All Of My Dreams Are Slipping Away

[Russell]

I dreamed of becoming an army man. Then a pro baseball player. Then a this and then a that. My latest passionate dream was to become a rapper and inspire millions of people to expand their consciousness whilst taking music to a whole nother level. Drugs influenced It, and drugs have quickly taken that passion away. After suffering from numerous relapses with crack and heroin, all of my dreams are just killed. Where the drive and passion was is now gone. I am now depressed, suicidal, and bitter. I watch Alan watts, Leo, koi, everything spiritually good on YouTube to try and wake up. It's as if drugs have put me to sleep. I was once a smart, good looking, loving human being who wanted to help others. Now I have no energy. I meditate every day, exercise, and eat right but my passion is gone, and all my friends at pursuing theirs. I am 19. 

[Consept]

Sounds like youve been through a lot at 19. What i would suggest is to own what youve been through, drug issues say, and speak on that either through rap or whatever outlet, maybe even help out in a youth service or charity, but use what youve been through to provide a real dialogue with other people going through it. 

Dont worry if youre not completely where you want to be just speak from where you are and youll be surprised how many people you could touch 

[Sevi]

@Russell the dreams don't slip away, it's just we don't feel that inspirational chills all the time, or we misinterpret the occurring signs.. or we think they ever come true.. and does it really matter? Just to be capable of dreaming something which carries you all of a sudden into an ever existed place and make you feel that magical sensation even for that second, is enough to live for...

There will be ups and downs, that's normal, that's life.. but already if you are capable of posting about your dreams even if you are feeling down the cycle, that totally means that you are already doing a great job!?

[Russell]

Thanks. I just wanna have that purpose again. The more time goes by and my dreams aren't manifesting because "things happen" makes me more sad  

[Sevi]

13 minutes ago, Russell said:

Thanks. I just wanna have that purpose again. The more time goes by and my dreams aren't manifesting because "things happen" makes me more sad  

Probably it's more, you wanna purposefully, strongly grab on that purpose again, because it's already existing as your idea to offer to the world..

It's so common that we always have our own estimation of the delivery time.. but if you are sure enough what your purpose is and so resonated with it, then what's the rush? Why to rush? 'Yeah, before we die' but why not enjoying the ride? Even if you can not get into the very end, if you feel so right, so good on that track, to die on the way to it is a very calming approach to the mind, and when the mind is calm generally creates the best solutions, doesn't it?? simple weed grows up fast in a garden, but the beautiful, rare things.. oh.. don't they take some time to ripen? And isn't it worth it to give time to that?! Isn't persistence a good thing?!?

[Veggies]

11 hours ago, Russell said:

I dreamed of becoming an army man. Then a pro baseball player. Then a this and then a that. My latest passionate dream was to become a rapper and inspire millions of people to expand their consciousness whilst taking music to a whole nother level. Drugs influenced It, and drugs have quickly taken that passion away. After suffering from numerous relapses with crack and heroin, all of my dreams are just killed. Where the drive and passion was is now gone. I am now depressed, suicidal, and bitter. I watch Alan watts, Leo, koi, everything spiritually good on YouTube to try and wake up. It's as if drugs have put me to sleep. I was once a smart, good looking, loving human being who wanted to help others. Now I have no energy. I meditate every day, exercise, and eat right but my passion is gone, and all my friends at pursuing theirs. I am 19. 

Maintain your good habits and over the years, something great will happen.

 

 

I believe so.

[Russell]

11 hours ago, Sevi said:

Probably it's more, you wanna purposefully, strongly grab on that purpose again, because it's already existing as your idea to offer to the world..

It's so common that we always have our own estimation of the delivery time.. but if you are sure enough what your purpose is and so resonated with it, then what's the rush? Why to rush? 'Yeah, before we die' but why not enjoying the ride? Even if you can not get into the very end, if you feel so right, so good on that track, to die on the way to it is a very calming approach to the mind, and when the mind is calm generally creates the best solutions, doesn't it?? simple weed grows up fast in a garden, but the beautiful, rare things.. oh.. don't they take some time to ripen? And isn't it worth it to give time to that?! Isn't persistence a good thing?!?

I resonate with what ur saying about the good things taking time to ripen. I will prevail. The tao will work through me 

[Nahm]

@Russell That passion really was never yours in that way. It is the expansion of the universe happening through you. Your role is the chooser. Sounds like you have chosen to stop taking drugs and focus on your health. Your inspiration will come back. It can be no other way. Be patient with yourself. You will become what you focus on. Keep the focus. 

[HikiNEET]

Comparing yourself with others generates a lot of things: inferiority complex, guilt, neediness and more.

Don't try to be something else, feel it. It's OK to be like that. My recommendation for you is: stop looking for any advice on the internet. Do something that requires focus. Be practical.