The Problem Of Your Own Way

[Emre]

@zazed That is a question. For example, there is this person that is trying to be exactly like someone else. What do you think will happen if you tell him 'Your thoughts are not you, accept and go on.' he will only be a copycat, a wannabe. The problem with saying 'Does it even matter?' etc. is big one I think. Because it is a very dangerous position to take. Say nothing matters and just go on living. How well do you think you could do? If nothing matters why are you even talking about conciseness etc.

@Flow With Life This is more understandable.

@aurum That is really good, thank you. But the problem is, I can count you maybe 100s of people that say, that think they are consciously doing these when in fact they ate just lying to themselves. It is very easy to tell when looked outside if someone is a wannabe or is really doing something for the sake of doing that thing. Like I know some people that say they wanted to play the guitar since they were kids. But I really know them, they wanted to do it only after couple of girls said they liked boys playing the guitar.

Even they say it is very _authentic_ to them and literally believe it, it is not and it'd be impossible for them to know because they really believe it. My point is why not the same thing would be true for us? And I think this is a paradox.

[WelcometoReality]

14 hours ago, Emre said:

How to follow your own way? How can one really follow his own way? That is a problem that's been fucking me for months.

How can one choose his own way without being influenced by others when even the options he has are influenced by other people? I mean every step you take, every word you say, every thought that comes to your mind are just consequences of what/who you have been listeneing to, following and etc. and the bigger problem is other people _tell other people_ to be themselves or even sometimes not to listen others. I mean I hope you can see the huge problem here. 

So my question is how one can really follow his own way? 

It's your choice which ones you let influence your life. Just let these decisions be conscious decisions.

There are many unconscious decisions we make based on past conditioning. These pop up as beliefs of what we should or shouldn't do and what reality should or shouldn't be. Good/bad, right/wrong you get the point. 

Not everything you do is a product of past conditioning. How much it influence your decisions depend on how awake you are.

Every decision and every reaction you make hold information to you belief structure. Become conscious of why you make these decisions and you will become free of it's shackles.

[Nahm]

@Emre You are in one big causation. Now you know though, so you can use all of it. 

[zazed]

11 hours ago, Emre said:

he will only be a copycat, a wannabe

Everyone is a copycat, everyone is a wannabe. This is because the human personality is formed through education and experience over many years.

You place importance on unimportant things. The one placing the importance is not even you.
What exactly is the problem you are trying to solve, how is this a problem for you? You are overthinking it, and overvaluing the power of thought. You can know things without thought, think of a sunset, describe a sunset, or watch a sunset.

 

11 hours ago, Emre said:

Because it is a very dangerous position to take. Say nothing matters and just go on living. How well do you think you could do? If nothing matters why are you even talking about conciseness etc.

Yes it is. It gives rise to various problems. It is not without reason many "buddha's" isolate themselves from the world.
On the other hand, I never said "nothing matters" in this extreme and absurd way.

 

What most people describe as being unauthentic is people trying to hard usually. 
Someone who is a people-pleaser, who does not really speak his mind, but he says what he thinks you want him to say.
Such a person is not living in the Now. He is living in the projected future of what he may gain by being unauthentic. Most people are unauthentic to actually be better liked. Leo has a good video on this, called "How to stop caring about what other people think".

In essence, it all boils down to non-dual enlightenment, like everything in this world  . Live in the Now, be pure consciousness in this present moment. Then there is no expectation or worry for the future opinion of others, there is only the joy of what is happening now. And thus you can act freely and be authentic as yourself. So to be authentic, you need to stop overthinking it, and just be. When everything comes natural, then you will be authentic.

[Emre]

@zazed Bless you.??

[Emerald]

@Emre A thought just came to me that I think might help you let go better. So, you have the ideas that in order to be authentic or good that you also have to be 100% original and uninfluenced by others. However, this is a common kind of misconception in modern culture. It means that even in believing this thought, you are being influenced by the ideas of others. So, the question is, are you going to just follow the crowd like that and continue believing what the others say and living by the rules and morals set by others, or are you going to truly be an individual?

Edited June 19, 2017 by Emerald