Scared To Meditate Because Of Panic Attack

[Max_V]

As the title says I have been experiencing really frightening panic attacks. When I meditate I force myself to face these issues that create the panic attacks, but I feel like it is only cultivating these attacks.

My question is what can I do to get past all this? I know I should see this as a challenge and that the only sane way is to accept and observe, but these attacks are just so incredibly painful, I don't know what to do. When I'm in the middle of it, observing just seems so hard.

[Echoes]

Look why the panic arises. What are you afraid of? But don't settle with intellectual, rational assumptions. You have to go to the very emotional core of it. That actually feels very counterintuitive to do (atleast for me) because you will find a lot of resistance, the resistance and emotional energy are like signposs leading you directly to the core. It's nothing more than resistance against something. What are you resisting? look deeply.

Also: 

 

[Visionary]

Your underlying intention is to "accept and observe" in order to overcome that feeling. That is the first tricky mistake. Don't try to overcome it! Your ego is a master at self sabotaging.

Try to extend that painful feeling while observing. Don't want it to go away!

The thing is: you have started this whole path to overcome this panic disorder. That is a huge mistake. Don't try to overcome it. Really accept it...like you're prepared to live with it and love it until your last day. Stop battling it. "Accepting and observing" is your way of trying to overcome it. Really loving/accepting it is NOT the same as tolerating or overcoming it.

 

This shit is very nuanced man.

Edit:

Well it's not a huge mistake, i was a bit overreacting. But I have tried accepting my anxiety problems actively for more than a year, until i was like: FUCK THIS SHIT. I'm giving up. I won't battle it anymore. I'm sick and tired of it. That's when i REALLY started to accept it, counterintuitively. So you can try until you reach that point. Won't be a very pleasant road though. Just surrender mate. Contemplate your intentions. And just surrender the battle.

 

Edited May 31, 2017 by Visionary

[Visionary]

So please remember: it's not about tolerating. And by the way: the Neti-Neti method has helped me BIG TIME with my emotions.

[Max_V]

@Visionary 

My first intention 2 years ago ofcourse was to relieve anxiety and become peaceful, centered

Now after this little while my motivation is completely different. I want to grow my consciousness and fix the problems I've created in my younger years. I want to walk this path that leads to Truth.

1 month ago these fears started to bubble up and that's when the panic attacks and the increased anxiety started. This is hopefully just another process where I will come out with growth. 

Thanks for the tips all of you, I will study them and try to apply them.

[Leo Gura]

@Max_V Contemplate the source of the fear. Why is it there? What are you really afraid of? What are you hiding?

Fears need to be made conscious and then faced. Facing a fear blindly isn't so good.