How Do I Resist Sudden Urges?

[Samuel]

How do I resist sudden urges to party/have sex/eat junk? I've been having a lot of urges for sex, and it has made me go out and party to meet girls. Theres nothing wrong with this really, its just that I end up drinking or smoking and it sucks because it really ruins my momentum for self actualization/consciousness work. Also my sleep schedule gets fucked, and I have a lot less energy.

I'm currently making a pre mortem for my two month summer holiday. I want to make this a productive holiday in terms of personal growth, and I identified sexual urges as being one of the biggest possible causes for failure, because it makes me do some low conscious stuff to get the girls and really puts me off track in terms of spiritual and intellectual development.

What could be a solution for this cause of failure?

[Christian]

Despite sex, partying and slacking off are part of the human condition, they are distractions from self actualizing. Your higher self knows what is right to do in this case, but just because you know what is right does not mean that you can undermine your low consciousness desires through sheer willpower. They exist as part of the human condition. 

As Leo has already discussed, you have certain needs which goes back to a foundational concept: Maslow's hierachy of needs. If you are at the bottom of the hierachy, it is likely you will have to go through stages and transcend them until you can fully commit to self actualization for real. 

It is rare that an individual skips all stages and goes to self transcendence directly. Most people can't handle it. Especially with the way we live our life in modern western culture. 

Maybe you are not ready yet to live a life fully commited to spiritual development and real self actualization work. So don't let it consume all your time; balance things out and be social, have hobbies, party occassionally.

Good luck sir

[Nahm]

@Samuel daily morning meditation of only 20 minutes EVERY day will create a 'space' between those arising desires and your observance of them allowing you to choose in what feels like slow motion. You will benefit both by not reacting to impulses, and you will become more aware of a variety of impulses that you may not be aware of now.    Also, not the best idea in the long term, but for now, why not just rub one out? As you know, your state of mind will change. Then you have all that time back to do what you want to. In summation, my advice is meditate and beat off, apparently. 

 

 

[egoeimai]

@Samuel  Sex is a difficult subject. There are two people,you're not in control of other people ,other people are not under your control,so you can't control it. 

What you push away,comes back stronger.

However, if you let yourself partying all the time,is not a solution either.

Find the middle way. The healthy way. Something in between. Something that can't hurt you doing it, but not feeling deprivation either. 

The best way to 'resist' them is to detach from them, so to not need them any more to make u happy. Go slow, you can party not so often than you do now, cut back slowly ,not cold turkey,but during that find other things to bring you joy which are not so harmful to your psyche.

It's great that you realize that it's hurting you, you can change. Of course again I will recommend positive affirmations daily, since I've tried them,I managed to keep my mood quite high. 

Girls aren't really gonna bring you happiness you already know that.