Seems Like I'm In Hell

[nightrider1435]

The inside is completely different now, but the outside is still the old reality. It hasn't caught up yet, but I have to be OK with it. Things will change and I don't know how, but I have to be patient with myself. My old ego tricks do not work like they use to anymore. I can't run from myself, its impossible now. It seems like I'm climbing up the stairway to heaven, whenever I fall back down a couple stairs I get right back up. I'm hiking through the rain forest of my mind with a machete, occasionally I get tangled up in the branches but not for long. There is no one in the driver seat anymore, and there is no looking back, it just can't be allowed at this point. Everything is just so goddamn vivid and beautiful. There is a dam holding back love but it's slowly starting to trickle through, seems like it could fully come down at any time now. I've been sucked back in some old destructive ways but deep down I know I will never stop the hero's journey. I'm on it for the rest of my life, and its just really getting started. This is just where I've been at lately, wanted to share. 

[Shin]

[Dodo]

Promise me guys, when we become Voltron-God we create existence where we have 1 million times more than we need. We don't need the struggle game  Come on guys, why do we need the struggle game. Let's scrap Maya altogether, I think very poor project. 

Trully Yours,
Brahman

[Pure Imagination]

I feel like I am somewhere similar to where you are at right now. I have had a couple meaningful awakening experiences these past few months and I feel like there is absolutely no turning back now. I have seen glimpses of the truth that cannot be unseen.

It can be frightening or uncomfortable at times, but those are the times that motivate me to inquire even deeper. Those uncomfortable experiences are short glimpses of my ego still at work trying to make sense of what I saw during my awakening experiences. Always continue to look deeper. With deep enough inquiy, I am always able to come to the conclusion that the perceiver doesn't exist. That shuts up the mind real good

[nightrider1435]

@Pure Imagination Yep yep yep. I have had glimpses that cannot be unseen in the past couple months. It has been pretty uncomfortable but I'm starting to come around to just loving it, there is no other way. The monkey mind won't shut up about it haha. I haven't been doing inquiry enough I admit but when I do it can go deep... Basically who the fuck am I!?!?!?!? I had a pretty good glimpse of nothingness the other night when I was listening to Leo's guided inquiry. I need to start inquiring every day but I'm just a lazy mofo still. 

@Dodo For real though, why do we all project the struggle game so much... Haha

 

 

 

Edited June 1, 2017 by nightrider1435

[Shin]

The monkey mind likes to think the big shift will occurs in a epic retreat in the mountain, sit on front the valley, tears of joy and shit.

When in reality, it has much more chance to happen when you're on the toilet taking a dump ...

 

Edited June 1, 2017 by Shin

[Azrael]

Beautifully put.

[nightrider1435]

@Shin Sounds about right haha

[AstralProjection]

Hang in there NR, not only will the rewards will be great but the journey will be worth it.

[nightrider1435]

@AstralProjection There is light at the end of the tunnel.

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Shin said:

The monkey mind likes to think the big shift will occurs in a epic retreat in the mountain, sit on front the valley, tears of joy and shit.

When in reality, it has much more chance to happen when you're on the toilet taking a dump ...

When I had my first glimpse, the sun was setting, god-rays where shooting through the clouds, and even a little deer ran through the grassy meadow.

[nightrider1435]

@John Flores These higher forms of consciousness do that to protect us I think. You don't want to jump from level one to 100 overnight. I naively thought I wanted to already be at level 100 in the beginning of my journey but I know better now. The universe is changing for me when it knows I'm ready, but like you said I still have clouds to clear up.

[nightrider1435]

@John Flores Damn that all makes so much sense to me. The universe is starting to clear up, and the beauty of it took me by surprise. Totally feel off the edge of my seat. Microdosing is something I've been wanting to try for a while now. I just want to test that out on a weekend first before I try microdosing before work on a weekday haha.