My Two Remaining Hugely Irrational Fears

[krazzer]

As i'm into self-actualization for quite some time now, I have gotten rid of most fears.

I do not fear death. At all. But it bothers me I still have these 'lesser' fears.

 

1. Fear of having not enough money

This fear is absolutely ridiculous. I have recently quit my job to start my own business. I build websites and web applications. I'm into this for 6 months now, and i'm doing quite well, however, I'm in a constant fear of not having enough work in the future. 

What's even more ridiculous is the fact that if I did no work for the coming 5 years, I could still live off my savings.

But even so this fear comes back every time. I can't seem to rationalize it away.

 

2. Fear of rejection / negative feedback

I build websites for other people and companies. I'm always afraid of their reaction to my work. Also when I make a quotation for a project, I'm always fearing they find it too expensive, and I might lose the client.

Also I do cold calling to find new clients. I have done this maybe 5 times for 1 hour or so but it always scares the shit out of me. I'm no fun at all to be around with when I know I have to do cold calling the next day.

 

At the moment I'm trying to avoid these two fear by 2 methods:

The first is I try to become financially independent. I try to sell as much subscriptions to my services as possible, so I could live off passive income alone. 

The other method is that I'm trying to build businesses that generate money where I don't need to interact with people, but I would automate everything.

I don't think these are bad ideas, but they probably will take years to accomplish and I wish I could accept the situation (which by no means is bad!) as it is. Or else I will probably have other new fears when I accomplish those methods.

 

I was very hesitant to post this because I can see how irrational these fears are. But I just can't seem to shake them off.

[Salaam]

Fear is an interesting thing... I've found that it's best to treat fear like weight lifting rather then like a math problem. What I'm saying is that you don't necessarily think it away, you exercise/train with it and increase your capacity so you are more fit to handle it.

Tension, fear, and stress in each instance in which it manifests has a ceiling and once we cross that ceiling, we adapt and comfort cascades from crossing that threshold.

Cold calling used to bother me too, but after working with tension, fear, pressure, and stress as foundational qualities of life and expanding my capacities or fitness with them, cold-calling, going to meetings, getting in conflicts, rejection, none of that phases me. I still feel it, but it's like lifting a 20lb dumbbell compared to one that's 120lbs. It's a light feeling that barely even moves me (in respect to resistance or paralysis) and I can pick it up and do what I want with it, without a second thought.

I can see my fitness in all the interactions I have and the deep calmness that comes from my "strength" in these capacities. So yea, you can attempt to avoid the issue altogether as a solution, but I find it preferable to just face it and grow and reap the benefits, rather than avoid and lose access to certain spaces and conditions that are challenging and possibly out of reach.

Rationality does have a place with all this, when it comes to perspective, clarity, and the conditions we set for ourselves, but it's secondary to the physical aspect.

[Lynnel]

@krazzer  You'd have to inquire more deeply because usually the fear is not random. And actually you fear something not because of the thing in itself but because it reminds you of something you are unable to accept.

For instance people fear failure because as children they never got any support, and failure reminds them of the lack of support and the fact that they feel unlovable deep inside. This deep inside is kept inside in denial because you don't wanna work trough it.

Do some shadow work and do archeological work on your mind. That will help uncover the real reason.