My First Experience Of Oneness. August 1st 2016. Good Luck To All Of You On Your Journey.

[nexusoflife]

     This experience occurred after roughly 2 ½ years of meditating almost every day. I was driving home from work when it happened. All morning I was in a meditative and contemplative state of mind. I was about 3 or 4 miles from home. In my mind I was thinking of the incomprehensible number of universes and the incomprehensible number of different “me’s” in existence. I thought about what would happen if they all met. Many of them would be similar and many of them would be vastly different. Some of them would look identical and others would look vastly different. Then everything stopped. I had felt stillness before but this was infinitely deeper than anything I had felt before.

     The moment I realized that all of the different possibilities of the form which constitutes “me” could look the same and others would look completely different something profound in my mind snapped. In an instant and outside of space and time I was all life. My entire perception of reality was cleaned. I was all life on earth, in the universe and in all of existence. I did not feel connected to all life. Thomas Roger did not exist anymore. There was just awareness in a body and that’s it. There was only life and it’s happening. I watched in sheer amazement at all of the people who drove by me and each person I saw was also myself. It doesn’t even make any sense that something like this is even possible but it happened. My mind did not judge or comment on the people I saw. I was simply in utter amazement at the sheer beauty of the life that was happening. (All of this happened while I was at a red light.) When the red light turned green I had no idea how I was driving, how I was seeing or anything. I returned home in a state of utter amazement, bliss and gratitude. It felt like all existence felt this way too. I know that doesn’t make any sense but it did.

     When I entered the driveway and emerged from the car and saw the world from outside the windows I almost cried. The air was so crisp. It was an overcast day but it was so profoundly beautiful. I walked in front of my house and said this. “I had never really seen reality before. This is the first time I have truly seen life.” I began to be overwhelmed with happiness. Every tree, every person, every blade of grass, every insect all life was one. I completely disappeared and was all life. I was all life. I walked up to some flowers in front of my house and looked at a bee walking along one of them. This made me especially happy. I began to laugh. I smiled so hard. I was the bee and the bee was me. All life was one. I walked into my house and went into my brother’s room he was sleeping. When I saw him I became even happier as I was also one with him. I began to laugh even more. I realized that the same consciousness that he was experiencing was the same consciousness that I was experiencing. That I am experiencing. That we all are experiencing. All life is experiencing the same consciousness. The medium through which it is experienced may be vastly different but the consciousness, the awareness is the same.

     I needed to get something to take to my college so I picked that up and went back out to the car still in sheer amazement and happiness. As I drove the car I also realized that the same consciousness that mom experienced I too experienced at that very moment and my whole life. ( My mother passed away when I was 16 years old.) At this point my mind couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled over less than a mile from home and broke down and cried at the sheer incomprehensible, profound and breathtaking beauty of existence. After about five minutes of crying in sheer awe and gratitude I sat there for about another minute and continued my day. This lasted for about two hours then I slowly came back as a tiny individuated ego. However there was still a great residual after effect from what I just experienced. (to call this an experience is limiting, it is a state of being) This was by far the most magical day of my life as of august 1st 2016.

[Leo Gura]

Yup, that was a first awakening experience. Good work. But there's much deeper to go.

What is your sense of self now after nearly a year? Are you now identified firmly with the body again?

[nexusoflife]

@Leo Gura I have continued my daily meditation and contemplation and have had another unitive experience since then. It occurred in march 2017. This one happened after four 20 minute to 1 hour meditation sessions that day. At the end of the day I decided to listen to some calm music and ,for some reason and I can’t explain why, while I was listening to this music the sense of unity and absence of self surged to an all-time high. I had a unitive peak experience. I went from quietly listening to this music to crying uncontrollably at the sheer profundity of simply existing. It started slowly and I lost track of time but it was so profoundly beautiful. I have no words for this. Here is what I can say. We are God. All is ONE. We have forgotten our true existential nature and have become lost and confused. We are beautiful. All life on this planet and in all of existence is unified. Every subatomic particle that makes up existence is ONE. Unity is all. There is no self in the way that we think of it. There is only awareness and experience for an organism. By the time I got up roughly three hours had passed. For hours afterward I was still shaking from just how powerful, profound and beautiful it is. I now know the true weight of that statement "Oh my god".

Besides the peak experiences that I have had my sense of self has been greatly diminished compared to what it was three years ago when I started in meditation. I am not strongly identified with my life story anymore and a name is simply a social label to me. I see Thomas-Roger as a collection of thoughts, concepts and beliefs. The more I look at it this way the more I realize that the ego structure is only to be used as a tool for practical purposes. My demeanor has changed greatly in that I am a much calmer and quieter person than I was. Additionally whilst I have always had a love for nature nowadays I find myself stopping at some point every day and just being in breathtaking awe at beauty of the earth and existence in general, regardless of the weather or my circumstances. It is a very strange yet visceral and compassionate feeling to experience these changes that have occurred in my mind and life. 

Edited June 18, 2017 by nexusoflife

[Nexeternity]

Thank you for sharing.  Your words are very beautiful.