By nexusoflife
in Psychedelics,
I was first introduced to psychedelic substances while reading online back in 2014. At the time I thought that they could be a useful tool for psychological inquiry and consciousness exploration. However I did not seriously begin to research and learn about psychedelics until 2016. It was at this time that I learned of the powerful healing effects of various substances such as DMT, Psilocybin, LSD and Cannabis if used responsibly. Then recently in 2017 I finally used cannabis as my first psychedelic tool. What happened afterwards was one of the strangest experiences of my life thus far. Note I would NEVER use these substances for recreational usage. I seek to learn as much about myself and existence as I can and psychedelics are a tool to help me with this. For the past three years I have been meditating from 20 minutes to an hour each day, I’m raw vegan (I only consume fresh fruits and vegetables), I am a very intellectually minded person and I have also had a few profound unitive experiences via meditation. This was the next step in my journey of consciousness exploration.
As far as set and setting is concerned I was in a good place at the time of taking this in. Initially I was nervous however I calmed my mind via meditation and I was around individuals that I knew, although they were recreational users. The cannabis was loaded into a water bong and I took three large hits and used 1 gram of the plant for this experience. Being my first time it was very difficult not to cough too much however I did manage to compose myself. I was determined to go as deep as I possibly could and knew the importance of THC absorption in cultivating an experience. As I took the third and final hit I could feel my perception of reality become distorted. I began to feel dizzy and nauseous. Those around me began to speak about activities to do while high. In my perception their voices became slowed and their movements slowed as well. I tried to participate in the conversation but this simply was not going to happen. I felt my body movements become slower and heavier. I began to stare at the plants near us with much intensity. The same connectedness that I felt in my meditative experiences was present here in this psychedelic experience as well. Within a few minutes I was compelled towards the ground, it was as if I was being pushed and pulled towards the ground at the same time. As I went down I saw what looked like a small bright orange smiling humanoid neon outline in my vision. I knew that things were about to get strange. As I hit the ground I passed out. Those around me at the time helped me up immediately and what follows was beautiful and very strange. It only took them maybe 15 or 20 seconds for them to get me up however in my perception it lasted much longer. My eyes opened and closed. All of the environment around me was heavily distorted and all of the vegetation was brightly colored and had that bright neon outline around it. The intensity of the sunlight was at least twice as radiant to me. As I felt them lifting me I wanted to go deep in this experience I had a thousand questions in my head and wanted to stay exactly as I was. In my mind there was a menagerie of voices from every trip report that I had ever seen online or read. I was various places in my mind such as waterfalls and fields. There was a bit of fear present from the ego, due to the weirdness of all of it, however it vanished quickly. I then heard a voice subconsciously that said, “Just let go”. I subconsciously responded (I was unable to speak verbally) “I will go anywhere you take me”. And so I completely let go of all control. I felt that in order to stand up I had to forcefully will my body to do so. By the time they raised me to my feet I saw those around me as beings of light. Their bodies were a bright blue light and they were shining so brightly it was as if the sun was within each of them. They helped me inside the house I knew that I was walking and awake but everything was so blurry and I was still very dizzy. I passed out again shortly after on a mattress. This time things got weirder. As I was out I felt very nauseous. I saw many strange psychedelic images as well. I don’t know how to explain it but I will try my best. I also had audio hallucinations. I believe one of the sounds that I was hearing was a fusion of my heartbeat and breathing, however it sounded very alien and esoteric yet beautiful at the same time. There were other audio hallucinations as well. As my eyes were closed there were hundreds of shapes, colors and figures constantly shifting. My body also felt very limp and strange. There were entities talking to me although I could not understand them. Although I do know that they were loving. They were not humanoid and their “bodily” shapes were outlined with bright colors. They had no other visible parts only the outline. The audio hallucinations continued. As I “slept” I could hear music from outside but it was so much louder and vivid than it normally would have been. It was as if it was only 20 feet away from me instead of a few hundred. Although the music was a genre that I am not fond of the pure audio sounds of the music and the rhythms I heard were made so beautiful by the cannabis. The closed eye hallucinations continued. The light beings that I saw from before were here again but were present as outlines. They told me about love and showed me love. What they said and how they showed me love, I do not remember. Then they took me through many places which I don’t know how to describe. I even saw the light entity I saw back in 2012 when my mother passed away. This was by far the most beautiful part of the experience. More things occurred after this and then there was just pure blackness. After three hours I somewhat awoke. I was still not fully lucid and reality was still distorted. I stayed up for about one hour. During this hour I listened to two songs that I prepared for this day. These songs sounded more beautiful than I had ever heard them before. I took down some quick notes of the experience and then went to sleep for the night. The next morning I woke up and I was so happy. Happy to be alive, happy to exist and happy to even experience existence. For about half of the next day I felt as If I had just finished a very deep meditation session. My mind was calm and content with experience.
I know that this was far from the average experience one gets from smoking cannabis and I feel that this experience occurred the way that it did was due to a few factors. My several hundreds of hours of meditation may have had some sort of deepening effect on the way how I responded to the cannabis. Additionally I wanted a deep experience and wanted to use this as a tool for spiritual growth, mental exploration and consciousness exploration. The foods that I have been eating for the past three years may have also had an effect on it as well. Overall this was the strangest thing that I have ever experienced thus far in my 20 years of life and I really can’t accurately put into words exactly what I experienced on that day. What I can say in closing is this. We are loved. Despite all of the weird forms that I saw there was never anything to be afraid of. All of existence is ONE. I view this as a positive learning experience and hope to delve deeper into my mind and slowly deepen my understanding of consciousness with other psychedelics in the future. So to those out there with far more psychedelic experience than I do, what do you think of my first experience with cannabis? Any feedback would be appreciated. This video gives a good idea of what the various entities I saw looked like. Skip to about 4:15 in. These are the two songs that I listened to during this experience.
As far as set and setting is concerned I was in a good place at the time of taking this in. Initially I was nervous however I calmed my mind via meditation and I was around individuals that I knew, although they were recreational users. The cannabis was loaded into a water bong and I took three large hits and used 1 gram of the plant for this experience. Being my first time it was very difficult not to cough too much however I did manage to compose myself. I was determined to go as deep as I possibly could and knew the importance of THC absorption in cultivating an experience. As I took the third and final hit I could feel my perception of reality become distorted. I began to feel dizzy and nauseous. Those around me began to speak about activities to do while high. In my perception their voices became slowed and their movements slowed as well. I tried to participate in the conversation but this simply was not going to happen. I felt my body movements become slower and heavier. I began to stare at the plants near us with much intensity. The same connectedness that I felt in my meditative experiences was present here in this psychedelic experience as well. Within a few minutes I was compelled towards the ground, it was as if I was being pushed and pulled towards the ground at the same time. As I went down I saw what looked like a small bright orange smiling humanoid neon outline in my vision. I knew that things were about to get strange. As I hit the ground I passed out. Those around me at the time helped me up immediately and what follows was beautiful and very strange. It only took them maybe 15 or 20 seconds for them to get me up however in my perception it lasted much longer. My eyes opened and closed. All of the environment around me was heavily distorted and all of the vegetation was brightly colored and had that bright neon outline around it. The intensity of the sunlight was at least twice as radiant to me. As I felt them lifting me I wanted to go deep in this experience I had a thousand questions in my head and wanted to stay exactly as I was. In my mind there was a menagerie of voices from every trip report that I had ever seen online or read. I was various places in my mind such as waterfalls and fields. There was a bit of fear present from the ego, due to the weirdness of all of it, however it vanished quickly. I then heard a voice subconsciously that said, “Just let go”. I subconsciously responded (I was unable to speak verbally) “I will go anywhere you take me”. And so I completely let go of all control. I felt that in order to stand up I had to forcefully will my body to do so. By the time they raised me to my feet I saw those around me as beings of light. Their bodies were a bright blue light and they were shining so brightly it was as if the sun was within each of them. They helped me inside the house I knew that I was walking and awake but everything was so blurry and I was still very dizzy. I passed out again shortly after on a mattress. This time things got weirder. As I was out I felt very nauseous. I saw many strange psychedelic images as well. I don’t know how to explain it but I will try my best. I also had audio hallucinations. I believe one of the sounds that I was hearing was a fusion of my heartbeat and breathing, however it sounded very alien and esoteric yet beautiful at the same time. There were other audio hallucinations as well. As my eyes were closed there were hundreds of shapes, colors and figures constantly shifting. My body also felt very limp and strange. There were entities talking to me although I could not understand them. Although I do know that they were loving. They were not humanoid and their “bodily” shapes were outlined with bright colors. They had no other visible parts only the outline. The audio hallucinations continued. As I “slept” I could hear music from outside but it was so much louder and vivid than it normally would have been. It was as if it was only 20 feet away from me instead of a few hundred. Although the music was a genre that I am not fond of the pure audio sounds of the music and the rhythms I heard were made so beautiful by the cannabis. The closed eye hallucinations continued. The light beings that I saw from before were here again but were present as outlines. They told me about love and showed me love. What they said and how they showed me love, I do not remember. Then they took me through many places which I don’t know how to describe. I even saw the light entity I saw back in 2012 when my mother passed away. This was by far the most beautiful part of the experience. More things occurred after this and then there was just pure blackness. After three hours I somewhat awoke. I was still not fully lucid and reality was still distorted. I stayed up for about one hour. During this hour I listened to two songs that I prepared for this day. These songs sounded more beautiful than I had ever heard them before. I took down some quick notes of the experience and then went to sleep for the night. The next morning I woke up and I was so happy. Happy to be alive, happy to exist and happy to even experience existence. For about half of the next day I felt as If I had just finished a very deep meditation session. My mind was calm and content with experience.
I know that this was far from the average experience one gets from smoking cannabis and I feel that this experience occurred the way that it did was due to a few factors. My several hundreds of hours of meditation may have had some sort of deepening effect on the way how I responded to the cannabis. Additionally I wanted a deep experience and wanted to use this as a tool for spiritual growth, mental exploration and consciousness exploration. The foods that I have been eating for the past three years may have also had an effect on it as well. Overall this was the strangest thing that I have ever experienced thus far in my 20 years of life and I really can’t accurately put into words exactly what I experienced on that day. What I can say in closing is this. We are loved. Despite all of the weird forms that I saw there was never anything to be afraid of. All of existence is ONE. I view this as a positive learning experience and hope to delve deeper into my mind and slowly deepen my understanding of consciousness with other psychedelics in the future. So to those out there with far more psychedelic experience than I do, what do you think of my first experience with cannabis? Any feedback would be appreciated. This video gives a good idea of what the various entities I saw looked like. Skip to about 4:15 in. These are the two songs that I listened to during this experience.
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