Scared/lost

[alyra]

I'm scared and dunno what I'm doing. anyone else feel the same? 

 

 

 

sharing time!

I'm always seeing things that are too big to tackle. I try to focus on the things I can change right now, but yet I'm always pushing those untenable monster into my field of view. 

I'm lost because. this is harder to explain, huh. I just don't get up and take action when I know I wanna. doesn't make sense. I search for some reason to bring it all together. but reasoning just is a fog.

should I even post this? what validity to claim it's not just a request for attention? I should just lurk and never post! what am I to think the things I say are anything more than my own personal bigotry?

time to get up and go for a walk, I guess. takea bath and face the day.

 

ps. giggles that scared looks like sacred

[blacksapp]

I'm feeling the same way @alyra
I don't know what to do  

[dude]

I feel the same way, every time I do an attempt of changing my life and I look back half a year later everything is just the same.

[alyra]

it's so confusing to look back and wonder how can you changed? you clearly didn't! and yet sometimes I look back and it's so obviously different? I swear my mind has a mind of its own. and it don't has my best interest in mind 

Edited June 5, 2017 by alyra

[alyra]

thought of somethin more, sometimes It s helpful for to do....  the thing.... now I forget it... er, was it to work on finding action in the face of unmotivation? or maybe to feel comfortable with uncertainty? I often forget about those things too. more often really. maybe I should write it down. I probably did. I randomly find notes from past realizations, hehe they're helpful. then they get lost in my piles of papers n things everywhere again. I am such a mess. clean my room, clean my world! (bad Heroes reference)

 

 

tho I guess despite feeling lost, since the first posting here I've been finding things to do. facing the uncertainty, finding action despite it! I'm so proud of myself (she lies to self) (except now smiles without intending) (wow aren't emotions fun )

 

ok seriously I post on forums too much. hopefully I'll see y'all tomorrow and not before

[ajasatya]

the first step usually requires some planning and courage. i had to leave my parents and start a life based on minimalism so i could focus completely on the path.

a sudden leap of faith...
the old self murder.

[Dantas]

Notice how you were always scared and lost before this path, this is usually the answer they do not tell you in the books -

For good reasons. One is that you cannot grow if you submit to fear, it's all about being faithful or giving up. Two is that mostly when we're fearful and scared, it passes, and if you can accept that, you'll move into a place of no "scared and lostness"

The key is self-forgiveness.

I'm always fearful about this path, doesn't botter me so much now, though. 'Cause I've learned you've always got to inspire yourself again and balance your own rule setting. For many egos it will be difficult to embrace the paradox of growth vs. fear. Because it's still you growing and it still changes.

If you've done something wrong, let it go. If you've failed your expectations, try and become aware of them. There's no magic solutions to self-recurrences, because it's still yourself. From another perspective, look: If you cannot be open minded about yourself, how can you open your mind about anything?

Edited June 5, 2017 by Dantas

[Tony19]

You have to start somewhere. I find that the problem with viewing all this content at the same time is that it puts too much pressure, making it too easy to feel like quitting. Just pick something that you really want work on and build some momentum. Forget about the other things for now. Even mastering some of these concepts and getting results would build a lot of confidence and encourage us to learn and do more.

[Shin]

Take a meditation habit (at least 20 minutes per day) and stick to it for 3 months, and do the same for a fitness/workout habit after that.

[Alicja_]

@alyra I can totally relate. That's why I cannot give you any good advice.  

Just wondering... Figure out whether you are not under  pressure relating to the change of your habits. Pressure coming from other people, friends, family, forums like this one, etc.

Consider that whatever you do with your life, there is no good or bad, the two fake concepts, made up by all-controlling minds.  You don't have to do anything, nor change anything, unless you want to. And I see that you don't want to make big changes right now (in a practical sense), so set smaller goals, and build up the habit. Small changes can trigger bigger ones later I guess. 

[Emerald]

On 6/5/2017 at 7:04 AM, alyra said:

I'm scared and dunno what I'm doing. anyone else feel the same? 

 

 

 

sharing time!

I'm always seeing things that are too big to tackle. I try to focus on the things I can change right now, but yet I'm always pushing those untenable monster into my field of view. 

I'm lost because. this is harder to explain, huh. I just don't get up and take action when I know I wanna. doesn't make sense. I search for some reason to bring it all together. but reasoning just is a fog.

should I even post this? what validity to claim it's not just a request for attention? I should just lurk and never post! what am I to think the things I say are anything more than my own personal bigotry?

time to get up and go for a walk, I guess. takea bath and face the day.

 

ps. giggles that scared looks like sacred

I recommend starting with just one habit to change, and make sure that habit pertains to meditation, diet, exercise, or sleep. If you change your habits to these fundamental things, it will have a ripple effect on all other areas of your life. Be sure to focus on just one of these for a couple months. If you try to change more than one thing at a time or don't allow enough time for the habit to set, you will almost uncertainly fall right back into your old habits. Right now, I'm focused on my diet. Once I have that locked down, I will focus on implementing a daily yoga practice. 

[abrakamowse]

On 6/5/2017 at 8:00 AM, alyra said:

it's so confusing to look back and wonder how can you changed? you clearly didn't! and yet sometimes I look back and it's so obviously different? I swear my mind has a mind of its own. and it don't has my best interest in mind 

You need meditation to differentiate and discriminate thoughts from the source versus thoughts from the ego or lower self.

Your mind is not yours, you are aware of your mind and thoughts, you are silent consciousness, the observer.

 

Try some mindfulness meditation.

 

[alyra]

Maybe it is difficult because, the fundamentals/basics are what I want to be working on right now. But I am getting responsibilities I cannot handle dumped on me. And they don't appear to have anything to do with The goals that I want to be working on. It feels like i am in an anime or something lol - thinking I've got it going dandy and then some big baddy I shouldn't be able to even dream of handling corners me and has me coughing for breath and bruised and battered. Lol, is this the hero's journey  I thought it would be more meditative, yet here I am facing it in my pragmatic-based journey. 

 

I noticed today/yesterday I was more able to approach problems before I couldn't even comprehend right. I didn't really solve them but - that's an important change! It is like staring at a wall brings you a hammer. I guess that I am indeed more closer to intuition than the average monkey in this world. I feel lucky, to have found some crucial strengths back in an early age - even tho I didn't understand what I could use them for until last year lol. 

Edited June 9, 2017 by alyra

[eskwire]

@alyra You need to start with a simple and impactful habit. In your case, you want to start a concentration practice. There are threads here about concentration and a video by Leo to help you start. 

[SLICKHAWK]

The great secret of success is to focus the attention on the feeling of the wish fulfilled without permitting distraction.

All progress comes from those who do not take the accepted view, nor accept the world as it is.

[abrakamowse]

Know thyself