Flashes Of "unrealness"

[Pallero]

Lately I've been having these flashes of "unrealness". I don't know what else to call them. Please tell me if they have a name.

They come almost every day, they last for a second or two and then they disappear.

One usually comes when I'm in the middle of an argument or otherwise talking (either that or I'm just more inclined to notice them in those moments). What happens is I suddenly feel "unreal". It's like I take a mental step back and see myself from the "outside", mentally. The argument that I'm making at the time stops making sense and I suddenly feel very calm, even cheerful. I feel like just stopping talking, but then the moment is gone, so I don't have the time to actually stop. Also, it's like I become aware of "the role I play" in the moment. Like, aww, here I am, being the jealous girlfriend, look at me, so cute.  I look at myself as if I was a child, harmless, cute and basically a little miracle.

I had an experience of "the observer perspective" almost two years ago. I spent several hours in this very interesting state where I felt like my body and my mind were not me but that I was just living inside them (for the time being). I observed my thoughts appearing and disappearing as though they were a river and I was on the shore.

I've been trying to recreate that experience ever since (because it was mind blowing) but I haven't been successful. These flashes of unrealness, however, remind me of that state that I was in. Only they're very short and I don't have time to savor them.

I really really hope this means that I'm on the brink of some amazing breakthrough!

Thoughts?

[Nahm]

@Pallero Usually takes a lot of meditation to have this breakthrough. I think this will help you get it back and stay there... You are not the thinker of your thoughts. The 'thoughts' are the underlying intelligence/ fabric of consciousness. You are a point of observance in the consciousness, 'receiving' or expressing the whole. Sounds like you noticed this. To solidify your reference - hold a thought on something terrible for two minutes, notice how similar thoughts come after. Now hold a beautiful, hopeful thought, notice how similar thoughts follow. Excercise this and eventually you'll transcend thinking and be the whole fabric. 

[cetus]

@Pallero I'll get right to the point here. Your experiencing these ' flashes of unrealness' from the perspective of the ego. Your ego is having flashes of what it refers to as 'unrealness'.  Right?  But in truth you are experiencing flashes of realness and that is exposing the unrealness of the ego. See, it's a 180 degree shift in perspective of what is.

When you have those flashes, your ego defense mechanism automatically kicks back in and overrides this completely new perspective. The ego even goes so far as to label it 'unreal' when the truth is, it is the ego that is unreal.

 A few flashes of truth are better than none though. You could consider them mini -awakenings. Or flashes of the non-egoic state.

6 hours ago, Pallero said:

I really really hope this means that I'm on the brink of some amazing breakthrough

It could be. But for that to happen you must first open up completely to what is said above. Cultivate those 'flashes' of clarity so that clarity (mindfulness) is always present instead of the ego/thought mechanism. That takes work on yourself over time to remain steadfast in that non- egoic/ mindfulness state 24/7 and under all circumstances no matter how challenging to the ego. It's a constant struggle. The ego is always right there there waiting to regain a foothold again. Even for those who have had really deep awakening experiences of the non-egoic state.

It's a transformation over time from the egoic self into the non-egoic state. The egoic self took years to establish. It could take even longer to undo that falsehood. But that depends on how strong of an egoic self you've built up and the true willingness to let it go through practice.

 

[Delinkaaaa]

I know this kind of experience. I had thouse when I was finishing my first ten months of meditation habbit.

Now I meditate acordingly to chinese meducine. There are no more "angles of observation", now I experience connection with the body, which is very important. 

I have an advice for you - do your "observing angle" meditation if you find it usefull, but try to avoid disconnection with your body. That could really freak you out. It is nor good, nor healthy. 

[Pallero]

Thank you for your comments!

@Nahm I've noticed that thoughts attract similar thoughts, but how does that mean that I'm not the thinker?

@cetus56 Yes! I can see how the ego kicks in and brings me back to "the normal". I suppose calling them unreal is putting a strong label on them. I might as well call them strange or different. It's just something that usually doesn't occur. But of course, it might as well be the real thing!

I'm more motivated to self inquire now.

@Delinkaaaa I'm afraid I cannot resonate with that dis/connection to/from the body bit. To me, it feels like I'm always connected to my body and even more so when I meditate. By the way, do enlightened people feel connected to their bodies?

[cetus]

1 hour ago, Pallero said:

I might as well call them strange or different. It's just something that usually doesn't occur.

@Pallero What I have found is that if it feels strange or different or slightly uncomfortable, I'm on the right track. That's when the biggest breakthroughs usually happen. And what may feel strange and different today, will slowly become the norm over time.  Funny how it works that way.

Edit: You mention the  'observer perspective' experience you had. That's what I'm referring to. Trust that. Cultivate that.

Edited June 21, 2017 by cetus56