What Girls Are Looking For. When Should I Get A Girl?

[Seed]

 

@Emerald

I agree, women understand themselves, their emotions and what they desire so much more than a man can every begin to comtemplate. It is funny to see them try though.

However, these rules will work for a pool of unconscious women, but are they really what you want? Only you can answer that.

 

 

[SFRL]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

You still didn't answer my question. You just jumped around into very illogical forms of reasoning that have very little in common. It was like you went "Kevin Bacon... Bacon Bits... Megabytes... Megaman." Therefore Kevin Bacon is Megaman!

I don't even think you came up with that joke yourself. You are trying too hard. Just dying for a change to say something smart. Find someone else to play with. 

Edited June 12, 2017 by SFRL

[Emerald]

11 minutes ago, SFRL said:

I don't even think you came up with that joke yourself. You are trying too hard. Just dying for a change to say something smart. Find someone else to play with. 

I'm not playing with you. I really am serious about what I'm saying. And if you go back and read my posts with a clear head, you'll see that I was trying to level with your perspective. But I did come up with the joke myself. 

[SFRL]

29 minutes ago, Seed said:

 

@Emerald

I agree, women understand themselves, their emotions and what they desire so much more than a man can every begin to comtemplate. It is funny to see them try though.

However, these rules will work for a pool of unconscious women, but are they really what you want? Only you can answer that.

 

 

 

[Emerald]

Just now, SFRL said:

 

Just more projection...

[SFRL]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm not playing with you. I really am serious about what I'm saying. And if you go back and read my posts with a clear head, you'll see that I was trying to level with your perspective. But I did come up with the joke myself. 

You have to talk in plain language. Otherwise I don't understand. You lost me on the second paragraph already. Its too cryptic. 

[Emerald]

30 minutes ago, Seed said:

 

@Emerald

I agree, women understand themselves, their emotions and what they desire so much more than a man can every begin to comtemplate. It is funny to see them try though.

However, these rules will work for a pool of unconscious women, but are they really what you want? Only you can answer that.

Yeah, I agree. I think human beings are all really complex, so people can look over their own needs if ideals get in the way. But, I hate to see people shoot themselves in the foot and assume that people are very simple. Relationships will be nearly impossible for a person who assumes that they know more than others about their own experience. Generally speaking, however, you don't want to mess up the "mating dance" by asking the girl you like what she's attracted to. But asking a woman (particularly an older woman who is into introspection) about the mechanics of how a woman develops an attraction to a man is probably a wiser course of action than to listen to some guy's interpretation of a woman's needs from the outside. You have to be in this, to really know what it's like. 

[Emerald]

7 minutes ago, SFRL said:

You have to talk in plain language. Otherwise I don't understand. You lost me on the second paragraph already. Its too cryptic. 

I understand. If you just didn't get it, then I understand why you responded to my posts with hostility. But my whole purpose for interacting on this forum is to try help people through their issues. It's something that I enjoy doing. So, the number one thing to do is to try to harmonize perspectives before trying to help. So, I meant no antagonism by my reply to you.

I feel like, when you read my post, you just saw my gender and assumed that I was being confrontational and antagonistic with you. But that's not true. I really was trying to help you with your dating/relationship endeavors. I do admit, however, I felt a little incredulous and amused when you told me to "stay in my own lane" because I don't really have any thing of substance to say about female emotions BECAUSE I"m female. But that just made me giggle a little at the illogical and contradictory nature of what you posted. 

But, forget about understanding what I said about dating dynamics. Those are more advanced issues for a later time. You need to first learn to be whole within yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. If you try to have a relationship with a woman at this point, you will suck each-other's souls dry.  It seems to me that you're suffering from repression of your feminine side. You will have constant issues with women until you learn to do this. You will feel like women are antagonizing you at every turn... despite the fact that, deep down, you know that this isn't true. 

Here's a video about the Anima and how men and masculine-oriented women can integrate the feminine part of themselves in an authentic way. 

[zazed]

I'm a guy, who has seen a lot of guys and girls in my 30ish years of life.
This is what i would tell my younger self, if i could go back in time  

Most Woman looking for especially a long term partner, have a man-child filter.
It basically means, you have to be a man, period. You have to be grown-up.

This means mentally, you need to be a strong and confident man. This does not imply physical strength. It also definitively does not imply any form of aggression. It implies a high level assertiveness in life. Example, how do you treat a waiter, how do you check into a hotel room, etc....  With a group of male only friends, do you let other people do the talking to strangers when stuff needs to be arranged (group vacations for example)? There is always that one guy who will do all the talking, arranges the tickets, talks to the cabbie, etc... That guy is the leader, and he has confidence, and a girl most often.
At a bar, will you signal the waiter and make sure everyone has a drink, or will you let your "leader" do it for you?
It's many small things like this that show you can handle the world. You need to be a guy that can take action when needed.
Let's be honest, if you cannot take good care of yourself, you cannot take care of her. And, how you approach her is the ultimate test of your confidence.

Don't mistake the above for being a chauvinist and like choosing what she has to drink or eat.
No, you ask her if she wants to order, then you make sure the waiter get's there asap, so she can order what she wants. Don't make her signal, don't make her ask for the check, don't make her go to the cash register. Doing it from time to time with just dudes, or solo, teaches you assertiveness in a "safe" situation.

Physical appearance can help you feel confident about yourself, so it's a good idea to lift some weights if you need a boost. It's healthy anyway, so it's always good for you to get some muscle. I've seen many less confident guys get buffed and find some self-esteem in that, whatever works for you embrace it (such is life).

 

But aside from confidence, you also need some humor. Especially if you can laugh with yourself, humor is a sign of intelligence. Humor about yourself is a sign of humility and in general, it shows you are not an arrogant guy. Arrogance and confidence are very different things.

 

TLDR If you lack confidence, the girls will think you are a kid that can't take care of himself.
Few girls want to date a man-child, which is what most man lacking confidence are, in their eyes. This is hard to read, if you are a manchild (i was, perhaps still am), but it's reality...

 

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, zazed said:

I'm a guy, who has seen a lot of guys and girls in my 30ish years of life.
This is what i would tell my younger self, if i could go back in time  

Most Woman looking for especially a long term partner, have a man-child filter.
It basically means, you have to be a man, period. You have to be grown-up.

This means mentally, you need to be a strong and confident man. This does not imply physical strength. It also definitively does not imply any form of aggression. It implies a high level assertiveness in life. Example, how do you treat a waiter, how do you check into a hotel room, etc....  With a group of male only friends, do you let other people do the talking to strangers when stuff needs to be arranged (group vacations for example)? There is always that one guy who will do all the talking, arranges the tickets, talks to the cabbie, etc... That guy is the leader, and he has confidence, and a girl most often.
At a bar, will you signal the waiter and make sure everyone has a drink, or will you let your "leader" do it for you?
It's many small things like this that show you can handle the world. You need to be a guy that can take action when needed.
Let's be honest, if you cannot take good care of yourself, you cannot take care of her. And, how you approach her is the ultimate test of your confidence.

Don't mistake the above for being a chauvinist and like choosing what she has to drink or eat.
No, you ask her if she wants to order, then you make sure the waiter get's there asap, so she can order what she wants. Don't make her signal, don't make her ask for the check, don't make her go to the cash register. Doing it from time to time with just dudes, or solo, teaches you assertiveness in a "safe" situation.

Physical appearance can help you feel confident about yourself, so it's a good idea to lift some weights if you need a boost. It's healthy anyway, so it's always good for you to get some muscle. I've seen many less confident guys get buffed and find some self-esteem in that, whatever works for you embrace it (such is life).

 

But aside from confidence, you also need some humor. Especially if you can laugh with yourself, humor is a sign of intelligence. Humor about yourself is a sign of humility and in general, it shows you are not an arrogant guy. Arrogance and confidence are very different things.

 

TLDR If you lack confidence, the girls will think you are a kid that can't take care of himself.
Few girls want to date a man-child, which is what most man lacking confidence are, in their eyes. This is hard to read, if you are a manchild (i was, perhaps still am), but it's reality...

 

I agree with this.

[Guest Annetta]

Kindness, genuineness, safety, conversation, emotional reciprocation, dirty sex, emotional sex, intuition, confidence, street smarts, book smarts, chicks like it when you treat them like an annoying/endearing little sister.

[SFRL]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

I understand. If you just didn't get it, then I understand why you responded to my posts with hostility. But my whole purpose for interacting on this forum is to try help people through their issues. It's something that I enjoy doing. So, the number one thing to do is to try to harmonize perspectives before trying to help. So, I meant no antagonism by my reply to you.

I feel like, when you read my post, you just saw my gender and assumed that I was being confrontational and antagonistic with you. But that's not true. I really was trying to help you with your dating/relationship endeavors. I do admit, however, I felt a little incredulous and amused when you told me to "stay in my own lane" because I don't really have any thing of substance to say about female emotions BECAUSE I"m female. But that just made me giggle a little at the illogical and contradictory nature of what you posted. 

But, forget about understanding what I said about dating dynamics. Those are more advanced issues for a later time. You need to first learn to be whole within yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with someone else. If you try to have a relationship with a woman at this point, you will suck each-other's souls dry.  It seems to me that you're suffering from repression of your feminine side. You will have constant issues with women until you learn to do this. You will feel like women are antagonizing you at every turn... despite the fact that, deep down, you know that this isn't true. 

Here's a video about the Anima and how men and masculine-oriented women can integrate the feminine part of themselves in an authentic way. 

You assume you are way up there, way above someone else, it rubs me the wrong way. 

You go sort that out. Then talk to me. You need a little reality check. 

[Emerald]

Just now, SFRL said:

You assume you are way up there, way above someone else, it rubs me the wrong way. 

You go sort that out. Then talk to me. You need a little reality check. 

No. That's not true. But I understand how it could be perceived that way. I just don't know any other way to be. This way of interacting has always been the way I talk to people. But if my way of being is too much for your nerves, then we don't have to continue this conversation. Have a nice day!

[SFRL]

@Jordan wang also tell them you will go down on them. That will usually get you to raid to those panties. 

[SFRL]

1 minute ago, Fidelio said:

Also tell them your name is Wang. They'll intuitively know what's up.

Yes Jordan Wang that means that your Wang will jump up trough the ceiling. 

[Shin]

16 hours ago, SFRL said:

You assume you are way up there, way above someone else, it rubs me the wrong way. 

 

If she rubs you the wrong way, it is only because you have a wounded ego.
You can't be pissed of at someone if you don't hold any inner wound, it isn't possible.
The only way you can hold a grudge at someone is because it reflects something that you don't like about yourself ...

You may think she's giving you a lesson, and maybe she is (there is no way to know), but the fact that you believe that shows that you have some conflict within yourself that you need to adress.

Why do you think she's showing off, instead of thinking she's really trying to help ?

Meditate on that ...
 

[SFRL]

So Jordan Wanky Wang. We are happy to help. But all this advice is not just giggles. We expect some results. What do you think is a fair calendar date in the future for you to raid your first panty? We will set that as a deadline. You can always ask for advice. 

[SFRL]

@Shin you have turned into a proper white knight lately. What's with that?

Also what's with hoarding likes? Commenting on answers within your own previous comments. Don't lie man I have seen you do it. Tell me how that has nothing to do with the ego. 

Edited June 13, 2017 by SFRL

[SFRL]

@Jordan wang I am just having fun though. 

You wil be fine. Just keep it moving and keep taking action. 

Its all about exposure to the situation over and over again. 

Edited June 13, 2017 by SFRL

[Shin]