Story Of Three Awakenings

[Markus]

The poetic title is telling you this one is a must-read!

May 25th, June 10th, June 19th. 2017. If you think these weren't awakenings you can call them whateverdafucks. I'll spare you and me the details and communicate what I actually find interesting.

All three follow the same basic plot. I'm asleep, having a really fucked up nightmare. It deals with me losing my mind & going insane. The world becomes so unbearable and incomprehensible that I just surrender to it. Fuck this shit - if you're gonna destroy me - do it! I wake up all freaked out. Then, as the strong emotions die down, I notice something's different. There's no fixation anywhere in my body - I'm not sure where the fuck I went. Life plays like a movie. I take action along with the whole universe. Thoughts pretty much don't arise - they're pointless. The afterglow in the following day is having a relaxed body, a relatively quiet mind, and a focus on sensory experience rather than thought. Simple actions are just taken, not thought about. The ego arises and spins some bullshit, but then I remember - why the fuck would I care what it says. I'm more honest, because who am I protecting exactly when I lie?

This doesn't seem to me to be just some Kundadlini shit, rather genuine awakenings or at least glimpses. Rali told me that based on my description. The ego took a blow each time. I had these awakenings while practicing immersing myself in my sensory experience whenever I remember, without a really strict formal meditation. I'd do the same thing sitting formally for perhaps an hour, and maybe walk for 30 minutes. Some days less, rarely more. I've been seeking for two years, starting shortly after Leo's first enlightenment video. I've done probably about 400 hours of self-inquiry and 400 hours of meditation in that time, sometimes having a daily formal practice of 3-4 hours and sometimes nothing. Pretty pathetic that I still haven't been able to install a daily constant meditation habit after all this time. But hey, at least these awakenings. Sensory immersion in daily life is a concept strongly emphasized by Rali from Naked Reality, and it's probably helped me the most. You can meditate on the cushion but if you take nothing back to daily life, good luck getting anywhere.

Takeaways.
1) Bringing mindfulness into everything you do is really, really important. It'll make your progress much better.

2) Dreams can be a great catalyst for awakening - they can create scenarios so much more terrible than life (hopefully) will, putting you in a position where surrender is the only option left. Isn't it awesome when you can bring what you've learned in meditation into something as unconscious and dumb as a non-lucid dream? 

3) Enlightenment and transformation really are distinct. When Peter Ralston says something, you better listen. The awakenings haven't made me a better socializer, they haven't made me drop any of my bad habits, they haven't made me more productive. They've made me give less of a fuck - which can actually be counterproductive at first. I reach for a sip of lemonade without guilt because guilt is fucking stupid. Yet it gives me terrible gas - the lemonade, not the guilt. It's practically stupid yet there's no egoic motivation to stop me. Enlightenment builds a powerful FOUNDATION for transformation, which I recommend you use if you want transformation. But transformation is hard work. Enlightenment is easy - it just happens, given the right conditions, creating which is perhaps not so easy.

4) Don't stress over the importance of awakenings. Just keep doing your consciousness work.

Bonus question to you out there: Do any of you think, like I do, that reading informative text written in simple sentences is more enjoyable than reading eloquently phrased, complex sentences?

This is Markus and I'm signing off, click the like button, post me your comments down below, and come check out the Actualized.org for....wait WHAT?