Masturbation

[Ryan_047]

Hello there!

I wanted to open this new thread because I have some dilemmas.So,first of all I guess it is important to say that I'm 17(male).

My question is..Is masturbation bad in itself?Should I masturbate?If yes,how much?

I usually do it for 2-3 times a week.I am not an addict from what I can tell.And I don't use porn for it..Just pictures.

You might have heard about NoFap..If not,it is a community that encourages individuals to drop masturbation and porn for ever,or for a few months.They consider this a kind of self-development tool,and there are a lot of cases in which people prove trough their own experience that NoFap works.They experience many benefits like loss of depression,anxiety,increased self-confidence etc.

On the other hand,there are people that support masturbation(without porn).They say it is healthy..but many people in the NoFap community are saying that masturbation is bad,and that it only harms you.I have posted a similar thread there,but I think I received only 2-3 good answers.The rest were bullshit like.."I think you are an addict,but you can't admit it to yourself" or they respond by saying that porn is bad in a million different ways,even tough I asked something different -_-.

I tried NoFap 2 times and failed after 2 weeks..Not that I couldn't abstain and go further..But I was still skeptical about it..and still am.It sounds kind of scary not to go masturbating for 3 whole months or even a year.

So..is masturbation bad or not?Has anyone tried NoFap around here?

[TJ Reeves]

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

Is masturbation bad in itself?

No. Nothing is.

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

Should I masturbate?

It's up to you. 

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

If yes, how much?

As long as you do not find that it interferes with the rest of your life

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

I usually do it for 2-3 times a week. I am not an addict from what I can tell. 

You're not addicted to anything until you find that a) it interferes with your personal goals and b) you cannot stop .

2-3 times a week is a totally normal number for a 17 year old male -- your hormones are raging at this age.

I knew kids who did it like 2 or 3 times per day at that age. I tell you that for context so you don't feel bad about yourself. 

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

On the other hand, there are people that support masturbation(without porn).

I'm someone who masturbates without porn.

I used to be have a habit of watching porn, but I found out that porn was highly correlated with depression, so I stopped.  It's been a few years since I last watched porn and I feel much better. I've personally confirmed in my own life that the chances of depression hitting me are much lower when I don't watch porn. 

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

many people in the NoFap community are saying that masturbation is bad,and that it only harms you.

NoFap is largely populated by people experiencing a ridiculous overreaction to porn. Many of the people on there have simply substituted their addiction to porn for an addiction to posting on NoFap. It's a joke. 

12 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

So..is masturbation bad or not? Has anyone tried NoFap around here?

Masturbation is not bad as long as it does not take over your life.

A big key is to draw out autoerotic sex the way you would draw out regular sex with a partner. By that I mean involve some foreplay and don't just jackhammer away at yourself. Specifically, take a watch, set a 10 minute timer, and don't allow yourself to cum until the timer hits. Don't have any images available other than your imagination. Focus on what it feels like to touch yourself - make it a form of body-mind meditation. Make a whole date out of it -- do an activity that you like as if you are going on a date, then come home with excitement to masturbate. 

If I have a creative project I'd like to get done or if I haven't gotten laid in a while, I might hold off on masturbation just so that I have a bit of extra energy. For example, I might only masturbate on Saturday nights where I don't have a partner. 

But overall, getting mad at myself for masturbating is a sign of neuroticism just as much as not controlling my ability to masturbate is.

You're a chimp. Chimps like sexual stimulation. Accept it. Accept yourself. 

The NoFap guys are no enlightened beings - their posts are pretty obvious indicators of this fact - so take their advice with a major grain of salt. 

Edited June 2, 2017 by TJ Reeves

[Ryan_047]

@TJ Reeves That's a new way of looking at it.Thank you.

I am thinking about trying NoFap for 60 days tough.I am really curious if I would experience some benefits.What do you say?

And,how can I know if masturbation interferes with my goals?

Also,there are some.. let's say enlightened people that have tried NoFap and now support it..like Ralph Smart.He is got a video on it.

[beatlemantis]

 

@Ryan_047 If you think it'll benefit your life, or even if you want to try it out due to pure curiosity - go for it. No "should's" about it, just see if it works for you and it'll be a much better experience than moralizing your viewpoint of it. Of course, this doesn't mean you wouldn't benefit from going without masturbation. 

If you have some trouble noticing when aspects of your life are negatively impacting you, there's a ton of great things you can do to inquire within yourself (i.e. journaling, self-inquiry, etc.) I think sexuality has immense prospects for self-discovery and self-exploration. We're at similar ages, and I know it's really benefited me in feelings of liberation and connection with others - though that's not exactly necessary for a self-actualized path, it can still bode for some really interesting and impassioned life experiences. 

Also, just my personal thoughts on the subject... if you find that you wish to stop masturbating - strained, external control over yourself will only lead to a build-up and in my experience, inevitable struggle and "failure". @TJ Reeves has an excellent mention of self-acceptance - that is the way to truly dissolve yourself of any unwanted habits. Leo and plenty of other guides have many videos and resources about this (my recommended are below) 

You might even already be familiar with these, but can't help to share!

I wish you the best, keep us updated, yeah? 

[TJ Reeves]

1 hour ago, Ryan_047 said:

I am really curious if I would experience some benefits. What do you say?

You'd have to see for yourself. Personally, I found that the NoFap reports are over-exaggerated: I simply became hornier and as a result ended up fucking my girlfriends more - which is cool, but it's wasn't some sort of a magic pill the way i've seen it described.

1 hour ago, Ryan_047 said:

And, how can I know if masturbation interferes with my goals?

Know your personal values and then see if masturbation interfere with them. 

My top ten personal values are Truth, Growth, Courage, 100% Responsibility, Unconditional Love/Happiness, Non-judgment, Non-Attachment, Purpose, Benevolence, and Mastery. 

Does masturbation get in the way of those? That's up to debate within oneself. 

1 hour ago, Ryan_047 said:

Also,there are some.. let's say enlightened people that have tried NoFap and now support it..like Ralph Smart.He is got a video on it.

There are 233,048 Fapstronauts according to the webpage. With any number that large, I'm sure can find some awakened person in the crowd.

Also, if you think that Ralph Smart/Infinite Waters became awakened because he did a NoFap challenge, you're kidding yourself (CAN I GET A HELLOOOOO). Beyond that, since you mentioned him, I did some research and it took 3 seconds for me to find one of Smart's own videos where he specifically says that masturbation is not bad.

But on the whole, many of the posts on from the NoFappers are low consciousness freakouts about how people started NoFap and then stopped.

My Final point:  Pick your battles wisely. No one will give a flying fuck about the fact that you went 60 days without masturbating. You won't make money nor will you help the world nor will you raise your consciousness all that much solely by NoFapping.

[Alex4]

Quit masturbation. Its a waste of time and energy. 

[bluesky]

3 hours ago, beatlemantis said:

 

@Ryan_047 If you think it'll benefit your life, or even if you want to try it out due to pure curiosity - go for it. No "should's" about it, just see if it works for you and it'll be a much better experience than moralizing your viewpoint of it. Of course, this doesn't mean you wouldn't benefit from going without masturbation. 

If you have some trouble noticing when aspects of your life are negatively impacting you, there's a ton of great things you can do to inquire within yourself (i.e. journaling, self-inquiry, etc.) I think sexuality has immense prospects for self-discovery and self-exploration. We're at similar ages, and I know it's really benefited me in feelings of liberation and connection with others - though that's not exactly necessary for a self-actualized path, it can still bode for some really interesting and impassioned life experiences. 

Also, just my personal thoughts on the subject... if you find that you wish to stop masturbating - strained, external control over yourself will only lead to a build-up and in my experience, inevitable struggle and "failure". @TJ Reeves has an excellent mention of self-acceptance - that is the way to truly dissolve yourself of any unwanted habits. Leo and plenty of other guides have many videos and resources about this (my recommended are below) 

You might even already be familiar with these, but can't help to share!

I wish you the best, keep us updated, yeah? 

That guy in the second video, is that new Eckhart Tolle? 

[Lai]

Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad I'm over here.

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.

[Ryan_047]

@Alex4 Because of such abstract answers people get confused(me included).Can you please develop your answer?

[Ryan_047]

@TJ Reeves A good reply,thank you.

I didn't said that Ralph Smart became enlightened trough NoFap,lol..

 

[beatlemantis]

@bluesky Haha, I personally see him as the spiritual Tom Segura. 

Edited June 2, 2017 by beatlemantis

[Shin]

Nofap can have or not have lots of benefits.

The one benefit that everyone has though, is the constant sexual energy flowing in your body.
After 3/4 weeks, if you don't have some purpose to channel it, you will crave pussies like a drug addict.

This has the advantage to give you the most powerful energy there is, which is sexual energy, and you can do whatever the fuck you want with it.

Try to meditate while you're so horny that you think your balls will explode.
That's a powerful moment, especially if you can move the energy in all your body.

It's not just about being able to control yourself, it's also about being fucking epic at what you do.

[jse]

Nofap can result in blocked male fallopian tubes.  You need to keep the plumbing going, or you end up with a backed up colon.
Or something like that.

[Alex4]

13 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

@Alex4 Because of such abstract answers people get confused(me included).Can you please develop your answer?

when you are masturbating you could use that time for something more productive = waste of time

when you come off you lose energy for the rest of the day = waste of energy

[Ryan_047]

@jse Are you a doctor?

[jse]

3 hours ago, Ryan_047 said:

@jse Are you a doctor?

Indeed I am.
I have a doctorate in the field of erroneous life choices.

[Lai]

On 6/3/2017 at 5:48 AM, jse said:

Nofap can result in blocked male fallopian tubes.  You need to keep the plumbing going, or you end up with a backed up colon.
Or something like that.

"male fallopian tubes", are they above the mangina?
Dr José and his unique knowledge of human anatomy... 

 

Edited June 4, 2017 by Lai

[wavydude]

@jse You're body takes care of that by itself, you simply have a wet dream.

Edited June 3, 2017 by wavydude

[Ryan_047]

@jse Lol