Grace's Whisper

[Ayla]

13 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

@Ayla May I ask why did you decide to find truth? What made you so hungry for truth? Was it a past experience? An insight? Pain/dissatisfaction?

It was not a decision per se. It was an evidence. Life has removed everything else from my experience. At times less gracefully than others. 

This is going to be a VERY personal insight.. but here I go. 

Life has removed job, parents, husband, son, income, savings, friends, hobbies, everything collapsed. You know how we tend to "put all our eggs in one basket"? That was a sort of a STOP sign, in any direction I was trying to put my foot next, there was another NO or STOP. At that point in my life ( October 2014) I had no spiritual insight at all, except some deep knowing that there's more to life than this. I also knew somehow that dEvil is only created by human mind, and had a feeling I've been here before. 

In that context, I went on my 5th floor window, decided to jump and...maybe catch the next train hehe. As my feet were dangling 20 meters above the ground and eyes were fixated at the landing place, I had seen the next 10 minutes. Me flying down, crashing body, ambulances, people's pain, crying, and then a DEEP peace. A peace so profound and so beautiful and so warm! Nothing in my life has been as peaceful. As I was looking down, a sudden realization came: that peace, was already there. There was no need to die to get it. It was just a glimpse. But that glimpse has kept me thirsty until now and helped me get through very powerful "spiritual detox". I still bask in that peace from time to time. Some tiny thing brings it about: a butterfly, a flower, a cloud, a drawing... little things like that. 

 

PEACE IS ALREADY HERE ! 

[abrakamowse]

Thanks Ayla!!! I love you, really. hehehe.... very nice of you sharing that. I had a similar experience but not with suicide, my thoughts almost drove me crazy, so the "I" didn't have a choice.

Edited July 21, 2016 by abrakamowse

[abrakamowse]

I wanted to share that @Ayla with you, I found it in a blog.

"I’m finding that the more I take in the idea of no-self, the more I’m becoming who I really am."

[Ayla]

Inner Child... 

 

[Ayla]

"I"

"WAS"

"THERE"

for 

"YOU" 

 

[Richard Alpert]

On ‎21‎.‎7‎.‎2016 at 4:20 PM, Ayla said:

It was not a decision per se. It was an evidence. Life has removed everything else from my experience. At times less gracefully than others. 

This is going to be a VERY personal insight.. but here I go. 

Life has removed job, parents, husband, son, income, savings, friends, hobbies, everything collapsed. You know how we tend to "put all our eggs in one basket"? That was a sort of a STOP sign, in any direction I was trying to put my foot next, there was another NO or STOP. At that point in my life ( October 2014) I had no spiritual insight at all, except some deep knowing that there's more to life than this. I also knew somehow that dEvil is only created by human mind, and had a feeling I've been here before. 

In that context, I went on my 5th floor window, decided to jump and...maybe catch the next train hehe. As my feet were dangling 20 meters above the ground and eyes were fixated at the landing place, I had seen the next 10 minutes. Me flying down, crashing body, ambulances, people's pain, crying, and then a DEEP peace. A peace so profound and so beautiful and so warm! Nothing in my life has been as peaceful. As I was looking down, a sudden realization came: that peace, was already there. There was no need to die to get it. It was just a glimpse. But that glimpse has kept me thirsty until now and helped me get through very powerful "spiritual detox". I still bask in that peace from time to time. Some tiny thing brings it about: a butterfly, a flower, a cloud, a drawing... little things like that. 

 

PEACE IS ALREADY HERE ! 

Damn, i have had same type of experience. about a decade ago i lost the control of my card during winter on a downhill. Pace was probably somewhere around 40 miles per hour, enough to kill.

As i lost the control of the car, time slowed down / stopped to exist, even though i was pretty sure me and my friend is going to die or suffer badly, this was one of the most peacufull moments of my life. I think the car span 360 degrees once or twice plus 180. This moment was a pure flow of life.

[Ayla]

1 minute ago, Richard Alpert said:

This moment was a pure flow of life.

THIS MOMENT ALWAYS IS !  

Find out if there's anything else than THIS moment 

[Richard Alpert]

Just now, Ayla said:

THIS MOMENT ALWAYS IS !  

Find out if there's anything else than THIS moment 

of course i know this as intellectual level, and get to sometimes experience it on meditation, on shrooms and sometimes sober. but on the daily grind my mind gets distracted a lot of times

[Ayla]

30 minutes ago, Richard Alpert said:

of course i know this as intellectual level, and get to sometimes experience it on meditation, on shrooms and sometimes sober. but on the daily grind my mind gets distracted a lot of times

Mind tries to distract itself, because if it would not, it would see things as they are, right THERE AND NOW. 

So mind is really just trying to protect you from something that you perceive as bad/wrong etc. 

Solution: thank Mind. (have you noticed in meditation how Mind tends to push against itself everytime you it itself comes up with an opposition?)

When you catch a thought, thank it. It will leave quicker and leave less marks on consciousness. 

The only apparatus that is equipped to SEE is body senses, without the labeling machine that is the mind 

[Ayla]

 

[Ayla]

I was working with something today... and I had such a powerful experience in feeling through it! I was so happy about the perceived pain! Because I knew from experience that on the other side of pain, there's always always a gift. In fact, Pain IS a Gift ! It is the greatest of gifts. 

*********************

PAIN : pnai/pina/pani/etc... when emotional charge associated with the label/word is seen through... there is no pain whatsoever. there's just what it is. 

*********************

I'll try to share the gift I received today. Look right behind the words and you'll be able to see what I mean. 

Take a 24 hours day:

• waking up (being born)
• having a very brief moment of no mind (immense benefits in observing this moment - try to let yourself feel the moving of first appearance of mind into play)
• eating (nourishment)
• working (expansion) 
• elimination (clearing out what is not serving) 
• night (drawing conclusions from lessons of day)
• sleep (death)
• dreams (return to divine)

Now expand this to whole life, then to whole history, then to all persons ever... How can it not be seen that there is nothing "out there" and nothing outside of "now"? 

Also: If you look into it, is there really any time that you can reach to, when you were not ? Is there anywhere you can go? Is there anyone that is not you? 

 

[Ayla]

When sense of self disappears, body will react exactly as if in front of hungry lion. It has dreamed for so long that it was in control, that it literally feels like it is going to die. Shake itself to the death of the illusion. 

It feels like "I am" all aspects of worlds, forever before and further. Every person I see is the "me construct" in disguise. 

This allowance of what is feels like the label love and or compassion. It's melting everything. 

Disintegrating. A feeling of free falling. 

 

[Ayla]

Just a little update: fear seems to want to happen, but something diffuses it. A sort of a love soup or disenchantment with it. It arises...it is recognized, it is melting into peace.

Love is another label - just mind wanting to make things sweet and comfy but what is called love

it simply is not there.

there is no nothingness in the sense that brain wants to perceive it either

****************************************************

What is there?

there doesnt seem to make much sense as in There and not here

I do not now how to describe it except there are thoughts trying to figure it out and feelings feeling it

but none of those ARE IT

they're just about it

and all there is, is ABOUT it

that ABOUT can be described as harmony and love

but not IT

it's not important anyway to find any words... just, wanted to share

certain experiences tend to bring to light one aspect of IT, while others tend to bring another one.

 

[Ayla]

Experiencing the Crumbling of the Pyramid

there's no work to be done

There's nothing that can do the work and nothing that can solve anything that is only an imaginary problem. There's no ME and a DOING and a SOMETHING (to be done). There's no figuring out to do, cause there's no X to figure out something that could ever be outside of X

something deep is crumbling - there is nobody to figure out anything at all - there is also no healing and no work and no nothing at all that is in any need of being defined or of being anything that is perceived because it is already the perceiving of itself

it is like a pyramid of thoughts - overlaying other thoughts - that point to yet more thoughts

"Eye see" is a THOUGHT ! 

"Brain" is a THOUGHT 

"Time" is a thought

"3D" is a THOUGHT

"YOU" need to be a "PERSON" to perceive that there are other persons and that they are outside OF WHAT? 

How is it that a thought can be convincing or not convincing? what would convince? Another thought? and about what? Another collection of thoughts? 

Whoa! 

[Key Elements]

On 18/08/2016 at 11:40 PM, Ayla said:

Experiencing the Crumbling of the Pyramid

there's no work to be done

There's nothing that can do the work and nothing that can solve anything that is only an imaginary problem. There's no ME and a DOING and a SOMETHING (to be done). There's no figuring out to do, cause there's no X to figure out something that could ever be outside of X

something deep is crumbling - there is nobody to figure out anything at all - there is also no healing and no work and no nothing at all that is in any need of being defined or of being anything that is perceived because it is already the perceiving of itself

it is like a pyramid of thoughts - overlaying other thoughts - that point to yet more thoughts

"Eye see" is a THOUGHT ! 

"Brain" is a THOUGHT 

"Time" is a thought

"3D" is a THOUGHT

"YOU" need to be a "PERSON" to perceive that there are other persons and that they are outside OF WHAT? 

How is it that a thought can be convincing or not convincing? what would convince? Another thought? and about what? Another collection of thoughts? 

Whoa! 

@Ayla

Yes, I couldn't agree more that there is no "you." However, every morning when we wake up into this "earth" awareness,  we have a chance to express ourselves and send a message to the world in our own ways. I'm glad I'm a painter. (I'm also a teacher.) I'm not going to leave my canvas board empty before I leave and go to the next realm.  I encourage everyone to paint a beautiful picture before they go and send a beautiful message of peace before they go.

[abrakamowse]

Love you Ayla!!!

 

Thanks! I will be posting something soon about some synchronicities that happened!

:-)

[DizIzMikey]

@Ayla Thank you Ayla, you were... I am grateful for everything you've done, I love you.

 

IN A FRIENDSHIP WAY just in case my wife comes onto here and sees this.

 

Thank you so much

[Key Elements]

@Ayla

I want to thank you a lot for sharing your story.  You are very bold in doing so. I really hope that more people will understand your story fully because it's very profound, esp parapsychology stories in the coral stages!  I love profound stories because it makes me learn the easy way and to watch my steps in life with peace. Remember Ayla, I'm sure you know very well already, we ARE only the peace and nothing more.

[Key Elements]

@Ayla

I know you have a degree in psychology and had enlightenment experiences. So, I'm just going to say this.  I know you felt that peace aka 'divine love' going back into your body. If you see something other than everythingness / nothingness, that's a coral stage experience according to parapsychology. I know that perhaps someone like Leo is looking for a Riding the Ox Backwards type of experience (Shinzen Young talked about it.) where you are going back into your body facing backwards from the nothingness / everythingness. You get to see the coral stages of that experience too.  You also feel that peaceful 'divine love' when you awake.

All this is lovely and awesome! We get to learn a lot from this. We see clearly what is the fictional ego. However, we have to take it as a lesson and be detached from it. I know we can't keep on obsessing over this. This phase will pass and will always be remembered. What's the real lesson here? To align our life purpose with peace. Mission: to make a ripple effect toward world peace with our gifts/talents. Can you think of a better mission we can all have in common? We are all from the same consciousness after all. Beyond the coral stage is the nothingness / everythingness, no paradoxes, just 'divine love,' just no-self. We can't put a box around it like coral stage. We are all one. 

Btw..Shinzen Young just told the story in a metaphoric way. Maybe perhaps the story may sound too 'wooo' to most if he didn't? 

https://youtu.be/x8aN9O73lgg

https://youtu.be/0PQonSiGkVE

https://youtu.be/Ozca_5ifwQ0

Edited August 21, 2016 by Key Elements

[Ayla]

@Key Elements  

i do know what I am. Thank you for the message.