Fear Of Judgement

[Guest Annetta]

Some steps to work through this?

[Visitor]

Fear of judgement points to the fear of being found out what you fear to know, or accept, about yourself.

So the idea is to be become fully acquainted with, and accepting of, yourself.  So that you no longer have any secrets, denials, or fears of exposure. 

Here are a few suggestions to achieving this:

1. Get an school exercise book for writing in.
2. Make a list of what you like about yourself. Write at least 10. This list will be your safety net. It needs to be completed before any other step. 
3. Then make a list of what you don't like about yourself.
4. To search further and deeper for those we have hidden in denial and secret closets, write a short note history. Use one page for every year of your life. Spend no more or less than one day per year. That is, if you are twenty years old, be prepared to spend 20 days on this project.
   1. Write down every significant fear you have in your life (resentments, regrets, hates, angers, and any other fear related experience of significance).
   2. Only write a short note on each one (no longer than a page line). It only needs to jolt your memory. No stories needed.
   3. If you can't recall a particular age, think of where you were, school grade, job, friends, seasons, holidays.
   4. Take a pad and pen with you wherever you go, because things will just pop in your head while doing something else.
   5. Be prepared to feel negative, embarrassed, guilty, sad, angry, and all other expressions of fear. This is okay, this is good, because your secrets and denials are surfacing. You are the judgement of yourself now, so be merciful to yourself.
5. After you finished your list, then be prepared to tell somebody else about it. Pick somebody you can trust or somebody that is prepared to hear your list...like a priest (even if you are not religious, it is at least somebody who will listen, and no longer have to see again). This step is vital. It gets rid of all your secrets. It is a very liberating feeling to have no secrets.
6. Then burn that exercise book, because you no longer need it, for you already know what was in it. Also, it's content, read by a significant other who has never done such an exercise, could pass a judgement on their self, or you, and no longer wish to be significant to you. Divorces have happened with such lists. So get rid of the list after you finish with it.
7. Remember, this list and exercise is ONLY between you, one other person, and God/Truth.

This exercise comes from Step 4 and 5 of the Twelve Step Program. It is very powerful healer of held in fears. Step 10 maintains the clean house.

I have done a few Steps 4 and 5, each one discovered more and more subtle fears within me. Step 10 is a daily Step 4 and 5.

If you do this exercise thoroughly, then there will be no fear of judgement, because you know what is true about yourself. If someone makes a negative judgement about you, you can assess what is true. If it is true, you will either say, "yes I know", or "thank you for telling me something I have not yet seen". If it is not true, then you know it is most likely a misunderstanding, or a reflection of the person making the judgement. In either case, you are not afraid of being judged.

 

[Nahm]

@Annetta mentally, there is no assertion. You experience judgment because you judge. You judge because you hold beliefs that there is something that exists called judgement, when really, the whole concept is merely something in your mind that you are feeding and keeping alive.