Ego Backlashes

[Max_V]

I've had this happen to me a couple times now. I meditate and I feel the emptiness and I get a glimpse of what some call 'Truth'. But then after like 15 seconds I get this rush of anxiety and my mind starts trying to cover it up. 

This covering up can last days, and makes me feel miserable most of the time. It passes after some time but I would like to know if there is a way I can respond to this in a way that transmutes this anxiety and helps me. 

[Shin]

Explain more plz.

[Max_V]

@Shin When my mind suddenly goes blank and I feel this peace over me, I get hit after 15 sec from something that ranges from some anxiety to a full blown panic attack. 

During this backlash, everything that once was clear becomes very chaotic and hazy. Idk how to explain it but it feels like all the equanimity I had before the backlash just vanishes in an instant and I become one with the pain and fear.

I would like to know if there is anything I can do to learn or grow from this. Anything I can do that helps me overcome this fear and let the peace stay without interruption 

@nightrider1435 I try to face it everytime. Even if I do manage to accept it, the next time when I get insight it still happens

Edited June 12, 2017 by Max_V

[phoenix666]

Isn't that a very good sign? You apparently tapped into a hornet's nest. Now you have to face the defense mechanisms the ego is 'sending' 

[nightrider1435]

You just have to face the pain and fear. Let go of this need to remain in peace without interruption, it's not going to work like that.

[nightrider1435]

16 minutes ago, Max_V said:

@Shin

@nightrider1435 I try to face it everytime. Even if I do manage to accept it, the next time when I get insight it still happens

Yeah... Welcome to the dark side. 

[Shin]

[Natasha]

@Max_V Check this out:

 

[Max_V]

@Natasha Thank you!

[SOUL]

The mind is just doing what it does...same with the ego, so don't be 'minding' what those will be doing, they can't be anything other than what they are. The mind just covers things with concepts and labels, that's what it does and the ego will try to convince you to endorse those concepts and labels the mind conjures up since that what it does.

In those moments that the ego goes about cajoling and manipulating you in an attempt to have you believing the concepts and labels the mind builds just stay at peace.  Instead of agree with it's machinations continue to affirm the perception you have in awakening awareness, let the peace of that awakened perception be the guide for consciousness.

The mind and ego will do what they do though sometimes it may seem too unbearable to endure the constant undermining but continue to affirm the awakened perspective without trying to fight them. Fighting them isn't affirming from peace, let them dance around with their natural behaviors and peacefully observe without endorsing it the best you can.

Eventually the mind will retain the impressions given it from the awakened perception and will reflect that in it's paradigm so the ego will in turn go about getting you to endorse those concepts and labels of an awakened mind. In this way our awareness will guide the whole of our consciousness into liberation.

[Natasha]

3 hours ago, Max_V said:

@Natasha Thank you!

You're welcome. Ayla is a really good guide. 

[Bob84]

On 6/12/2017 at 7:32 PM, Max_V said:

I've had this happen to me a couple times now. I meditate and I feel the emptiness and I get a glimpse of what some call 'Truth'. But then after like 15 seconds I get this rush of anxiety and my mind starts trying to cover it up. 

This covering up can last days, and makes me feel miserable most of the time. It passes after some time but I would like to know if there is a way I can respond to this in a way that transmutes this anxiety and helps me. 

You find nothing and the lose nothing. Then you panic yourself about losing nothing. 

Doesnt make sense right ?

You want something and cant grasp it, have fear it will never stick (ego screwing you) and get anxiety. 

Makes more sense ?

Self honesty will help you 

[Erlend]

@Max_V that's what it does my man. it is the same way when people get anxiety or depression after a breakthrough psychedelic trip. your ego gets afraid of how much you let it go and goes wild in neuroticism trying to grasp back on everything it held before you broke through ++. 

This happens when getting deep meditation sessions sometimes too, just on a smaller scale.

Don't worry bout it, its good, its the path

[AleksM]

@Max_V This is a purification process, it's normal. If you want to accelerate the transmutation you must raise your frequency, there are a lot of ways. Meditate more, maintain mindfullness trough the day, eat more raw foods, exercise, stay more in nature, laugh more, put a smile on your face without a reason, gratitude for things that happen, feeling gratitude before eating, sun light, sun gazing at sun sets and in the morning when the sun rises, ...

 

 

[phoenix666]

On 09. August 2017 at 11:45 PM, AleksM said:

@Max_V This is a purification process, it's normal. If you want to accelerate the transmutation you must raise your frequency, there are a lot of ways. Meditate more, maintain mindfullness trough the day, eat more raw foods, exercise, stay more in nature, laugh more, put a smile on your face without a reason, gratitude for things that happen, feeling gratitude before eating, sun light, sun gazing at sun sets and in the morning when the sun rises, ...

 

 

shit. looks like I have to quit Metal

[Max_V]

@phoenix666 Well, I'm willing to give a lot of things up. Metal ain't one of em  

[art]

@Max_V @phoenix666 Time to quit listening to that Black Metal and aim for new genres like White Metal, Diamond Metal and Gold Metal??

[phoenix666]

@art fuck, I love my Black Metal... Be more radical than that, aim for Classical

[egoeimai]

Hello fellow metalheads!  

\m/  stay true 

[phoenix666]

4 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

Hello fellow metalheads!  

\m/  stay true 

when staying true interferes with your vibration