Daphne's (meditation) Journal

[Daphne]

Hi reader,

Welcome to my journal. I've meditated a few times before but not regularly.

3 days ago I made the commitment to meditate, 30 minutes a day, for the rest of my life!

I will stick to this and it will change my life for the better.

In this journal I will keep track of it all. How I'm feeling, what I'm learning from myself and how I'm growing.

Hopefully this will help me stick to meditating daily. Also, it will be good for my English which isn't the best so spare me please.

Feel free to read with me.

 

 

[Stef]

Hey, Daphne. Good luck with the meditation and your actualized journey!

[Daphne]

Just finished my session of the day and I must say it was interesting. The past few days I was feeling kinda good throughout the day and many things did arise while meditating. It felt like I had to work hard to reach the state I was aiming for.

Exept for today, I felt awful the whole day. I almost didnt meditate because my motivation to do anything was so low. But I did it and.. I was so peacefull and calm. The 30 minutes went by pretty fast and now I feel kinda sad again.

Im getting tired of myself. I feel dumb. More and more im getting mini insights throughout the day. A few times per day now the thought pops in my head: you were asleep again.

But when I think that I get a bit angry at myself because when I think Im asleep I dont really wake up. I dont know what it is to be awake. I want to though..

Hope I make sense.. Today was kinda depressing..

BUT normally I wouldnt meditate on a day like this so its a good thing I now did. Makes me feel a bit stronger.

On to the next day!

[Daphne]

So today I did the 'Do Nothing' technique for the first time. It felt a bit weird to meditate with my eyes open and without music. 

I was struggling to keep my eyes open and my blinking irritated me but I pulled through. I let my mind go and time went by pretty fast. I didnt expect it to go so fast actually. I noticed how much I try to control my mind and the things I do. 

When I first got an itch during meditation I was fighting myself really hard not to scratch but now Im not fighting anymore. It will pass. 

Wish I was comfortable with the itching though but that will take a lot more experience I guess.

Ok so I completed day 5 and I feel positve and confident. Lets not get over confident.

For me it takes a long time to build a habit and I find it extremely hard to stick with things. 2 more days and I completed 1 whole week. I can do this.

[Zephyr]

Real dope. Keep it up

[Kevster]

Nice Daphne,

Seems like you are a perfectionist  lol. I can relate to that. I am one of the worst habit builders of this planet, but I managed to do it now for 6 months daily. I started out with just 8 minutes a day for the first 2 weeks (even days I knew I could do more). If you really want to stick to it, consider perhaps the FOGG-model of habits. I just started out really small. I think 30 minutes is possible, but I also think you set the standard enormously high in the first place. And also if you skip a day, or to many days in a row, let it be a learning point, perhaps the 30 minutes was to high and it is easier to START if you know you need to meditate for only 5-10 minutes ;). If you want to make it a long lasting habit, it is allways efficient to set the right basis. This works for me at, I don't know for you, perhaps you can experiment. 

I wish you good luck on it! 

Kev

 

[Daphne]

today was awful.. Dont bother to read! I broke up with my boyfriend after we've been together for about 6.5 years (on and off)..

i did meditate.. But I felt like I did nothing at all because I couldnt focus and even cried during..

there's not much more to tell. Im way too tired. But im gonna say it again: I did it.

Even on the day that I had to make the hardest decision of my life so far.

now im gonna rot away to eventually grow, bye 

Edited February 18, 2016 by Daphne