I Have An Issue With Pride.

[SeekingPeace]

Before my current job I was in a depressive cycle for nearly 6 years. In that time I didn't work apart from two jobs, both of which I only stayed a day.

I've been at my current job now for nearly two years but it's a zero hours contract, aka I am employed and I'm not guaranteed any shifts, having to pick them up as and when. Needless to say it isn't a stable income at all and I've struggled finding work to replace this job.

At the beginning of each tax year(April) the funding for staffing changes depending on the volume of work that year and projected work in the coming year, so contracts are then sometimes issued. I missed out on last April's contracts because it was all done on seniority and this April I filled out the forms about 3 weeks later than everyone else because I was off ill following surgery. 

What bothers me is that I work hard. I may not love my job or even like it, but I am grateful of the opportunity to earn and I am grateful for the job helping me out of depression, so I take pride in repaying that with loyalty and hard work. A lot of people last year and this year got jobs that simply saunter throughout the shift and don't really care all that much, some of whom have only been there a year or less, and I work to the point I can barely walk afterwards. I've come in on inconvenient days where managers have text me saying they really need help and I even missed a wedding to go and work a 14 hour shift.

So now I feel almost embarrassed, hurt and I guess undervalued to put it mildly when I now have to go to work and see those same people I described above now wearing company colours. 

I know it perhaps seems petty and I don't plan on staying with the company for all that long(2-4 years probably), but even so, it sucks and it feels like all my hard work and loyalty has gone unnoticed despite the fact I extended those out of pride, not for attention.

Any suggestions on how to better accept the circumstances?

[hedge]

You know your situation the best, so I'll just throw out some questions: 

• It sounds like your manager doesn't notice you. How are the group dynamics among your coworkers? What is the "pecking order"? 
• Are you underpaid compared to others at the same level?
• You mention loyalty. In the mind(s) of management how do they view it? 

Also how easy can you get another job? I ask this because the easier you can, the more free you can be "open" with your manager. Otherwise you have to play it safe.

Though, that's my injecting my own default stance that you can't trust management. How much do you trust your manager/supervisor? If not much, maybe channel off some of your energy to focus on building trust.

Edited June 19, 2017 by hedge

[SeekingPeace]

Thank you all for your advice so far.

Just an update, I have a telephone interview that's the provisional step of a process for a job at a store in the city centre. It's part-time and not great pay, but the benefits are incredible and it'd actually work out more money over the year than my current job, so I hope I get it

 

I have also applied for a portering job at a hospital that's full-time. Not brilliant pay but it would certainly keep me fit!

Hedge - Thank you for your questions. I've just got in bed so I'll get back to those tomorrow