Problem Valuing Independence?

[kieranperez]

So I'm noticing very clearly now that I don't do well when I'm constantly being told what to do. To be more specific - when I'm constantly being told how to live, work, act (around others), what to do, and just working under someone in general, I always start to rebel. Part of this is because I've been moralized what feels like all my life. I've been told for countless years that I'm too dark, depressing, hyper, energetic, I don't listen to "good music", I shouldn't act this way or that way, I shouldn't compete like that, that's not how I'm supposed to cook, how I don't know any better, how I live in a bubble, how I don't have skill sets since I'm 22 and didn't go to college because a lot of struggles I was going through, how I'm crazy, not that educated, constantly ridiculed and told (mostly by my dad) all the mistakes and things I do wrong, etc.

I've just gotten to a point where I'm so sick of this bullshit. This is not how I want to live my life. When I work for someone I always have to walk on eggshells since I've only worked in customer service, e.g. retail, pizza shop, etc. and I tend to operate and thrive very differently than how I'm constantly hounded to be. I really try to work under it. I'm just not someone that just tolerates kissing ass. I speak my mind. I'm very expressive and enthusiastic. Yes, I totally understand I have a lot of behaviors that I need to correct. Which is why I'm part of this forum and am trying to get started with Personal Development w/o sabotaging myself (usually because I get so beat down on how what I want to pursue and do, such as personal development, meditation, etc. is wrong and I feel like a loser and end up doing nothing because I can't bear working for my dad in real estate and under anyone really at this point). 

Is this a problem that is just me? Or should I take this as a sign that I need to do my own thing? I'm just so confused on what to do with my life right now...

[HikiNEET]

Being a subordinate and obeying is not always bad. The rebel mindset is a biased one and will work against you.

No one has the right to judge you. You are perfect the way you were born. Comparing yourself and feeling guilty allows people to manipulate you.

 

[Visitor]

@kieranperez I would not start surrendering to the idea of doing nothing with your life.

Here are a few suggestions based on what I would do if I were in your shoes:

1. Get any job that will help me to get out of home and start living independently.
2. Stick with that job until a better one comes along. But in the meantime I will learn to accept that I am getting paid to do what I am told to do, and how the boss wants it done. Keep it simple.
3. Once I have settled into an independent lifestyle I would seriously start re-educating myself (unless you want to serve pizzas all your life).
4. Many people have lived independently, learnt to budget their money, and re-educated themselves either academically or in a trade.
5. As long as you are progressing forward, such as these suggestions, your self confidence will grow too.

[Nahm]

@kieranperez This is a blessing buddy. You re lucky to see how you see. You are not cattle. Do what you need to do so you can get to a place of working for yourself. You don't need more of people telling you what to do, unless you can enjoy it because you are solid in your mind knowing it's a means to more freedom (working for yourself). You are young, I am not. From my experience, I think the older you get the more you're going to see the blessing in your not needing / wanting authority / boss / dad. Keep in mind, your dad is doing his best. You are in a generation that knows better BECAUSE of him and his generation. You are lucky. 

Make a goal. It will keep wind in your sales through the bullshit you have to do to work your way up / get more freedom. Try to enjoy that bullshit, work on how you see it. As an example, perhaps a goal of opening a pizza shop will ease the having to work for someone else for a while to save up the seed money. Realestate is good also. Maybe get licensed and save money then go on your own. 

Fuck bosses man. 

Your life is your dream. 

 

[Wouter]

 

On 2017-6-19 at 9:56 PM, Nahm said:

As an example, perhaps a goal of opening a pizza shop will ease the having to work for someone else for a while to save up the seed money. Realestate is good also. Maybe get licensed and save money then go on your own. 

 

I don't believe in a generic way to earn money. What do YOU see as "a gap in the market"  (money->independance driven), or "the expression of your deepest values" ? (life purpose->self expression) 

[Nahm]

@Wouter I feel you but I have different wants and preferences. You're the only one experiencing what your filtering down to this "life", as am I. So, something is generic only because you say it is. Money is only "earned" if you say it is. I don't hold those perspectives. I'm not trying to rip on your preferences at all, but I think you are boxing opportunities out. In my world, I want it all. I have come to appreciate incomes that are residual and passive so I don't have to work and have time for actualization, family, music, art, hobbies, fitness, travel, etc. Furthermore, I love not having a boss at all.  What do I see as a "gap in the market"...I'm trying to get my mind there but I'm overwhelmed with how much money there is to be made helping people. I'm not "find the gaps" minded I guess. I wish I had a little more to offer on that. Godspeed my friend, I wish you the best.