Afraid To Work!!

[abigailwornesable]

A lot of things in my life has changed I've moved house to a completely new area far away from everything I've ever known or anyone I know other than my partner... we are in the process of buying a house but ever since I've come here I got into a very good job that would have taken me into a go future path but I didn't feel mentally ready to take on all the pressure that came with, I because very unhappy and I left I then panicked to find another job in a completely different field and I hated it! I latest a week and I left. I have now applied for tones of jobs and have had 5 interviews in the past week and have had some job offers, I have to work to pay for the house were moving into but I've got to the point where I am terrified to go to work and to be stuck in a full time job for the rest of my life (I know everyone has to work to pay the bills ect but I've been in the education my whole life and now it's like is this it?) 

I feel so lost and understand I have to take a job but I'm terrified that I'm going to start and hate it like the others, waking up everyday with anxiety! This is a big commitment we're taking on and I just want it to be ok and me be content in a job! Please help because I'm really struggling to get out of this mindset!!

[Leo Gura]

What do you actually want your life to look like?

Why do you hate those jobs?

Get very clear and specific. No vague, bullshitty answers. Contemplate deeply here!

P.S. Buying a house when you don't have your work situation handled is a terrible strategic move. If you can still back out of the house purchase, that might be wise. I always try to keep my financial commitments as low as possible, so I have room to change my life. If you lock yourself into a bunch of stuff: house, marriage, kids, expensive car, job, etc. You're gonna have very few options.

[Dan Arnautu]

@abigailwornesable Even a shitty job, you don't have to see it as permanent. It will be hard, yes, but your only option may be to work a shitty one for a while and also work in your free time towards transitioning out. 

You could for example live below your means until you accumulate about 6 months worth of expenses and use that as a catapult towards the life you want. Don't get into the trap of wanting it NOW, NOW, NOW. You are in a tough situation, but creating a great life takes more than a few weeks or months.

Try and be more strategic with your life. Think long term and make short term and midterm goals towards achieving what you want.

[abigailwornesable]

Thankyou for the advise! My head feels so confused at this moment... I appreciate the fact that something has to give and well the house is something we cannot now back out of and in fact it's something that I feel will be a positive effect as i will see results and there will be some form of consistency where there hasn't currently been in my living arrangements. I've decided I need to take a step back and go into a job where im familiar and comfortable, with as little pressure so that's the type of job I've gone for... what the biggest struggle for me at the moment is dealing with that confusion of what's making me not want to go to work and why am I feel an anxious feeling everyday knowing I'm going to work and not being content! It really is frustrating as I want to work and can't stand sitting around but there something ( a trigger) that is making me feel those awful feelings and I don't know what it is!  

How can I narrow this down and understand these feelings? 

[Dan Arnautu]

@abigailwornesable Your feelings most likely stem from not being aligned with your life purpose. 

Do you feel like tap dancing to work everyday? Do you make an impact with your work? Would you be happy doing what you do for the rest of your life?

Remember, a comfortable life doesn't necessarily mean a happy life. If your work is not your greatest passion and doesn't bring you the greatest joy; if you wouldn't do what you do even if you weren't paid for it, then your work is not aligned with your life purpose.

How do you find your life purpose? Leo has a course on this.

Also, I think what Leo says about the house acquisition is right. You think buying a house would bring you more stability, but counterintuitively, it may bring you more instability, because you will have to pay for it for the next 10, 20, 30 years and you may always have it in the back like an itch you can't scratch if you are unsure you can make the payments every month.

Leo makes a 6-7 figure income and still hasn't bought a house even though he easily could. Think about that.

Edited June 1, 2017 by Dan Arnautu

[abigailwornesable]

See_on_you 

Thankyou for the response and reading this back now I feel as if my vision is so clear so everything you said totally makes sense...

I've only just seen this comment on my post and well reading back on my post I should have clarified further on my situation at the time, my partner and I moved into his fathers house while we was waiting to move into our own house... I am out of that situation and in my own house, I can now reflect back and see some of the reasons why I felt so stuck. The biggest reason was the environment I was in (practically living in a strangers house) which looking back that had a massive effect on the way I was feeling and how my vision was at the time because in some cases I felt trapped not only at work because I didn't feel happy in the job but I wasn't happy at home and also had no excape as the area was completely new to me which spiralled into a wave of negative emotions and energy which caused me to be stuck like you said and feeling like I had no purpose. On the flip side 3 months later despite having a house which is a big commitment I do feel like I am in a much positive and stable position because the environment I am in is my own... also I have taken a step back in my career to get my confidence up again and to do that I had to go back into my comfort zone. I have changed many daily habit to try and cleanse myself rather than focusing on the negatives. Overall I feel a much happier person and feel much better about going to work as I know this job is not forever it's just part of the process, again as I look back I feel as if the environment I was in unsettled me the most however i now feel as if I'm ready to take the first steps to the career I'd like to be in which has taken some time to figure out, but In someways I feel like a changed person and that I am finding my life purpose a little bit more everyday.

p.s I have to say reading in these forums and watching Leo's videos have seriously helped me through this transition and continues to help my mindset.

[Sevi]

@abigailwornesable I think except having a child, none of the other stuff is permanent or irreversible, they are just choices that you made once for -relatively- long term. They are not your life sentence.

It's about knowing what we want, and having guts to move to  that direction; cleaning out every single thing out on that way. Not an easy thing but better than that miserable feeling on our death bed knowing that at least we could have tried, but we didn't.

I think it's all about training our psyche to handle tough decisions and handling the consequences of it.