Tantilizingly Out Of Reach.!!

[Will]

Most days , I wake up pretty happy to have just opened my eyes, things go left or things go right,, not problems, it is what it is,,

Except this morning..

I see something that I like, something my ego wants, some inner desire..

completely egoic right..

I love that thing , Its creative beautiful subtle, lush...

Im smitten..

So what did I do??

I got rid of it and tried to block it out of my day..

WTF

Im thinking, why couldn't I have just appreciated it and not made it some big drama about whether I could have it or not, and then the whole denial thing..

 

Have you had days like this?? What did you do??

Do I try and see the big picture, pull myself back into line?  admit I don't and cant have as My ego wishes??

 

Confused..

[S33K3R]

I have up days and down. I don't fight my ego, I play with it. I  used to fight it when I was learning about meditation in the beginning. The fight with the ego is natural, especially when it is something you fear may take control..... Yet again. This duality will one day fade and you will see your ego for what it is. The brain trying to control our being with knee jerk impulses. Once you have control you can again allow it freedom and actually get to know it as you get to know yourself. Remember this, ego resides in the brain. You are within the heart. You are the one who watches the ego in meditation. You are connected to spirit. Ego is the animal mind who worries always and predicts terrible things to avoid danger.

 

This is my reality anyways

[Will]

2 minutes ago, S33K3R said:

I play with it

?? curious.. say for instance you drive past the beach and the waves are perfect glass and your on your way to work... How would you play with that..

4 minutes ago, S33K3R said:

The fight with the ego is natural

whats fihting the ego?? surely its the ego fighting the ego?? Please explain??

 

5 minutes ago, S33K3R said:

You are the one who watches

I get this,,, but surely participation is also important.. how do you draw the line from appreciation to participation..??

 

sometimes I feel just being thankfull with the ways things are as being a cop out and not having any responsibility for doing something else..

what I mean, is that in a perfect situation I would be appreciative of every situation and just let it be.. But then id never do anything about it..

 

Thanks for the feedback..

[Nahm]

@Will it's probably not that simple. What was the thing you desired? (If you don't mind me asking)

[Will]

@Nahm Id say that's arbitrary.. why do you want to know??

[S33K3R]

15 minutes ago, Will said:

?? curious.. say for instance you drive past the beach and the waves are perfect glass and your on your way to work... How would you play with that.. 

I would fall in love with that beauty. I do every day. When ever I have a chance to loose myself in the beauty of the world I do, because when I look back to my childhood I remember those moments when I lost myself in admiration of the world around me. 

15 minutes ago, Will said:

whats fihting the ego?? surely its the ego fighting the ego?? Please explain??

Surely it is, that is why worrying about the ego except enjoying its antics is putting yourself back into the realm of the ego. It is the same as trying to defeat the government by going to court haha 

15 minutes ago, Will said:

I get this,,, but surely participation is also important.. how do you draw the line from appreciation to participation..??

You are participating as a watcher, you learn to watch and separate yourself from the trivial thoughts of the ego. 

15 minutes ago, Will said:

sometimes I feel just being thankfull with the ways things are as being a cop out and not having any responsibility for doing something else..

what I mean, is that in a perfect situation I would be appreciative of every situation and just let it be.. But then id never do anything about it..

Our minds are always seeking, truth, hypocrisy, an enemy. Seeking always. Observing is very important, there are many people out there with opinions and nobody to listen. I dont know what you should do with this other than to see that it is there and very true. Ego finds many creative ways to remain in the drivers seat. Thats why it has become a game to me I guess?

 

 

[Will]

@Nahm Id be interested in your perspective.. are you able to share the nuances?? Or do you really need to know specifics??

 

[Will]

@S33K3R hmm.. there must be a way of flowing with,,,  being a part of it.. We don't need to be in this body to simply observe..

That kind of suggests we should just walk around life passively..

I would have thought giving and contributing and creating where important too?

[Nahm]

@Will Maybe I misinterpreted...? My perspective is that what you typed is relative to something specific and it triggered a bigger picture emotion.  I don't get the sense you meant it in the general way you stated it. I could be wrong.           In not asking what it is, however, I can't think of something you could want but not have. This world has a hell of a variety to offer. If you're asking how I go about appreciating vs getting in the loop of wanting someone thing that I can't have, I have a very simple approach. I actually believe I can have, experience or be anything I want, just not immediately, and not without the right state of mind to plan and pursue in happiness. 

[Will]

I see many beautiful things around me.. I'm looking at the tree right now.. thinking wow.its amazing..

I could just sit and observe..

or

I could care and nuture for that tree, do a painting of the tree, express my feelings in music. celebrate the way that tree provides me oxygen and I provide it CO2..

 

 

[S33K3R]

@Will Very true, like many things in life learning to observe is a stage, or a muscle you are learning to flex. Once you know your ego it no longer becomes much of a battle. It is called coherence. Your ego and your self work in unison toward a similar goal. The ego slowly stops pulling toward toxic and unhealthy habits and you become more confident in your ability to work with your ego. Once you have this down do what you will. Spending your whole life trying to fight something isn't fun and its not what life is meant for. Like all parts of life there are stages and like a river you get to a point where you just lay back and watch life take you away. This all happened for me when I adopted the fuck it mentality. I am a very nice person but I could care less about a lot of meaningless things my ego came up with. That is really when coherence between the two really spiked in my life. 

 

Remember nothing is definite, everything changes. Just like a flowing river. Forever changing.

[Will]

2 minutes ago, Nahm said:

I can't think of something you could want but not have

Yeah true I spose. We cant truly have anything..  Im not sure in myself what that feeling was actually.. I think some more about how it felt..

4 minutes ago, Nahm said:

getting in the loop of wanting someone thing that I can't have

I think your onto something here but I cant put my finger on it yet..

5 minutes ago, Nahm said:

I actually believe

YUk. That word is sooooo. I dunno. unsure.. Believe.. To me it screams I don't know.. Id rather not consciously use such a word..

anywho, I get we can manifest but it requires state of mind and our physical manifestation has some momentum to it so, i don't expect things to change instantly...

But you have to admit, wanting to change things or move them in a different direction stinks of ego right?? Im questing around this point a bit, Hopefully  there is something I can learn..

Thanks for your input..

 

 

[Will]

@S33K3R I appreciate your points here and essentially agree.. However I am trying to zone in on something, not quite sure what yet..

Thanks again.

Very appreciative of your input..

[S33K3R]

@Will  I do hope you find what you are looking for  

One thing I just thought of though? Is it perhaps the seeking you want but can never have? I studied Osho and I remember him mentioning this in his book of secrets. 

A seeking mind will go on seeking is what he said. 

I do hope you find it either way Mr Will.

[Nahm]

@Will Everything is belief, individual or collective. Everything "physical" is actually belief. ALL of it. Everything.   To believe is the most subtle and powerful force in existence. I hope your connotation of the word belief grows exponentially. You're still young, that's your fault. 

[Will]

@S33K3R Thankyou..

Flow would be a nice state to be in to..

conscious, flowing to wherever , flowing around where ever my hearts desires..

sounds nice huh??

[Will]

@Nahm In my paradigm, everything is "issness", I don't know what belief is.. for me It seems to be a construct that forms on top of "issness"

For belief you need memory and logic... belief seems to be something you think should or could happen.. I would have thought youd need to be in the past , future and pretend to have some knowledge in order to even maintain a belief..

I find your view interesting though.. probably not the direction I was hoping to take this discussion though.

Thanks for sharing..

 

[Will]

14 minutes ago, Nahm said:

I hope your connotation of the word belief grows exponentially

I have no hope for you to be anything different than what you are...

keep up the good work and thanks for the balance and different perspective..

[SOUL]

Attempting to force something out of our mind rarely works so instead let it be there and observe the ego presenting all the impulsive triggers to your awareness so you will learn it's methods of manipulation. Another way you can try to manage it is to envision yourself as already possessing this desired thing because the mind is susceptible to suggestion and it doesn't always have the ability to distinguish the difference between imagination and reality. Often the chase is more of a trigger than having it to the egoic mind.

[S33K3R]

12 minutes ago, SOUL said:

 Often the chase is more of a trigger than having it to the egoic mind.

I love this because I practice a meditation that says the ego cannot exist in the now. It can only be in the past or future. If you wish to be free of the ego remain in the present. I am lost in my ego pretty regularly, but I play a game to see how fast I can WHIP myself to the present. Sometimes it feels like a roller-coaster if I go fast enough LoL