Killing The Looks Belief

[Wazen]

Hi guys, 

This morning I was on the bus on the way to work, and I saw this absolutely gorgeous woman and I really wanted to talk to her. I couldn't muster up the courage to do so. But what happened next was interesting. I couldn't let go of the fact that I hadnt gone and said something, I kept staring and catching glances whenever I could because I thought this person was so attractive to me. I caught myself fantasising about how I would go talk to her if I was better looking.  and when she left, my eye almost involuntarily followed her. 

The thing I have a problem with is that my brain seems to place this heavy heavy emphasis on looks. I know inherently that i'm not bad looking or anything, however, I tend to judge people and how attractive they look is usually a dominant factor in how I interact with them. It's almost like they have an inherent value because they're pleasing to look at.  I feel like this isnt a good belief to have because if I meet people who are only attractive, then I'll be creating relationships based on shallowness and not how well i get along with them etc etc. 

How do I go about changing the belief "that looks matter"? 

[Cjaryo]

This essentially breaks down to you realizing that looks do not directly correlate with value. How you do that can be done in many ways. Examples include: A) Consider all the beautifully people you know, and then how stupid they actually are (If you have trouble here just think of a porn star, hot but dull), B) Consider the normal or ugly people you know, and then how smart they are, C) Notice and be aware that this paradigm (world view) only limits your potential. I believe that a combination of these is best for changing this belief.

Notice that I did not talk about the benefits of this paradigm, and that there are some. If you however are within the extremities, you can use these techniques or others to balance yourself.