Handle Girlfriends Who Get Jealous

[electroBeam]

How do you properly tackle your girlfriend when she's jealous of a girl you're talking to?

Say you have a really good friend whose a girl, that you talk to and get along with really well. 

But your girlfriend starts to get jealous of that girl, and starts to believe a secret affair is happening.

Or how do you handle a situation where your girlfriend gets worried that you are hitting on girls at a bar or club, because she took you the wrong way one day about that event.

 

You can argue and try and convince her that her beliefs are wrong, but usually the girl doesn't buy it and just acts more suspicious and jealous.

How do you calm down that threatened ego, and make it feel safe and secure? What rhetorical techniques would you use, what actions would you take to resolve the situation nicely?

Thanks.

[Prabhaker]

17 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

How do you properly tackle your girlfriend when she's jealous of a girl you're talking to?

Every problem does not have a solution !

[Spiral]

If she wishes me not to hang out with other girls, I would have a serious conversation with her and if she continues break up.  

[electroBeam]

23 minutes ago, Pinocchio NTO-Dingu said:

Tackle? Your girlfriend?

I'm glad I'm not your girlfriend.

I'm no relationship expert by any means, but when I see some of the shit that gets posted about them around here, and the contortions people impose on themselves (and their "partners"), and the stupid manipulative games they keep playing as if that were the solution to all their troubles rather than the cause of it... then I'm quite happy to know that I'm not missing out on much.

Tackling your girlfriend is fun, especially when she gives you cheek. You should try it.

And I think handling a relationship is a valuable skill to have, even if it does involve manipulation.

56 minutes ago, Prabhaker said:

Every problem does not have a solution !

Hahahahahahahahahaha

You sound like a diehard hindu.

I get what you're saying though.

[electroBeam]

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu

I just want to point out that if you think you're liberated from manipulation, think again. The reason why you have a phone or a computer is because you manipulate the fuck out of your life. The reason why you have money is because you manipulate the fuck out of life. The reason why you are alive right now is because you manipulate the fuck out of life. The reason why you found spirituality was to manipulate your happiness levels.

Unless you decide to go out into a deserted forest, and live there without human contact, you're manipulating no less than me. And even then, killing an animal to feed yourself is still manipulation.

[electroBeam]

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu I'm just pointing out that its illogical to advise me to end my relationship and be celibate, all because im manipulating, when manipulation is unavoidable as long as we are in a society.

There's nothing problematic about relationships. Many people have successful ones that last for decades happily, and I know someone on here can advise me with great advice.

[Spiral]

Sorry if I sound condescending and privileged here but, Is not better to get to know the person better first to make sure you don't get these types of issues. If you missed something talk about and if he/she does not change, find someone else before you get too invested. Changing people rarely works.

[electroBeam]

@Spiral with the level of consciousness of the human population, I think it's wise to find ways of dealing with the current social norms, rather than try and find that perfect girl who doesn't exist. But I agree, talking about it may be the best solution.

I see really successful people, happy gurus, and a lot of them are masters or manipulation. Take a look at sadghuru, ghandi, even Einstein, they are all great manipulators, and so I can't help but think that manipulation is a good skill to have.

@Snick I agree. Spiritual answers sound cool on a hippy forum like this, but in reality they just don't cut it.

Edited June 18, 2017 by electroBeam

[SFRL]

"A spanking a day keeps the bratiness away"

I keep saying it. I feel like a shouting man in the desert. 

 

Edited June 18, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]

Anyway what do you do a female friend for? I don't have female friends anymore. There is nothing that I can do with female friends that I can do with guy friends as well. 

Turn the question around: Why does your ego need to hold on to this female friend at all cost? 

[electroBeam]

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu I see manipulation as an act of changing an environment to achieve a certain mindstate. What else can manipulation be? And I mean internal not just external. So PD is manipulation too. And some forms of spirituality is as well.

No I don't understand the problem with treating manipulation as a separate entity, apart from the problem that it doesn't mix well with your authentic desires that much.

[electroBeam]

1 minute ago, SFRL said:

Anyway what do you do a female friend for? I don't have female friends anymore. There is nothing that I can do with female friends that I can do with guy friends as well. 

Turn the question around: Why does your ego need to hold on to this female friend at all cost? 

I value freedom. Not sure if that's problematic or not....

And she's very good at the career im in. She's a very valuable asset to my career.

[Spiral]

Self-development vs spirituality ROUND TWO! No but seriously being manipulative is not the answer, you'd be happier alone then.

 

[SFRL]

2 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

I value freedom. Not sure if that's problematic or not....

And she's very good at the career im in. She's a very valuable asset to my career.

Yes I value freedom as well. 

So this friend when you are dying of old age she is going to be at your deathbed and she will be at your funeral? 

She is just fluff and decoration, it's all temporary. 

[SFRL]

2 minutes ago, Morrtiz said:

Run away as fast as you can in the opposite direction.  Try to raise your standards and take a long hard look at what it is you're putting out there that is attracting someone so insecure.

 

That's such a canned response. 

Did you come up with that all yourself? Or is it just something the other sheep before you was blerring.

Did you actually put any real thought into it? Like sit down for a couple of hours at least and really deeply think about it? 

[electroBeam]

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu so what does non manipulation look like?

 @SFRL so would you sacrifice your value of freedom for a relationship?

I remember Leo saying in his 30 red flags video that you should be exposed to more women otherwise you'll be too needy for the one you have. I think that's a good point.

Edited June 18, 2017 by electroBeam

[Spiral]

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu While I agree about the non manipulation, how would he do that practically in this case. His options are:

• Break up.
• Meet the friend anyway in secret. (exploiting her trust)
• Be honest about meeting the friend despite not having permission. (exploiting her low self worth)
• Not meeting the friend.

Edited June 18, 2017 by Spiral

[SFRL]

25 minutes ago, electroBeam said:

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu so what does non manipulation look like?

 @SFRL so would you sacrifice your value of freedom for a relationship?

I remember Leo saying in his 30 red flags video that you should be exposed to more women otherwise you'll be too needy for the one you have. I think that's a good point.

There is so much to freedom its more then two women being jealous. It's like you judge the size of a man by the size of the problems that bother him.

What are you going to do then be a puppet to the believes of your social circle and this female friend? 

If I want and I put in some serious effort then 3 weeks from now I am banging the shit out of some new girl I never met before at this moment and I am at the stage where I am exploring a possible relationship with her already. I know this. I don't have that desire but I know I can. That knowledge that I can do that is freedom. 

Freedom is also telling your social circle you know what motherfuckers I just don't really feel like hanging out that often with this particular female anymore. 

Freedom is you just do whatever the fuck you want to do. 

 

 

 

Edited June 18, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]

7 minutes ago, Spiral said:

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu While I agree about the non manipulation, how would he do that practically in this case. His options are:

• Break up.
• Meet the friend anyway in secret. (exploiting her trust)
• Be honest about meeting the friend despite not having permission. (exploiting her low self worth)
• Not meeting the friend.

These are all absolutes. He can also put the friend on the backburner. Just keep her as some vague acuintes.  Just reduce the friendship down to 25%. And keep the girlfriend happy. Then friend some new male friends. There is only so many friends you can entertain anyways. 

[electroBeam]

@Pinocchio NTO-Dingu this question was a hypothetical scenario that doesn't require advice but just an answer.