How I Awoke: The Story And Dynamics Of My Awakening

[Azrael]

14 hours ago, Outer said:

If a mirror is in front of eyes, and eyelids are open, and there is a body there, who is that? Is that you? What is consciousness, and what is consciousness in others to you?

I can sense God as the Energy behind every occurrence that I sense in this world. I can sense how the Energy is flowing through my body and how it's shooting in my head. I can feel that if it shoots in my head how it goes through all of the neurons and thoughts appear. And I can see that in other people as well. 

I see how God as the Energy behind it is making every movement, is contracting and expanding, is fighting and healing. And the individual Self that is created through that, seems like a shell hiding the true nature of the Energy. I see the exact same picture that I saw before when I look in a mirror, but I see no human no more.

14 hours ago, Outer said:

I'm not sure I want enlightenment anymore. Because I think I am want other goals, but I might just meditate and do self inquiry for its benefits or if I change my mind later on to not be too behind on practice.

Can you still choose to stop? Haven't you had some deep experiences? I don't think you'll get out of this any more. You can try, but it'll come back in a few years and you'll always ask yourself: "How would it be?" That's the thing with this work. You really should think about whether you want in. Because if you do, you cannot get out ever again.

14 hours ago, Outer said:

How good is awakening, do you think? How different are you from before? I know this is coming from the from place of mind, but I can't understand it or wrap my head around it. It's self-contradictory.

It's fucking amazing. Not like having an orgasm all day long, it's not like that at all. It's very chill, very relaxed, I feel no suffering at all any more, I experience the depth of emotions a lot deeper, I feel very good with how I look, act, speak and be in this world, I love to make fun of myself these days and love to not take stuff seriously. I'm still involved in all the shit I was involved in before, I still am the same character, but loosened up. For me, it's the greatest because suffering went away on every level. And suffering was such a big thing before. Most people wouldn't even say that they are suffering because it's so subconscious for them. But if you cannot sit still for an hour and feel like you own the world, you are still suffering. And you don't aim for shit any more in that neurotic way you did before, meaning that you really feel bad if you want something.

If I would die today, I would be sad. But I'd die happily and with a lot of respect for myself because I overcame myself for the love of myself. And I will never do something again in my life that is so fucked up, hard, confusing and liberating in the end. I took a knife and stabbed myself to death just to see that when the knife hit the body, the body disappeared and I am still there.

[Afonso]

Are you willing to chug more 5-MeO down those nostrils to see what happens? 

Edited July 8, 2017 by Afonso

[Azrael]

On 8.7.2017 at 2:05 AM, Afonso said:

Are you willing to chug more 5-MeO down those nostrils to see what happens? 

Yeah, I will when I have the time and will to do it. Right now, I have a lot on my schedule. So, this'll wait.

[abrakamowse]

I had a short experience, while my wife was cutting my hair I sat and relaxed and I thought, I will meditate while she cut my hair.

Suddenly it was amazing, I felt I wasn't there anymore. Everything was flowing and happening so naturally. I felt like I was a shell with no content.

I am just trying to explain how it felt, but it wasn't exactly like that... there's no words to explain it.

 

It was just some seconds, but it felt like a lot. I think it was less than a second. I will continue meditating and see how this unfolds.

Just wanted to share guys! Thanks @Azrael for posting your experience.

[Afonso]

Do you still have Self-Image/Self-Insecurity issues?

[Ananta]

On 7/7/2017 at 3:45 AM, Azrael said:

I took a knife and stabbed myself to death just to see that when the knife hit the body, the body disappeared and I am still there.

What?? 

[Azrael]

12 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

What?? 

That was a metaphor, obviously.

[Ananta]

Just now, Azrael said:

That was a metaphor, obviously.

Gee, I was hoping..lol. if not, I was going to say you were delusional.

[Azrael]

23 minutes ago, Afonso said:

Do you still have Self-Image/Self-Insecurity issues?

Not really, no. I mean my character is still the same and there is a lot of stuff you could still actualize. Maybe I will in the future, probably. But it doesn’t bother at all. I love myself and what I do very whole-heartedly and I can see why I function the way I do.

[Azrael]

4 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

I was going to say you were delusional.

Be open or you'll miss the good stuff.

[Ananta]

5 minutes ago, Azrael said:

Be open or you'll miss the good stuff.

Lol, I know who "I am", but thanks. I also know If you literally stabbed yourself to "death", as you seemed to say,  you wouldn't be typing here, hence me saying you'd be delusional.

 

Edited July 19, 2017 by Anna1

[Ananta]

On 6/28/2017 at 4:15 AM, Azrael said:

As your thoughts go down, it'll naturally be like that because your awareness now shines more on different things. The main difference is that if I look at the shelf e.g., I can honest to god not feel or recognize a difference to what we would call myself.

I'm not trying to "attack" you, I swear. But, I call bullshit on this comment of yours. You're trying to tell everyone you don't recognize a difference between you and a shelf? Or is this again another metaphor?

If you mean the are both made of/created from awareness, then I get that. If you mean literally you don't see a difference, then how do you know when your eating if you're feeding your mouth or the shelf??

Some of your comments need explanations, do you see that?

[Natasha]

13 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

I'm not trying to "attack" you, I swear. But, I call bullshit on this comment of yours. You're trying to tell everyone you don't recognize a difference between you and a shelf? Or is this again another metaphor?

If you mean the are both made of/created from awareness, then I get that. If you mean literally you don't see a difference, then how do you know when your eating if you're feeding your mouth or the shelf??

Some of your comments need explanations, do you see that?

I think Azrael refers to a shelf in the same manner Leo often refers to a coffee table in his videos. Here's one example, watch the first 6 mins:

 

[Ananta]

@Natasha I cover that by saying, "If you mean the are both made of/created from awareness, then I get that."

People are idolizing him on this thread. I don't know if he doesn't see that or see's that and likes it. If it's the latter, it's all ego.

[Natasha]

25 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

@Natasha I cover that by saying, "If you mean the are both made of/created from awareness, then I get that."

Yes, in the above video Leo defines our existential nature as pure transparent empty awareness.  

 

[Dizzy]

58 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

People are idolizing him on this thread. I don't know if he doesn't see that or see's that and likes it. If it's the latter, it's all ego.

Why would that matter ? ? People idolize Trump, Obama, Leo, their teachers, God, the sun, the stars, this guy's thread. Not a thing one can do about that. If he sees it or not, if he likes or dislikes, that shouldn't be a problem either  

[Ananta]

16 minutes ago, Dizzy said:

Why would that matter ? ? People idolize Trump, Obama, Leo, their teachers, God, the sun, the stars, this guy's thread. Not a thing one can do about that. If he sees it or not, if he likes or dislikes, that shouldn't be a problem either  

Because when you apprehend your true nature, it's not something that everyone else doesn't already have. It's who/what you are. So, why is it special? It's not. Some just haven't realized it yet. It's not something to be idolized, as if it's not "you" already.

Ego likes to co-opt this realization, so one needs to be on the look out for that. 

Edited July 20, 2017 by Anna1

[Azrael]

7 hours ago, Anna1 said:

If you mean the are both made of/created from awareness, then I get that. If you mean literally you don't see a difference, then how do you know when your eating if you're feeding your mouth or the shelf??

I think you can answer this one for yourself with common sense.

[Heart of Space]

What's wrong with feeding your shelves?  They do get hungry now and then.  

[Ananta]

12 hours ago, Outer said:

"I can honest to god ..." was cherry on the pie.

I could say the same if I was intellectually lazy.

It's creating an idea of freedom/liberation (enlightenment)  being "mystical". That creates false notions in others and keeps them chasing a non-existent carrot. 

Realization is mind blowing, in the sense that you realize something you never noticed before (that's always here) and when this hits home in a deep way it becomes very humorous. 

Just my 2 cents.