My Current Issue

[step1]

Hi ladies and gents,

 

I've been meditating for 6 weeks now...   Since this process started I've had some strange moments where I felt like a euphoria was coming over me, and before I let it peak I get scared and lose traction..  This actually happens not during meditation but when I am thinking about the things I have read in 'the power of now' and whilst contemplating the things I have seen in Leo's videos.  It actually happened last night after Leo mentioned in one of his videos that the past and future are a figment of your imagination, they are not real.  I suddenly became aware of this possibility and had an intense rush which I cut off before it overcame me.  I got worried and overwhelmed/freaked out by the sheer magnitude of this possibility.

 

Anyways, so that's kind of where I'm at for the moment.  I don't know whether those experiences are significant or not, but getting on to my issue.  I started self inquiry last night.  I began to ask myself 'who am I?'  'Am I this voice in my head? Or am I something else?'  'If I am this voice in my head then how am I listening to myself?'  'Surely there is someone listening to me to hear myself? If so who is it?'  Etc. 

The problem I have is I see the voice in my head as the bad guy and the observer who realises that it is just a thought as the good guy, but I see these 2 as kind of a split personality, 2 sides of one person: therefore I am having trouble seeing the mind chatter as not really me if that makes sense?  Has anyone else had this problem?

 

Regards

[WelcometoReality]

These experiences will come and go. They will get you closer to reality, just don't cling on to those experiences. Instead focus on that which is experiencing those experiences, just like you have been. What is it that's ever present in the midst of those experiences?

The voice in your head is just a voice. It's not good or bad. Don't give it attention.

[xXxXx]

In the beginning of meditation practice i felt the same, you are so used to the feeling that the chatter is you that you even have to try hard to get it muted. As i got deeper into the practice, not resisting the thoughts just observing it, it now feels like the thoughts are like an everchanging veil of fog in front of your consciousness, totally separate of it.

The thoughts form out of the fog, out of nothing, i can detach myself now better from the monkey mind. In my opinion it is possible that the mind chatter is a form of projection, for example society projecting a role on you and the mind tries to manipulate you into that direction.

[vizual]

Realize your thoughts are the effect of knowing. You don't know by thinking, you think by knowing. The thoughts that appear inside your head is simply a manifestation of the sensations you have come across. Your thoughts are not a thing in itself, and they definitely are not "you". Your thoughts cannot exist without the sensations your ego labels as the "outside" or "external" world. The outside and the inside world are on the same level. The separation is the mirage. 

So try to look at your thoughts not as "you", but simply as a reaction. Just like your entire body is made up of the food you have ingested, yet, you would never consider yourself as food.

[step1]

Thanks for the replies folks   I have much to think about.

[abrakamowse]

The problem we have is that we think we are our mind, or our ego. We don't know who we are, that's the confusion.

We learn to associate ourselves with the mind or the ego, and we are not really that. Our ego doesn't like that, because we feel that if we don't associate with our ego, we will lose our identity. And there it begins the chatter... 

One of the best tools that I used to stop the chatter (in fact you don't stop it, you just see it like nonsense, and you realize is not you so you don't pay attention to it) is the mindfulness meditation. Here you have the video.