How Do You Know That More Self-development Is What You Need?

[Mastral]

Hello, I have been only reading the forum so far and noticed that there are plenty of knowledgeable people on here so maybe someone will be able to give good advice!

My self-development has been going well(ish) with a relatively clear path of education, fixing life parts that need to be fixed, introducing good habits, higher-level consciousness activities etc. I even started getting into more spiritual areas like meditation, retreats, learning about enlightenment etc.

The problem I find is that I am sitting on the fence. I can't reconcile this self-development world view with a nihilistic and pragmatic/physical approach to life that I've had more or less since forever. Best summary would be any of Benjamin Smythe's videos saying that essentially "Spiritual people die every day; we just move things around trying to get what we want, most of the time we don't. Nothing and no one will be remembered. Chill out and do what you like".

I mean, I really cannot disagree with practical statements like these as I have been thinking this for most of my life (haven't been into religion and spirituality apart from Buddhism). Even though I want to believe in things like Improvement, Life Purpose, Sagehood that we can strive to achieve I very easily get all the way back to "this-is-all-bs and not real, screw the hope-selling industry; I need to chill out and enjoy my life and the things I do". The problem is that this would lead me straight to hedonism and low-consciousness activities like watching tv, partying, chasing material things like health/physique, status and money etc.
If I do that I am back to where everyone in modern society is (with the consensus on here that we can do better), maybe with some ability to see it for what it really is.

So how do you convince yourself that these ambitious self-development goals are what will actually bring you happiness, bliss and fulfillment?

[Shin]

You got to find your life purpose, like that you could "Chill out and do what you like (even though it will challenging as fuck)" for the rest of your life.

[Mastral]

34 minutes ago, Shin said:

You got to find your life purpose, like that you could "Chill out and do what you like (even though it will challenging as fuck)" for the rest of your life.

That will definitely partly help; assume it is a fulfilling job/business, contributing to society and interesting to do but what do I do the rest of the time? I.e. using cliche examples - do I:

1. meditate and trying to become a sage or
2. binge watch tv before heading out for a night out/cinema?

How do I know/make myself believe that meditation etc. will make me happier than a night out or seeing a movie (which you can tell straight away from experience will be enjoyable)?

[Shin]

Just now, Mastral said:

That will definitely partly help; assume it is a fulfilling job/business, contributing to society and interesting to do but what do I do the rest of the time? I.e. using cliche examples - do I:

1. meditate and trying to become a sage or
2. binge watch tv before heading out for a night out/cinema?

How do I know/make myself believe that meditation etc. will make me happier than a night out or seeing a movie (which you can tell straight away from experience will be enjoyable)?

You won't need to believe it, you will feel it.

Don't worry, you can't go back if you go far enough.

[SOUL]

Why can't we do both? There's nothing restricting us from doing both self development and enjoying what we like at the same time. In fact, that is the ideal way to express oneself authentically.

Although, if just chasing after self serving things were satisfying them there wouldn't be as many miserable people as there are since most are doing only that anyway. Often, the most significant transformation that someone can have is to be more fulfilled in life as it is and not what they change about themselves.

[Mastral]

23 hours ago, SOUL said:

Although, if just chasing after self serving things were satisfying them there wouldn't be as many miserable people as there are since most are doing only that anyway.

On the contrary, this is not quite what I see. Most people seem quite happy uploading their brunches on Instagram, getting new kitchen furniture and working towards the next promotion/pay rise. It is just us troubled souls who refuse to acknowledge these goals so that we can pursue The Truth (and hoping it exists).

So it looks like my best bet for now is to carry on and hoping a breakthrough will occur just like @Shin mentioned with enough practice.

[SOUL]

3 hours ago, Mastral said:

On the contrary, this is not quite what I see. Most people seem quite happy uploading their brunches on Instagram, getting new kitchen furniture and working towards the next promotion/pay rise. It is just us troubled souls who refuse to acknowledge these goals so that we can pursue The Truth (and hoping it exists).

So it looks like my best bet for now is to carry on and hoping a breakthrough will occur just like @Shin mentioned with enough practice.

Sure people "seem quite happy" on social media and when they get what they want until they don't get it which inevitably happens, then they whine, cry and rage upon the world. Us "troubled souls" prefer to find our fulfillment in the appreciation of just being and not in materialism or superficial goals.

That's the "truth" which always exists even when all the superficial materialistic goals don't. Of course, someone who is asleep to this type of genuine fulfillment couldn't understand this let alone realize it. There's no practice for fulfillment in just being....either you do or do not, there is no try. /yoda.

Edited June 5, 2017 by SOUL

[ajasatya]

On 03/06/2017 at 2:57 PM, Mastral said:

So how do you convince yourself that these ambitious self-development goals are what will actually bring you happiness, bliss and fulfillment?

try everything else. for real.

sooner or later you'll see that true happiness comes from not needing external things. self-development is finding that freedom.

Edited June 5, 2017 by ajasatya

[Mastral]

@ajasatya@SOUL Your insight helped! It now adds up... not necessarily aim for Enlightenment but for ability to experience happiness no matter what. So simple but I lost sight of it completely.

[SOUL]

@Mastral My first reply expressed that we can do both in enjoying the things we do in life as well as finding fulfillment in just being regardless of what comes in life.

It is very common to have the mind distract us with intricate and complicated methods and techniques by convincing us that  those are more important than the simple appreciation in just being.

So it's okay to let the mind distract itself with the materialistic pursuits and methodologies since that what it does but it is up to us to also keep focused on the fulfillment that comes from the appreciation in being present.

This is how we can keep a balanced exprience of both enlightenment in being fulfilled  with the present moment as well as a realistic  grounded appreciation of  what we do in life.

Edited June 6, 2017 by SOUL

[Leo Gura]

The logic of life is very simple:

1) Here you are alive.

2) How can you live the most fulfilling life possible?

3) By learning about life and yourself, and then embodying those lessons.

4) Rinse and repeat.

5) Live happily ever after.

That's basically it. The rest is just minutia. As simple as that sounds, nobody actually does it! People make up 1001 excuses to sabotage this simple process.

[Visitor]

On 6/4/2017 at 3:57 AM, Mastral said:

... So how do you convince yourself that these ambitious self-development goals are what will actually bring you happiness, bliss and fulfillment?

To repeat your question: What will actually bring you happiness, bliss and fulfillment?

Answer: Loving.

To be free from fear. Which is manifested in such things as greed, want, validation, etc. These are all forms of tension.

To be loving, unconditionally, requires total release of tension. No fear. So one can open their heart like a blossom of radiance.

A self-development goal, in this regard, would be to be fearless. Which is manifested as being soft, open, allowing, accepting, forgiving, tolerant, patient, and listening, because all these traits is what truth is. And it's full expression is unconditional love.