How I Awoke: The Story And Dynamics Of My Awakening

[Guest Annetta]

@Huz Is that you?

[jse]

On 05/06/2017 at 4:53 AM, Azrael said:

How I Awoke: The Story And Dynamics Of My Awakening

I would really be interested in:

"How I Fell Asleep: The Story And Dynamics Of My Sleeping"

[Mondsee]

Having someone in this forum saying, I've done the work and gotten the promised results is truly inspiring.

Leo always says "don't believe any of what I'm telling you" and "be skeptical" and all that, so I do the work, but I've never forgotten that I might as well be doing all this for nothing because it's a scam until I prove it to myself. But having you telling us you proved it to yourself is a great motivation, so thank you.

I also have a question for you: I understand you're a student. Has your relationship to your studies changed, or has your performance suffered any modification to how it was before? Thanks in advance!

[Toby]

Why is it that you don't get direct feedback from teachers?

[Huz]

6 hours ago, Annetta said:

@Huz Is that you?

Yep that is me. Was doing some comfort zone challanges with a friend. 

Edited June 11, 2017 by Huz

[Azrael]

7 hours ago, Mondsee said:

I also have a question for you: I understand you're a student. Has your relationship to your studies changed, or has your performance suffered any modification to how it was before? Thanks in advance!

No, the relationship to my studies did not change but the performance went down a little bit. Not drastically, but it did. Simply, because I was very neurotic about it before and now it's on a healthy level. So, I see this as good because I'm not exhausting myself any more.

[Lynnel]

On 08/06/2017 at 9:45 PM, Martin123 said:

Funnily enough usually the bottom line emotion of the "love" was loneliness... talk about purity of romantic love FUCKING HOLYWOOD FUCKING HELL FUCK YOU XD.

OMG DUDE you can't even begin to fanthom how often I had this reaction. So much garbage across the lines of yeah you are supposed to end up with the princess, you haven't ever seen her or talked to her but she loves you for sure...etc you're conditionned for so much garbage and unrealistic expectations from culture it's insane.

that's why people like La La Land I guess, it break the whole overly idealistic cycle of the guy gets the girl.

[Martin123]

@Lynnel I loved lala land for the music haha.

[Bastian]

On 6/10/2017 at 6:08 PM, Azrael said:

I've answered the question how I see myself in others in this thread. If you search through the pages, you'll find it. I think this answers your question quite well.

Lol, I had read your previous answers, but I guess I didn't read them with enough attention  One more question if you don't mind. I get how nothingness can be known in its pure form. Rupert Spira put it like this: "it’s the sinking and sinking and sinking and sinking of the attention into its source and as the attention sinks into its source, it is divested of all the limitations that thought and feeling have superimposed on it and at some point it stands completely undressed. And attention undressed, attention divested of all limitations is pure consciousness". I've already had a taste of the process Spira is describing when I did Leo's guided letting go meditation. So I get that if I let go of everything (my self included) pure awareness will remain. What I've never understood is how it's possible to be aware of nothingness merged with content! I've heard Shinzen Young and Rali (Naked Reality on youtube) say that it's like an intuitive knowing, but this doesn't really mean anything.  Could you please help me understand?

[Azrael]

12 minutes ago, Bastian said:

I've heard Shinzen Young and Rali (Naked Reality on youtube) say that it's like an intuitive knowing, but this doesn't really mean anything.  Could you please help me understand?

An intuitive knowing means more than every word I can use to describe that intuitive knowing, I'd say.

But, let's put it like this. In the normal non-integrated state of egoic consciousness - still lovin' that phrase - you are deeply rooted in the belief that you are a person. It feels like that. When you reveal that this person is a self-image that is kept up and when you remove the attachment to that self-image, it mostly dissolves - or let's say it integrates. It's still there when you need it, but it isn't your point of reference any more.

Then automatically, your identity flips inside out, because it was centralized to this finite self-image and now that this is gone your identity becomes everything that there is. But that happens unconsciously, like your prior identification with the self-image also happened unconsciously.

And then, when you are in an integrated state of consciousness, it's obvious to see that you are everything. Then you begin to investigate what this everything is and you see that it's endless surfaces of reality that are hiding the nothingness that underlies it. But these are all metaphors, so I don't really know what to tell you.

Sit down and just realize that everything that you ever perceived is yourself. That is true. Because how could you perceive something that is not yourself? it's not possible. Realize that you were never born then, because if you once did not exist you could have never come into existence in the first place. The one who would've done that then would be you now. But how can that be if you once did not exist? Then realize that everything you know happens in one still moment. That there only is this one still moment that pervades all your experience. Just realize that right now. Then realize that in that one still moment, everything happens. Realize that even you perceiving this one still moment happens in it. Realize, that the forms in that one still moment always change. Then look at that. What is color actually? What is sound? How can you tell the difference between sound and no sound? What is that? Where is this coming from? And then just realize that all of these are endless surfaces coming out of nothing. And that nothing underlies all these surfaces and that you really are that. That's basically a direct route to your awakening. One of them.

Hope, that helps.

[Azrael]

13 hours ago, Toby said:

Why is it that you don't get direct feedback from teachers?

I tried a Zen group here in Berlin. Didn't like it. I like to be my own man and do my own stuff. I am a big fan of mentors and I had a few of them in life (mostly for business stuff though). But for this matter, I like to do it that way. Maybe that changes in the future, maybe not.

[Azrael]

A little bit of divine music, check this out guys. I love it.

 

[Erlend]

@Azrael Hey! What are you studying, if you don't mind me asking?

[Toby]

@Erlend wasn't it computer science?

[pluto]

Very well said, that was pretty much how it happened for me, similar ups and downs, confusions and darkness before a rise to light but like you said its not like one big DMT trip and your now awakened its just there, always been there but you never notice it and when you do notice everything starts to make sense and every step can be traced back to a synchronicity that occurred every step of the way. You did it yourself but you don't notice because you just become more of who you really are.

I had so much energy, information and downloads flowing through me it took me several months to noticed for myself. I had completely forgotten i was seeking enlightenment to begin with and how i got here well goes back to that.

If you seek you shall find

[Azrael]

5 hours ago, Erlend said:

@Azrael Hey! What are you studying, if you don't mind me asking?

I've talked about this in great detail. Please look before you ask. Computer Science.

[zunnyman]

@Azrael Hey, this might seem like a dumb question. I think you said something along the lines of this in the past "My whole life was a nasty lie" and then you cried after learning this. Can you expand on this? When you said this it really stuck with me, but I really want to know what that means. Does that mean one should get enlightened as soon as possible rather than wait for a lot of other goals to be accomplished, or that everything that you had done prior to enlightenment is a huge waste of time and life? 

Thanks

[wavydude]

@zunnyman I might not be most competent preson to aswer this but from my perspective trying to get  enlightened as soon as possible most likley will be neurotic and bring opposite results.

[zunnyman]

@wavydude I can definitely see how the process can be neurotic. However, theoretically wouldn't it be nice to be enlightened 3 years from now then 7 years from now with patient strategic planning. And so my point is, strategically I want to make this my top priority, and if it really is the only real thing that matters I don't see why this shouldn't be top priority or atleast high priority. I guess I mean the least time I can waste the better, and the more time I can bask in the experience of enlightenment the better, strategically getting to that point of course 

[Azrael]

8 hours ago, zunnyman said:

I think you said something along the lines of this in the past "My whole life was a nasty lie" and then you cried after learning this.

I think you are dreaming. No, I didn't. If you can quote that I would be astonished because I wouldn't say such a thing. My prior life was not a lie and my current life is not a lie. My prior life was everything that is needed to be here and now. There is no rush for enlightenment. Go for it, if you have the hunger for it. Go for something else,  if you have the hunger for that. Trust your intuition to lead you all the way. I could've never gotten to this point if I hadn't done that. That's why I will choose to go down a stupid road if my intuition leads my there because I know that I should probably make that experience then and learn from it.