How I Awoke: The Story And Dynamics Of My Awakening

[el_duderino]

@Azrael How has your perspective on LP changed?

Do you want to improve the world in some kind?

Or do you just want to express yourself creatively? (without real meaning, just to play)

Do you want to master some field?

Do you want to become famous?

Would you want to work on your Life Purpose even if you had 1 billion dollars, or would you focus only on consciousness work instead?

 

thanks  

[Azrael]

9 hours ago, unknownworld said:

Based on your description - At times I really feel like I am awakened. The question is - how do you know that this is genuine awakening and not the ego?

When you don't ask that question any more. There is a big difference in having enlightenment experiences and being rooted in an integrated state of being and a recognition of what I call source.

[Azrael]

7 hours ago, Be Yourself said:

@Azrael Do you have the clear knowing that you were never born and will never die? 

Yes, that's a thing that becomes obvious through the release of the self-image.

However, I'd guess that this needs time to really sink in. It's one thing to realize that and another to fully embody it in everything you do.

Right now, this is all fresh. It's like sitting in a new car that you never drove. You need your time to get used to it.

[Azrael]

3 hours ago, Bastian said:

@Azrael Can you become what you are seeing (or hearing, feeling etc.) whenever you want? That's an hallmark of enlightenment according to Shinzen Young and other teachers. And if you can, how would you decribe that "process"?

Have you ever melted in an experience? Did you ever look at a girl that you thought was so beautiful that you couldn't listen to what she said but you were just melted in the experience of seeing her? Have you ever been drawn into a fascinating story or movie in which you became part of the story? It's like that.

Yeah, it's possible to become what I sense. Mainly because there is no muscular tension in the head or gut that attaches the "I"-feeling to it. You can do that if you take an experience you are currently having and dig into the nature of its reality. Try to get what is happening when you see or hear. What is it made out of? Get it on an experiential level and stay with it. Then you'll melt in it.

[Azrael]

2 hours ago, el_duderino said:

How has your perspective on LP changed?

Nope. Still the same thing.

2 hours ago, el_duderino said:

Do you want to improve the world in some kind?

My life purpose has to do with that to a degree. I've talked about it on this thread in another post. I still work for the dark side, though.

2 hours ago, el_duderino said:

Or do you just want to express yourself creatively? (without real meaning, just to play)

Yeah, I do it through programming. That's my art.

2 hours ago, el_duderino said:

Do you want to master some field?

Yeah, computer science. I'm studying this.

2 hours ago, el_duderino said:

Do you want to become famous?

Not necessarily, no. I'd like to be an expert in my field and through that might come being famous to a degree. That's cool. But independent of what I do and love, I don't wanna be famous, no.

2 hours ago, el_duderino said:

Would you want to work on your Life Purpose even if you had 1 billion dollars, or would you focus only on consciousness work instead?

Yeah, I don't do it for the money. I love my field. It's nice that it pays well, though. That allows me to do even more cool shit. Consciousness work is cool and fine, but you need a balance to that. That's your life purpose. Also, I don't just do consciousness work or just life purpose. I live by principals (my consciousness work) that include certain practices and ways of doing my shit (life purpose and other stuff).

[AstralProjection]

2 hours ago, Azrael said:

When you don't ask that question any more. There is a big difference in having enlightenment experiences and being rooted in an integrated state of being and a recognition of what I call source.

@Azrael Do you think it's possible to take a strong dose of a psychedelic and take a euthanasia drug like nembutal and time it where nembutal would kill your physical body at right about the same time you would reach infinity nirvana or compete ego death. So would that one could permanently enlightenment? I think it likely would create a permanent enlightened state, but I want others opinion on this.

Edited June 10, 2017 by AstralProjection

[Azrael]

6 hours ago, AstralProjection said:

where nembutal would kill your physical body at right about the same time

I don't entertain such ideas. I've gotta a message a few days ago from someone who asked why we just don't kill ourselves to be infinity and enlightened and what not. If I read shit like that on the forum I get angry and sad at the same. Because these kind of people seem to not have listened and thought for themselves for one second. So please.

[BeyondForm]

@Azrael mate. when I was reading your story the other night, I literally could not believe the amount of parallels and similarities to my journey over the past few years. I started off just skim reading it at like 2am and before I knew it I was sitting up wide eyed reading the whole thing. Obviously, many awakening/realization journeys are going to be very similar, it's the fundamental human adventure, but I swear it was almost like reading my own exact account of what I've been through haha. I'd really like to do a full in depth reply when i get some time over the next few weeks and share my story as well, thanks for sharing yours.

[Azrael]

5 hours ago, BeyondForm said:

I'd really like to do a full in depth reply when i get some time over the next few weeks and share my story as well, thanks for sharing yours.

I'd like that. Go for it!

[AstralProjection]

5 hours ago, Azrael said:

I don't entertain such ideas. I've gotta a message a few days ago from someone who asked why we just don't kill ourselves to be infinity and enlightened and what not. If I read shit like that on the forum I get angry and sad at the same. Because these kind of people seem to not have listened and thought for themselves for one second. So please.

Do you get angry and sad when you hear about sallekhana or santhara?

[Bastian]

15 hours ago, Azrael said:

Have you ever melted in an experience? Did you ever look at a girl that you thought was so beautiful that you couldn't listen to what she said but you were just melted in the experience of seeing her? Have you ever been drawn into a fascinating story or movie in which you became part of the story? It's like that.

Yes, that happened to me before. But I wouldn't say that I became what I was sensing: I wasn't there at all! The only thing remaining was the perception. And then I "emerged" again after a while and started to think "Oh, I wasn't present for a while!". Is this what happens to you too? Maybe the problem is that I'm identified with the self and so when the self disappears, I disappear. What happens to you when your sense of self disappears? Can you recognize that that's what's going on, that the self isn't present anymore (while it's happening, not as an afterthought)? And if you can, how does it work?

Edited June 10, 2017 by Bastian

[Azrael]

1 hour ago, AstralProjection said:

Do you get angry and sad when you hear about sallekhana or santhara?

Yes. I do not support any spiritual practice that will inherently lead to the physical death of the body. In my opinion that is insane and unnecessary. Your body will die anyway, why not enjoy this form and have a good time? 

[Azrael]

1 hour ago, Bastian said:

Maybe the problem is that I'm identified with the self and so when the self disappears, I disappear.

Yeah, that in an permanent fashion is called awakening.

1 hour ago, Bastian said:

What happens to you when your sense of self disappears? Can you recognize that that's what's going on, that the self isn't present anymore (while it's happening, not as an afterthought)? And if you can, how does it work?

My sense of self disappeared. That's why I made this post.

I've answered the question how I see myself in others in this thread. If you search through the pages, you'll find it. I think this answers your question quite well.

[Martin123]

@Azrael is there a difference between activities you used to spend your free time with before and after awakening? You did mention that you took up dating n stuff  

But other like video-games, reading, movies etc.?

[AstralProjection]

1 hour ago, Azrael said:

Yes. I do not support any spiritual practice that will inherently lead to the physical death of the body. In my opinion that is insane and unnecessary. Your body will die anyway, why not enjoy this form and have a good time? 

Yeah that is a very interesting question. I was thinking, OK what if I could become eternally enlightened in nirvana doing what I said above. But then what is the point of creation? Creation has it's benefits too. So perhaps there is a middle ground. Ultimately I think creating a mixture of both heaven and earth, where heaven and earth merge is optimal. At the same time I think there is something to be said about people that take a psychedelic on their deathbed, like the famous Aldous Huxley. It's said that when he was on his deathbed dying of cancer that he took one last dose of LSD and had a peaceful death. I don't see anything to get angry or sad about there. He lived life to it's fullest and when it was time for him to go having dealt with the ravages of cancer to died the way he wanted to go, in psychedelic peace.

[Azrael]

1 hour ago, Martin123 said:

@Azrael is there a difference between activities you used to spend your free time with before and after awakening? You did mention that you took up dating n stuff

No, it's mostly the same. I think less about spirituality, though. I used to think about this all day long, now it's mostly gone. Because I embody and feel it on a very bodily, sensational level. So it kind of went from the head to the body. That changed. But maybe that's a phase, too. It probably is.

I don't care that much about myself any more, that changed. In the sense of how I look and behave. I used to be very strict with myself, I don't see a reason for that any more. If you are on the trajectory that you want to be on in life, there is no reason to be extra strict with yourself. Relax, it's a ride not a race. There is nowhere to get to any way. Every suffering can be easily lowered, if you just cut yourself some slack. But that needs practice.

I still love my studies, still move being out with my friends having fun. Even more so. I still like to be involved in dating and that whole game. I love having conversations with people and just fucking around. I think I got more sarcastic with time, but everything is still fresh. We'll see.

[Real Eyes]

Is there any point to awakening besides making life more carefree?  Buddhists and Hindus say you must awaken to escape transmigration.  But from many "awakening" experiences I read of people these days, it sounds like it doesn't matter if you awake or not in the end.  

So either these "awakened" people have gone further than the Buddha in experiencing the truth, or haven't gone as far as the Buddha.

Edited June 10, 2017 by Real Eyes

[Martin123]

2 minutes ago, Real Eyes said:

Is there any point to awakening besides making life more carefree?  Buddhists and Hindus say you must awaken to escape transmigration.  But from many "awakening" experiences I read of people thee days, it sounds like it doesn't matter if you awake or not in the end.  

So either these "awakened" people have gone further than the Buddha in experiencing the truth, or haven't gone as far as the Buddha.

Id say 1. You lower the ammount of suffering in the world.

2. You can develop real altruistic type of love to make an impact

3. Love and detachment is the best feeling combination possible for a human being

Edited June 10, 2017 by Martin123

[SOUL]

When someone experiences awakening the personal revelations that come with it can often become things they perceive as universal hallmarks and indicators of what accompanies enlightenment but this is what leads to dogma.

[Huz]

This is what happened when I experienced awakening.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B594KJJQYI99YzlUVjBXR0IyMnc 

Edited June 10, 2017 by Huz