My Problem With Deep Boredom, Help?

[phoenix666]

I've been meditating for two years now, (almost) on a daily basis. I already feel some progress. It was extremely difficult for me at the beginning because I am a classic 'thinker'. I was never able to shut down my thoughts and as a teenager I even thought always having a busy mind is a benefit (!). However, it's getting easier to quiet down my monkey mind for a couple of seconds these days. 

But I noticed a problem: whenever I meditate for a little longer, especially when I go over the 30-40 minutes mark, I find myself getting extremely agitated. I feel such a strong urge to DO something (studying, training, reading, responding to my messages..) and I just feel like I am wasting my time. The strongest emotion that overcomes me then is an extremely deep boredom. Sometimes meditating bores the fucking hell out of me...so strong, that I can't bear it.

Does anyone face the same problem? Where does this boredom come from? Is it my addiction to thinking?

 

Edited June 6, 2017 by phoenix666

[Prabhaker]

@phoenix666

You can respond to boredom in two ways. one is what is ordinarily done: escape from it, avoid it, don't look eye to eye into it, don't encounter it. Keep it at your back; and run away; run into things which can occupy you, which can become obsessions; which take you so far away from the realities of life that you never see boredom arising again.

The other response is to face it, to meditate on it, to be with it, to be it. That's what Buddha was doing under the Bodhi Tree - that's what all Zen people have been doing down the ages.

What exactly is meditation? Facing boredom is meditation. What does a meditator go on doing? Sitting silently, looking at his own navel, or watching his breathing, do you think he is being entertained by these things? He is utterly bored!

The whole effort in meditation is this: be bored but don't escape from it; and keep alert, because if you fall asleep you have escaped. Keep alert! Watch it, witness it. If it is there, then it is there. It has to be looked into, to the very core of it.

If you go on looking into boredom without escaping the explosion comes. One day, suddenly, looking deep into boredom, you penetrate your own nothingness. Boredom is just the cover, the container in which is contained your inner nothingness.

[Leo Gura]

This is actually a very important growth opportunity.

Boredom just means: you are being mindful of present sensations. Your focus is wandering and you're losing touch with being.

This can be fixed by:

• Realizing that even "boring" sensations are really fascinating when you focus on their being.
• Doing long sits, sitting through the boredom
• Doing a solo retreat where you meditate for 10 hours per day for a week
• Focusing your mindfulness on the boredom sensation itself
• Doing a concentration practice to hit access concentration
• Unaddicting yourself from the number addictions you still have in your life

Doing a long retreat would be great for you.

[phoenix666]

@Prabhaker @Leo Gura

Thank you very much for the insights and for the advice. This motivates me a lot to even deepen my work. I don't want to run away from it, I actually want to face it. Next time this boredom arises I will look deeper into it, observe when and how it comes and what exactly it is feeling like. 

Yeah, I became really aware of my addictions lately. I mean, I knew it on a rational level from the theory. But actually feeling it in my bones was new to me. I realized my addiction to thoughts, keeping my mind busy with studying and work. the realization really hit me during my last shroom trip, where I was able to finally let go of all the monkey chatter. 

I also re-watched the video about the dark sides of meditation and this boredom is probably the ego trying to regain power. the dictator fights back  

I've been thinking about a solo retreat, specially after the video series on vimeo.. I know it would skyrocket my inner work. it's so difficult to organize with today's busy society, all the social obligations and university. but I will try to organize something the next months. 

Thank you very much for the help, I feel very motivated and excited about this growth opportunity.