How I Awoke: The Story And Dynamics Of My Awakening

[Ray]

Hey man, another great post; really happy for you and you're inspirng me man ahah. I'm 21 too , followed leo from a lot of time, meditate 1h every day from 2y and half and recently went on a Vipassana. Never done Psichedelics. 

Right now, and generally speaking in the last 2-3 years I've struggled a lot with my life purpose (want to be a movie director; but never done anything to become one, except now that I'm timidely working on a some shorts while doing a Media studies Uni). But yeah I'don't have a "strong life backbone" as leo would said. My "most secure/comfort zone/plan b" option is do after my uni a the same course Life coaching course that leo have done and become one. So yeah, in synthsis I'm focusing a lot on my life purpose. 

But at the same time the "I'm 21 so working on this could be a great investment" argument striked me... I don't know. My instict is telling me to focusing on life purpose... 

But what do you think, should I start do some psichedelics or that will just be counterproductive? Coz I really resonate with your "fascinated" and "go all the way" side, I'm holding myself back for my life purpose, again for make my dream real and have a stable situation. 

From the "style" of my question the answer it's so obvious (--> get your shits together then you could try sone), but I'm like "eeehhh I want to try themm" ahah. Btw what is "your life purpose?" Like university etc...

Edited June 5, 2017 by Ray

[Azrael]

@Ray, did you take Leo's Life Purpose course? If you didn't, take it. It's worth 10x times what it costs. At least. What it'll give you is the information synthesized from like 25 books and the structure that you need. I took it even though I knew what I wanted to do in life. It just gave me so many great tools and clarity. I really promote it because of that.

It seems like you need clarity and focus. But I don't know you. Make a plan, cut out shit that you don't like or that you know holds you back and don't be too hard on yourself. If you really have a passion and you lay out the plan and follow it, that can be enough to have a good start.

With psychedelics, do the research and decide for yourself. I have responded to probably 20+ messages here on the forum that I don't help people get 5-MeO-DMT. And it's basically because I want them to do the research. Because that's as important as the experience. If you don't do it, you don't know what to expect and how to interpret it.

It's the same with everything else. You need the theory and the practice.

[Ray]

Hey thanks for the answer. 

Yes I've done the LP course, procrastinate the plan a lot but then discover that my lp wasen't "public speaking" but "movie director". At least it's what I feel right right now, and I will do my small bet (which I even have an accountable parter for) and put all my effort on it in this part of my life. This is 100% sure. I'v even re-done some part of the LP course for my new LP to refine it. 

And of course w psichedelics I totaly agree with your approach; I would do TONS of research before doing it. 

But my question was more like its fine to do psichedelics and Lp... but yeah I'd already knew the answer: The right thing it's to work on my Lp now and after I've reach some milestone I would contenplate the idea of psichedelics. That's the right thing, because it's the most emotional difficult one. Thanks  

[Azrael]

7 minutes ago, Ray said:

That's the right thing, because it's the most emotional difficult one. Thanks  

Sometimes you are in a state in which you realize what is the right thing to do. however you just don't have the inspiration and drive to start doing it. Psychedelics can help with that if you target them to it.

[Leo Gura]

@Azrael Great stuff. Thanks for the write-up.

[el_duderino]

@Azrael thanks! very inspiring story  

[Thinh]

14 hours ago, Azrael said:

Sometimes you are in a state in which you realize what is the right thing to do. however you just don't have the inspiration and drive to start doing it. Psychedelics can help with that if you target them to it.

Thanks a lot for your post. Is it really can do that?? There are a lot of times in my life when I know that's the right thing to do but something in me just keep me from doing it and it makes me feel upset when I look back. Btw, I'm 21 too

[Azrael]

3 hours ago, Thinh said:

Thanks a lot for your post. Is it really can do that?? There are a lot of times in my life when I know that's the right thing to do but something in me just keep me from doing it and it makes me feel upset when I look back. Btw, I'm 21 too

Yeah, psychedelics can help in that situation. But be careful, use it like precious magical gold. Don't abuse it for just being lazy. There is a difference between laziness and just not being able to get on your feet. Contemplate that.

[abrakamowse]

11 minutes ago, Azrael said:

Yeah, psychedelics can help in that situation. But be careful, use it like precious magical gold. Don't abuse it for just being lazy. There is a difference between laziness and just not being able to get on your feet. Contemplate that.

Jed Mc Kenna told me that, I went to his forums and I talked (chatted) to him about 5MEO and he said that I don't wanna do the work, that I have to stop avoid doing the work and being lazy (or something like that)... Lol

He also said that drugs can mess me up, I think he's not too much into psychedelics.

Edited June 6, 2017 by abrakamowse

[Soulbass]

On 05/06/2017 at 0:56 AM, Toby said:

That's why I asked. It's easy to delude oneself how amazing one is doing if you don't have a mirror who can show you both potential but also your delusions aka "blind spots".

Could you explain what is a mirror?

[Toby]

A mirror reflects back to you without distortion who you are but also what patterns are active. Everything can be a mirror except for most (>99%) human beings as they cannot reflect it back to you without distortion.

[abrakamowse]

@Soulbass @Toby  But when we see others, we see them distorted by our biases.

That can help too to know more about ourselves. In fact, we don't see others, we see ourselves reflected on others. Everything is a mirror. Right?

[Leo Gura]

On 6/6/2017 at 10:33 AM, abrakamowse said:

Jed Mc Kenna told me that, I went to his forums and I talked (chatted) to him about 5MEO and he said that I don't wanna do the work, that I have to stop avoid doing the work and being lazy (or something like that)... Lol

It's true. We don't want to do the work. That's the entire challenge of this journey. Where 5-MeO can be useful is getting you to want to do the work.

[nightrider1435]

On 6/6/2017 at 10:33 AM, abrakamowse said:

Jed Mc Kenna told me that, I went to his forums and I talked (chatted) to him about 5MEO and he said that I don't wanna do the work, that I have to stop avoid doing the work and being lazy (or something like that)... Lol

He also said that drugs can mess me up, I think he's not too much into psychedelics.

I can agree with that. You really just need to respect this shit IMO. I'd be concerned that I would mess myself up if I went to fast.

 

[Phrae]

I've stopped meditating for like 2 months. I was wondering almost every single day why I stopped. Why I don't feel inspired anymore. I still don't know if I'm going to be meditating. I've been meditating while laying on my back because of posture problem that I'm obsessed about. 

Thanks for the write up. I do obsess about it, I'm not sure if it's enough though. It's something I think about whenever I don't feel good.

[abrakamowse]

Thanks @nightrider1435  and @Leo Gura   Very valuable to take into consideration.

[bobbyward]

@Azrael how is " source " known or experienced. What is the experience like. I hear some teachers say it can't be known or percieved. And I think to myself if it can't be perceived how do you know it's there or exists. 

[Azrael]

4 hours ago, bobbyward said:

@Azrael how is " source " known or experienced. What is the experience like. I hear some teachers say it can't be known or percieved. And I think to myself if it can't be perceived how do you know it's there or exists. 

It's recognition of who you are. It's something that is present in every situation you are in. When you are awake, asleep, dead and alive. And through that and in that does the surface of what you call you appear.

You have "recognized" through belief and mis-information that you are a subset of the surface of reality - you call your body. Well, if you get rid of that belief, you can recognize where this shit is coming from and that you are that.

You can not know it in it's entirety - meaning that you can understand it intellectually because your intellect is a subset of it - but you can very well recognize and dive in it.

[WaveInTheOcean]

Great post @Azrael , i'm excited on your behalf and it's inspiring to read.  I got a few silly questions:p

1. When you do your meditation, do you sit on a chair or do you sit cross-legged in some yoga pose, if yes which?

2. When you do the HoloSync combined with SDS and Do-Nothing, do you sit with open or closed eyes?

3. Do you regularly do any physical exercise - eg. running - to stay fit/keep the body in good health?

4. What is your life purpose?

5. Your favorite Alan Watts lecture on youtube is ...?

6. You mentioned you take kola nut with 5-MeO ... Do you happen to take any supplements daily?

7. Have you at any point had a girlfriend during the last 3 years of your life?

8. During the year where your "anxiety increased to a top", did you then have any sleep issues? If yes, was there anything in particular that helped you to sleep anyway?

[Afonso]

Do you suffer anymore?