How I Awoke: The Story And Dynamics Of My Awakening

[Dizzy]

@Annetta you are not in trouble Its a fine quote to me and I felt like sharing   if it isn't applicable we can just ignore it 

[Real Eyes]

@Azrael  How much of a role do you think N,N-DMT played a role in your awakening, versus the other psychedelics like 5-meo/mushrooms/LSD?  I see that you did quite a few N,N-DMT trips.

[Azrael]

9 hours ago, Real Eyes said:

@Azrael  How much of a role do you think N,N-DMT played a role in your awakening, versus the other psychedelics like 5-meo/mushrooms/LSD?  I see that you did quite a few N,N-DMT trips.

I think that for me shrooms and 5-MeO-DMT did the most "damage" so to speak. The other ones like LSD / n,n-DMT didn't permanently change my consciousness. They led me to a lot of realizations and showed me incredible psychedelic experiences, but I was mostly the same going in and out. 5-MeO-DMT blasted all of the tensions out of my body and shrooms helped to clean up the rest of the system.

In some way it feels like they have a yin/yang relationship. 5-MeO-DMT is like a tyrant father that beats the shit out of you and makes you a man, and shrooms is like a poisonous mother that heals you with witchcraft.  So I always did 5-MeO-DMT and then a few shroom trips. And right now, if I do shrooms it's like doing 5-MeO-DMT for 3 hours with the shroom hallucinations and vibes. It's pretty heavy.

So yeah, they are the "Angel of Death's" first choice. BTW, I seriously think that if you did 5-MeO-DMT for like one week in a retreat with doctors and shit, every day, there is no way not to come enlightened out of this. The only thing is, who can stand this? One experience is like enough to integrate for a few months. Maybe even for a lifetime. It's that deep. But if you wanna make some progress, go with 5-MeO. There is no better technique on planet earth and I doubt that there will be a better one very soon. I doubt it.

[Mondsee]

@Azrael I am assuming that most of the people who know you don't know much about consciousness work. Have they noticed a difference in you? Do they tell you something?

[Guest username]

@Azrael In my strong determination sits, I believe I get small hits of how you're describing this 5-MeO experience.

Around 40 minutes or so into the sit, sometimes more and sometimes less, I feel some sort of energy trying to express itself but an involuntary holding in of that energy. I often feel it running up my spine and trying to release itself but the body contracting to prevent that. I am usually so overwhelmed by the experience that I feel as if I can only observe the body managing itself.  In this state all life narratives are rendered meaningless due to the intensity of the sensation, and there is just raw powerful experience. I find myself trying to cry but unable, resulting in some weird moaning but unable to get the big release that I want. This usually lasts for a little while but I have to give up due to the intensity.

Is this reminiscent of your experiences with the technique and as I speculated, a less intense version of what 5-MeO does for you? Will that large release happen as I get accustomed to the process and learn to just surrender to the present despite the intensity. I'm always astonished by how much resistance is there despite the work I've done on myself. After a year and a half of inconsistent SDS and consistent mindfulness, self-inquiry, and contemplation, the most I can manage is two hours.

[Azrael]

8 hours ago, Mondsee said:

@Azrael I am assuming that most of the people who know you don't know much about consciousness work. Have they noticed a difference in you? Do they tell you something?

Sorry, didn't get the question. Could you rephrase it?

[Azrael]

6 hours ago, username said:

Is this reminiscent of your experiences with the technique and as I speculated, a less intense version of what 5-MeO does for you?

Yeah, that's a good description of a phase in the technique and no it's not like 5-MeO. 5-MeO is not a physical pain. There is physical intensity but I wouldn't wanna make a relation here. It's very different and even the release that happens is very different. You know how it's like when the release with SDS finally happens? Take this and multiply it times infinity, then you get an idea how it's like when you break through ... or shall we say out.

6 hours ago, username said:

Will that large release happen as I get accustomed to the process and learn to just surrender to the present despite the intensity. I'm always astonished by how much resistance is there despite the work I've done on myself. After a year and a half of inconsistent SDS and consistent mindfulness, self-inquiry, and contemplation, the most I can manage is two hours.

Yes, it happens from time to time. It builds up, builds up, builds up and then releases. Here's a radical metaphor for how much you can purify (and why you seem so full of resistance): As long as you are not able to take a knife and cut your arm without feeling something, there's more SDS and 5-MeO to do.

Now, that's a metaphor. Don't cut yourself, be wise. But I have personally experienced a state in which this is possible. Because, if you are really not attached to you as a person, cutting your arm is like cutting a piece of meat you wanna eat. You feel nothing. But as I said, don't take me literally here. It's just a metaphor for you to dig.

[OBEler]

@Azrael He wanted to ask you, if the people you hang out with (your friends, family-members) noticed somehow your big change in conscious

[Guest username]

@Azrael Damn, you mean I shouldn't chop my balls off on the pretense of being more spiritually explorative?

[Azrael]

1 minute ago, OBEler said:

@Azrael He wanted to ask you, if the people you hang out with (your friends, family-members) noticed somehow your big change in conscious

I don't know. Haven't asked them. But you have to see that I'm still the same character, speaking in the same way, being interested in the same stuff. I'm now just way more relaxed, not in pain or tension any more and not in search any more (or let's say in desperate search). But it's not like I'm a totally different guy now. I'm mostly the same ... but better - cuz I know what's going on here and that's relaxing to know.

[Azrael]

4 minutes ago, username said:

@Azrael Damn, you mean I shouldn't chop my balls off on the pretense of being more spiritually explorative?

I mean you could, I mean you Americans are free people and free to do what ever you want, right? Well, it's just that there are these 2-3 people that will call on me when actual stupid people (and they exist - also here on the forum) will do that kind of stuff. That's why I have me precautions all set.

[Guest username]

@Azrael I appreciate your concern for my safety in any case. That's really cool of you to be thoughtful enough to take precaution.  Since we're literally going into the inconceivable, it could be easy for us to make bad choices.

[Azrael]

2 minutes ago, username said:

Since we're literally going into the inconceivable, it could be easy for us to make bad choices.

Very true.

[Ananta]

On 8/2/2017 at 10:00 AM, Bas said:

I'm preparing for an ayahuasca and 5-meo-DMT retreat in september. It's very interesting to read how much you have used psychedelics (at least one trip per month?).

This has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I have read in awhile.

A drug "retreat".... Now you need a retreat to do drugs...bahaha  How do they advertise for a retreat with illegal substances?? Do they screen recipients for mental illness or past episodes of psychosis? Is there a physician on-site if it, goes "bad"? Who get's the illegal drug charges if the retreat gets raided? ...just curious. I'm sure you've already asked they questions, so you're fully informed. 

Also, what's "very interesting" about someone becoming addicted to psychedelics? It's a drug, therefore can be abused. Sad really. 

Apprehension of one's true nature although mind blowing at first, does not require use of psychedelic's, at all. I'm sooo glad I didn't even hear of it as a serious method, until "this" forum. Therefore, I did not have to wonder if it was necessary, as I know it's not. 

It may be helpful for those that don't want to go the natural route. I wouldn't know, but needing to do it monthly, why? Did you not understand the trip the first time? Are you addicted to the "experience" of tripping? ...

 

Edited August 9, 2017 by Anna1

[Ananta]

 

I remembered Tolle discussing that he had taken LSD once. I forgot about this. So, I  looked for the clip.  Here's what he says about it at 4:35.

Edited August 9, 2017 by Anna1

[Real Eyes]

1 hour ago, Anna1 said:

This has got to be one of the most ridiculous things I have read in awhile.

A drug "retreat".... Now you need a retreat to do drugs...bahaha. How do they advertise for a retreat with illegal substances?? Do they screen recipients for mental illness or past episodes of psychosis? Is there a physician on-site if it, goes "bad"? Who get's the illegal drug charges if the retreat gets raided? ...just curious. I'm sure you've already asked they questions, so you're fully informed. 

Also, what's "very interesting" about someone becoming addicted to psychedelics? It's a drug, therefore can be abused. Sad really. 

Apprehension of one's true nature although mind blowing at first, does not require use of psychedelic's, at all. I'm sooo glad I didn't even hear of it as a serious method, until "this" forum. Therefore, I do not have to wonder if it would be necessary, as I know it's not. 

It may be helpful for those that don't want to go the natural route. I wouldn't know, but needing to do it monthly, why? Did you not understand the trip the first time? Are you addicted to the "experience" of tripping? ...

 

There are countries where you can do both of these substances legally. 

This, along with the rest of your objections have been addressed numerous times in Leo's videos on psychedelics, I suggest you watch them.

[Ananta]

1 hour ago, Real Eyes said:

There are countries where you can do both of these substances legally. 

Really? ..and what are those countries?

...In the US, LSD is a schedule class I drug...right up there with heroin. If you get busted, it's the same penalty.

1 hour ago, Real Eyes said:

This, along with the rest of your objections have been addressed numerous times in Leo's videos on psychedelics, I suggest you watch them.

He (Leo) does just have his own little posse here, doesn't he. It's absolutely amazing to me. State your opinion on a post and often times someone here will try to say either,  "it's a concept!" Or "watch leo's videos"... you fell into the latter, very typical response from peeps on this forum. Even if they give a specific video, it never has what minute where to start the vid, relating to their point...no, they expect you to watch 60-90 min of, who knows what, to make their point. 

So, you might as well have said, I don't know what to think, unless its coming from a Leo video. I also can't tell you what they say enough to make any meaningful conversation, so I'll just tell you to watch them... lol.

I'll tell you what I've said numerous times. I don't watch Leo videos. Not that I have anything against him personally. I didn't come here originally thinking I would or wouldn't watch his videos, but I don't care for the brainwashed effect many people here, imo, seem to have... 

If it has anything do to with Leo's "vids", then I'll just keep sayin', no thanks.

Edited August 9, 2017 by Anna1

[Azrael]

@Anna1, I suggest you try some psychedelics for yourself sometime and widen your perspective. You seem very ill-informed on the subject and it can be quite helpful and mind-blowing. There are a ton of psychedelic retreats for example in South America and there are whole clinics that do it with doctors and a lot of set up and stuff. These substances are not illegal there.

Also here in Europe in Holland for example psychedelic truffles and weed is legal. I don't do psychedelics once a month like Bas asked, I've times where I do it more and times where I do it less (because it's quite time-consuming and I have a lot going on) but throughout all my experiences it just helped out so much more then anything else, it's incredible.

Leo once shared a conservative opinion on psychedelics as well until he did it himself. So, maybe just try it. You can still be a hater after it (although you won't be. You'll be a fucking believer.)

[Leo Gura]

@Anna1 Ayahuasca and 5-MeO retreats are done in Peru for example. Totally legal and it's a very healthy shamanic sort of thing. Part of their tradition and culture for over 2000 years.

If you tried it, you would totally change your mind.

5-MeO is also legal in Spain.

The illegality of psychedelics in the USA is really a violation of the Constitution. It's a freedom of religion issue. But our government is just too ignorant and corrupt to understand this yet. They lie with propaganda against psychedelics all the time. It's scientifically proven that psychedelics have medicinal uses.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/the-despicable-war-on-drugs

In the next 10 years, in the USA, we will see the legalization of treatments using some psychedelics, because they are too effective to deny much longer, costing thousands of needless deaths each year from depression, anxiety, and opioid addiction.

5-MeO and Iboga are the two most effective cures for hardcore heroin addicts.

MDMA is the most effective cure for PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

Mushrooms and LSD are the most effective form of psychotherapy, which has been clinically demonstrated.

Ayahuasca and Peyote is also legal in the USA as part of Native American rituals and the Santo Daime church, which you can join and go to.

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Anna1 Ayahuasca and 5-MeO retreats are done in Peru for example. Totally legal and it's a very healthy shamanic sort of thing. Part of their tradition and culture for over 2000 years.

If you tried it, you would totally change your mind.

5-MeO is also legal in Spain.

Now I know where I'll go on my next vacation