Grace's Whisper

[Ayla]

Beloved Father who dwells within the Soul of my Being
Who's name is I AM
Veneration to Your Holy Name
Thy kingdom is here
Thy will prevails throughout the Earth 
As it does in the Heavenly realms of my Soul
You open your hands and satisfy the hunger of all living beings
You heal all hearts of sorrow
So that they in turn may show forgiveness to those who's minds 
are shrouded in the ignorance of the Self !

Beloved Mother who imparts to all the sense of choice so we may finally come to chose You - the Truth, thus find everlasting freedom 
Glory to Your Name of Truth,
for yours is the Kingdom of Existence, peace, love, 
all power emanates from you alone who imparts to all the
wisdom, the life, love and courage to reverse themselves to the I AM!

Amen
Om

**************************************************************

When pain comes.. you can feel it coming from afar. You can taste it in your mouth and your insides are stifled by its devastating power. 

It comes and it tortures your body, your memories, your mind and your emotions. It rips through you. 

Been there before.

Body is shaking, mind is going nuts trying to find an escape, a solution, a doing.. Tears seem to never end flowing from the eyes. 

Feels like a screwdriver going deeper and slower inside the guts by the second. The whole body convulses with the force of the NOT WANTING to be there and to live that pain. 

Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax. Go on breathing in and out. 

Lord!! 

There's such a battle going on here... still the "ground" on which it's developing is still. It has the perfume of a single field flower. So delicate. 

Waves and waves of gathered pain are coming up and out. 

Paying for all those moments when I refused to live through this. It has to get out of there somehow.

Being doesn't hurt. It's the accumulation of the past hurt that is now getting purified. Feels like death. Something is being terminated. 

This is one of those illusions that can put you either right back to sleep, or can grab you by the neck and lift you. 

Lord!! 

This has no reality to it. This is just like ripping off a band-aid from an already infected wound so that it can clean itself and heal. 

Grace is slowly, playfully whispering to me: "let go" .. "let go". Feels like every cell of my body is exploding as I slowly breathe through tears and through pain that seems like it will never end. 

What a concoction of mess! A real joke! I'm just the only one not laughing. 

Stillness is still there embracing all of it, being it, allowing it and breathing through it.

So many places in body are on high alert, like waking up with a vengeance. There's tingling, cold, sharp pain, diffuse pain...shudder.. 

Breathe 

Just breathe Breathe Breathe 

 

[Ayla]

The Invitation 
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know 
if you will risk 
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are 
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you 
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know 
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone 
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

[Ludwig]

Beautiful, this brings so much joy to my heart. Please keep it up.

It reminded me of http://www.bentinhomassaro.com/read/infinite-expansion-endless-love

 

Much love 

[Ayla]

@Ludwig , 

Those kind of emotions come more and more rarely to me... So I'm glad I was able to "document" them "live" lol. 

There's such a difference between "asleep pain" and "awake pain" .. 

Even though pain still feels like pain, there's no more hopelessness and helplessness and sadness associated with it.

Living pain like this, still feels excruciating, but the relativity of it is present at any moment. 

Thank God!  

[abrakamowse]

@Ayla  !!! Thank you!!! You are awesome!!!

Edited February 17, 2016 by abrakamowse

[abrakamowse]

I explain you what happened later.

[abrakamowse]

Ok Ayla, I want to tell you how you helped me. I was always a big admirer of Christ, and still am. I began to meditate as a teen, but then I stopped.
And I always had conflicts about the view of Christianity by the church and my views. 

So, one day I considered that I could be wrong and I began to go to church, I began to believe everything they believe and I become a "Christian" so committed that I almost get divorced. I was on my way to convert me into  a Bible thumper Lol.

Then I left the church and I am coming back in circle to meditation, but I am still like with doubts. So, I am becoming more confident with the experience. So, I was at work and I went to the bathroom and I took a short break to ask to God (like I used to do before when I saw God as separated of us) I asked why the Bible is so distorted in their meanings? And I felt something clearly in my guts saying "you already know why".

Anyway, because I am a bit stubborn, I asked him to show me something, to give me a hint more specific.

That was when I came to the forum and I saw the first post you published. Where everything is explained, clearly as water but we can't see a simple truth. 

 

GOD is I AM

 

Edited February 17, 2016 by abrakamowse

[Ayla]

@abrakamowse  Grace speaks in wonderful ways, doesn't it?

[abrakamowse]

@Ayla  I know! 

[Ayla]

"You say you want to be free now.
Then either swallow up everything including me
or vomit out everything including you.
Thereafter, remain as what remains."

~ Mooji 2016

[Ayla]

Unfolding into I 

Person is becoming completely undone. 

Grace is SO powerful, body and mind have a bit of trouble to keep up with expansion into being-ness 

I LOVE YOU GOD! 

Thank you! 

I love you!

***********************************************

Lord, please give me the words to express what is unfolding so that these beings see it in their current place, wherever they might think themselves to be! 

[Ayla]

 

TOO MUCH LOVE!

I love you God!

Thank you!

I love you!

[Ayla]

A Psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

There's so much LOVE here for you GOD! 

So much JOY for merging with YOU, dancing with YOU, being YOU. Such a deep disentanglement from the person-hood, from thoughts, from images, from time, from everything. 

So much space is being expanded from the lack of questioning, of asking, of praying! So much gratitude for what IS!

 

[Ayla]

Too Much Joy !!!!! 

God, let this transpire outwardly! Open us up God so that one and all see they beauty of what IS! 

 

[Ayla]

No person in this. No "I" here..there...

Imploding exploding LOVE 

 

 

God

"I" LOVE "YOU" 

THANK YOU 

thank you

thank you

thank you 

 

[Ayla]

Basking into Love for all that is, was and ever will be... Quiet shower of love... Immersing itself into itself.. 

Quiet love. Keep quiet.

 

 

 

[Ayla]

"I" 

LOVE

"YOU" 

[Ayla]

There is nothing outside of Grace. Not even feeling lost, or unloved, or insecure... 

Grace sees that with acceptance for all that is. 

Have you ever saw depression, or rage, or mind running loose on the streets? They need a person to cling to. If not, they are just concepts. 

Someone told me once, there is only two things in this: LOVE and ILLUSION... 

Illusion is still part of grace, until it gets fed up with it. What seems to be hurting, is consciousness undressing the person out of itself... 

 

 

[99th_monkey]

2 hours ago, Ayla said:

 

Illusion is still part of grace, until it gets fed up with it. What seems to be hurting, is consciousness undressing the person out of itself... 

 

 

wrote that one down... thank you

[Ayla]