Core Issues - Self Esteem And Making Everyone Else Happy

[spicy_pickles]

Well, it is taking going through what I am going through to realize how this is MY problem to address. 

I lack courage and self esteem to make myself happy. Before I looked at my scenario from a different perspective. I was told for many many years, that someone else's happiness and well being is my responsibility.  This has been etched into my core. This is the very first time it has specifially happened, but I always remember being a people pleaser and putting everyone else's needs before my own. 

I am in a situation where I am unhappy, and my unhappiness doesn't matter. I've already been told I can't make this other person happy. Do I have the courage to demand better?  Not yet. 

[egoeimai]

Fuck . This is bad. Who cares about others ? Omg I know this won't help. 

Maybe you expect something from others ? That's why you need to please them? I hope you find what you need.

In my case, I don't give a fuck about others, but I also feel I NEED their acceptance that's why I suffer in life. My whole life because of this. But I don't want to please them as you like to do. I want them to please me. And if they do,  I can please them later. Loooool. It sounds I'm a bad person.