I do talk well most types of people, I just think when the person is very immature or completely different or closed minded I have a hard time talking to them well, if you think about it, who wouldn't, unless they themselves had just as low of awareness. So, I am not going to believe that lie that I am not good at game, I am decent, the girls just have to be mature and be a certain type of girl. I actually think this is acturrate, after contemplation. @SFRL

Edited June 26, 2017 by Shane597

[Spiral]

1 hour ago, Shane597 said:

I realized that I do talk well most types of people, I just think when the person is very immature or completely different or closed minded I have a hard time talking to them well, if you think about it, who wouldn't, unless they themselves had just as low of awareness. 

That is very true and really irritating, that's probably the biggest issue with personal-development I have found so far. Luckily sometimes you find someone who are not like that and you'll "click" almost immediately, but it's sad how rarely that happens.

[Shane597]

Is there any one near Salem,Oregon on this forum? That is where I will be living for my next couple of years. 

Edited July 15, 2017 by Shane597