Eezy's Life Purpose Journal

[Extreme Z7]

INTRODUCTION

Several months ago, I started a journal here called Upgrading to the Maximum Level In Life. It lasted for only a few months before I stopped writing in it. Now, several months later, I realized why. I tried to make a daily commitment with a lack of true focus on what I actually wanted out of it. I saw it as 'Personal Development Journal' but I wasn't really focused on what I was doing, personal-development-wise, at the time. I was basically still at a phase where I was gathering self-help theory mainly from Leo's videos without really having a main vision or goal yet. So what happened was that writing every entry felt tedious because I usually didn't feel like I was writing about something I was excited about. So eventually I just stopped...

However, over the last several months or so, I found myself slowly realizing a deep passion that I'm still struggling to fully express. I don't feel like I'm even close to 1% of embodying my deepest passions and motivations. Of course, I'm talking about Life Purpose.

Right now, I actually have three different passions that are driving me, Drawing, Music Production, and Game Development. The problem with having multiple life purposes is that it's very hard to fully focus on a single project and really get good work done in any one field. Recently, I kind of decided that Game Development was going to be my main life purpose whereas the other two are going to be my 'lesser' life purposes. However, I find that sense of vision is still not crystal clear and that I really need to focus and contemplate more to gain a much bigger for what I want in my life and what I want to do with it.

So, in the hopes of improving my sense of ultimate purpose in life. I decided to start this journal about my Life Purpose. Every evening, I will write about what I did during the day to pursue my life purpose further, even if I made it only a slug's tiptoe length for the day.

(I haven't bought Leo's Life Purpose yet as I still live my parents and I don't have a job but it's on my wishlist, alright...)

So. . . I'm going to start by assessing my current situation

Right now I have two ongoing serious creative projects:

1. A 2D Platformer Game Project Made In Unity
2. A Daily Drawing Habit because why not?

I've also been trying to get myself to make more music but I can't seem to motivate myself to find the time even though I love making music more than drawing.

What I want to accomplish with this journal:

1. Gain a clearer picture of where I'm currently at with Life Purpose
2. Gain a clearer picture of what I want to do with my life
3. Gain more high quality motivation and improve my level of commitment as I write about my accomplishments for the day
4. Gain some help from the community here on Actualized.org

I'll be writing my first entry later this evening. Unlike when I was writing my last journal, this time I have an actual clear goal. Here's to hoping I don't mess it up.

Edited May 29, 2017 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

MAY 29, 2017

Today was a tough day. Had to deal with some stressful situations in college regarding my upcoming thesis defense. Problems with scheduling it, lack of feedback from my adviser, bla bla bla Anyway, that has nothing to do with my life purpose but it has become a huge distraction for me that I've been working to get rid ever since I started doing personal development.

Anyway, these are the things I managed to accomplish today:

• Spent about 3 hours total coding my current game project, KzzzZZZzzT! I mostly worked on algorithms that make certain animations in the World Map part of the game. Pretty neat stuff, can't wait to show it off.
• I occasionally spent a few minutes reading an e-book on my phone about game design "Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford"
• Spent about half hour or so working on a new sprite for the game that will be used in the World Map as well.
• This is one of the buildings of the World Map of the game. Here is a sketch I made of what I want the whole thing to look like:
• Finally, I watched a couple of videos from a free course on how to make trance music, the first one was about the drum loop and the second was about the bassline. I still haven't absorbed everything from the two videos because electronic music production is such a complex field even from the basics. However, I took notes on what I learned

What I plan to accomplish for tomorrow:

• Spend as much time coding as possible
• Draw another digital sprite of one of the World Map buildings
• Watch the 3rd tutorial on the Trance Music course
• Continue reading more from "Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford". Preferably, the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning.

That's the plan, shouldn't forget that this is more important than chocolate.

[Extreme Z7]

MAY 30, 2017

Another really busy day, barely had time to take any kind of nap today. I usually don't take naps but I've been forcing myself recently to try to combat my workaholism issue. But this journal ain't about workaholism so I'm not going to say more about that.|

These are the things I managed to accomplish today:

• Spent about an hour and a half working on my game project. One of the things I worked on was an algorithm that allows me to make my own custom rotation animation. Unfortunately, it mostly works but acts strange sometimes so it's still technically broken. Gotta fix that some other time.
• Finished drawing a new base sprite for one of the buildings in the World Map of my game. It still needs a bit more detail, though. Took me about 45 minutes
• 
• Finished watching the 3rd video on a free Trance Music Production course.
• Read about 4 more pages into "Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford".

What I plan to accomplish for tomorrow:

• Spend as much time working on my game as possible (Minimum: 1 hour)
• Draw another digital sprite of one of the buildings of my World Map project. Preferably the floating Space Station.
• Watch the 4th tutorial on the Trance Music Production Course.
• Read as much as I can from "Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford". Preferably, the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning.
• (Optional) Gather information on what the hell a "Vocoder" is.

That's my report for tonight. I should really remember that tomorrow, I assassinate President Trump!

Edited May 30, 2017 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

MAY 31, 2017

Damn, really really busy today. I've got a thesis defense tomorrow and I have not yet done preparing for it yet. It's 8:30 pm and I'm getting sleepy. I really hope I finish this soon so I can have what may be a really relaxing sleep especially compared to how I feel right now. I had so much to do today that I only managed to accomplish half of the Life Purpose goals I set up for myself yesterday.

But anyway, here's an overall report on what I got done and also what I didn't get done.

• Wasn't able to work on my game at all, at least not coding wise
• I was still able to spend the time to build that space station I mentioned yesterday. Took me just well over an hour to make.
• 
• Still was able to get a good amount of reading done from 'The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford'
• Was not able to find the time to watch those video tutorials I wanted to yesterday

Fortunately, after my defense, there isn't going to be much non-Life Purpose workload left so I'll be more likely to accomplish what I've got planned for tomorrow. Which is...

• Spend that 1 hour (or more) I wanted coding more on my game project
• Draw the Land part of the world map sprites. It's going to take a bit longer than the other buildings because it's more complex
• Watch those tutorials I wanted to watch today but wasn't able to
• Read more! Read more! It's good.

Man, I really hope that tomorrow, Bill Gates gets hexed by peeing on a leprechaun.

Edited May 31, 2017 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

JUNE 1, 2017 - Thursday

*sigh* Defense got moved to Monday. And I got so worked up and sleep deprived last night. Oh well, at least I got some stuff I wanted to do done today. Not all of it but still good work. I was mostly busy on college work today.

Here's the stuff I got done and also stuff I wasn't able to do:

• Spent about an hour coding my game project. The session could have been more efficient but I got good work done.
• Didn't draw the Land/Ground part of my game's World Map like I mentioned yesterday. I just didn't feel like I wanted to. Instead, I decided I was gonna do some sketching practice instead. Check it, drew a couple of perspective-based practice drawings:
  • 
  • Credit for the idea goes to Barrington Barber with his book, "The Fundamentals of Drawing"
• Did not spend the time to watch the videos I mentioned in my goals yesterday. Hopefully I can by tomorrow.
• Didn't spend any time to read. Sucks.

What to do, oh, what to do for tomorrow?

• Spend more time coding my game, obviously. One hour minimum
• Watch the video I missed for today
• Read, gotta goddamn read.
• Do the drawing that I originally wanted for today.

What a busy day, I have this gut feeling that tomorrow, smartphones will gain sentience and take over the world!

 

(actually, they may already have done so. what with the mass distraction and what not.)

[Extreme Z7]

JUNE 2, 2017 - Friday

Man, I'm exhausted. Did so much walking from place to place today because of some stuff I had to deal with. Interestingly though, at one point, while waiting for somebody, I decided to wander off and lie at an old bench under a tree and just lay there staring at the sky. It was quite relaxing actually and I ended up contemplating a bit and asking what the purpose of life really is about. Not life purpose, the purpose of life... Anyway.

Stuff I got done today

• Got 2 hours of coding work today on my game project. I only wanted 1 hour minimum because I had a lot of other stuff to do but I ended up getting really focused in my work.
• Here's what I done drew today. Took me about an hour and 20 minutes.
• 
• Didn't manage to watch those videos I mentioned yesterday (again)
• Actually got a bit of reading done. Nearly finished with "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford"

What I gotz to do tomorrow: (I'm gonna be really busy with college work tomorrow so I'm going to lower my standards a bit)

• Do more game project coding. A minimum goal of half an hour.
• Draw the 'Slime Canal' part of the World Map of my game
• (Optional) Watch those videos I wanted to watch yesterday. If I can't, then try to do it tomorrow again.
• Read more from "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford"

After all that has happened today, I really hope that tomorrow, zzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZ!

[Extreme Z7]

JUNE 3, 2017 - Saturday
My busy college work schedule is motivated by fear.This is not how I want to live. That's why I started this journal.

What I Dog Dang done today:

• Got more coding work done. About an hours worth of work successfully completed.
• I drew some flowing slime for my game's World Map. Took me about half an hour.
• 
• Didn't get much of anything else done. Not even reading. Oh well. . .

What to do, oh! What to do tomorrow:

• More coding! More coding! Minimum of 30 mins...still got a lot of college work to do tomorrow.
• Going to draw something really small tomorrow because I'm feeling like I want to give myself more time get my college stuff done
• Maybe finally watch the videos from that Trance Music Tutorial. or maybe not.
• Continue reading "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford", hopefully

Busy day tomorrow, I can sense it. It's gonna be Balloon Day tomorrow and I gotta get prepared!

Edited June 4, 2017 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

JUNE 4, 2017 - Sunday

Really busy right now. Working on a thesis paper I need to submit by tomorrow. I'm going to make this entry quick.

• Did not have the time to spend coding. Turned out I really needed more time to finish my college thesis. Hopefully by tomorrow, I'd have a lot more time.
• Here's the only thing I drew today:
  
• Did not get much of anything else done regarding Life Purpose.

What I want to do tomorrow.

• I don't know yet, to be honest. I'll try to decide tomorrow.

Am I working too hard or too little? Guess I'll know on tomorrow's Dead Plant Parade!

[Extreme Z7]

JUNE 5, 2017 - Monday

Oh man, I'm so close to graduating right now. I just have one last requirement to pass tomorrow. This will really free up a lot of time I can spend pursuing my life purpose. But today, I was still very busy with my college work. Just one more day...

Anyway, all I made today was this:

Hoping to start getting more Life Purpose stuff done by tomorrow.

Are the most recent entries too short? Well don't fret, because tomorrow we all lose our eyeballs!

[Extreme Z7]

June 7, 2017 - Wednesday

It's official, I'm graduating by the end of the month. All those years I spent in college to get passing grades have finally paid off. . . . And it feels empty. . . D'oh well!. . . . Time to get back to my Life Purpose.

On another note, I am aware that I forgot to write yesterday's entry.

What have I doooooonnne??!!!!

• Spent about 2 hours or so working on my game. (Actually, I can't tell because I sort of lost track of time)
• Finally finished all the World Map sprites which I have been working on about the same time I started this journal.
• Finally completed reading "The Art of Computer Game Design by Chris Crawford". I've got my eye on "Meditations by Marcus Aurelius" as my next book to read.
• I actually did find the time to watch a video on the basics of a Music Vocoder. It was really cool, I wonder why I haven't learned about it until now.

What am I going to Doooooo???!!! (tomorrow)

• Get to work drawing the background of the first area of the game
• Spend more time coding in my game project. Minimum goal: 2 hours.
• (Optional) Start reading the 'Meditations of Marcus Aurelius'
• Get back to watching those Trance Music Tutorial videos. Preferably, multiple of them.

Quite the amount of progress I've made over the last week, I can't wait to see how tomorrow will CEASE TO EXIST!!!

Edited June 7, 2017 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

June 8, 2017 - Thursday

Business as usual today. Because I no longer have much college work, I've had a lot of time to work on my Life Purpose. Although I did go out with my family to go shopping so that did eat up a significant chunk of my time. Still, it was good and I enjoyed it.

"Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today"

• Hmm. . . I forgot how much time I spent working on my game project today. Uhhhmm.. let's just say I spent about more than an hour, I guess.
• Did some drawing but I didn't finish any so I'm not going to show any progress.
• Check out a preview of the World Map I made:
• Got some more reading done. No, not any important books that I need to read. Just this book I read for entertainment.
• Haven't been able to find the time to watch any Music Tutorial videos

"Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow"

I want tomorrow to be a "break day" so I'm going to be working a bit less than I usually do

• (Optional) Do some more coding work on my game project
• As always, continue my daily drawing habit
• (Optional) Find the time to watch a Music Tutorial Video
• Find the time to start reading Marcus Aurelius's Meditations

OK, time to get to bed because tomorrow. . . AUGH! My blanket is trying to strangle me!

 

[Extreme Z7]

June 9, 2017 - Friday

As I mentioned yesterday, I wanted to have a bit of a break today so I didn't do as much work as I did yesterday. But I had some work done nonetheless. Well. . . only one drawing. So, not really that much.

It's the background of one of the levels of the game.

Here's what I got planned for tomorrow.

• Get back to coding. Hopefully, I could reach a minimum of 2 hours of work
• Continue drawing more art for my game
• Actually start reading The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius this time
• Find the time to watch at least one Music Production-related tutorial

Gotta sleep well because tomorrow the police will eat my brains!

[Extreme Z7]

June 10, 2017 - Saturday

Pretty smooth day today, I spent a lot of time coding and now I'm taking a break by playing random indie games I find on the internet. A lot of them are bland but there are some really creative hidden gems out there and I want to find them.

Anyway, what did you today, Jimmy?

• I spent, I think almost 3 hours. doing coding work on my game. Although, the bulk of the time was spent trying to fix this one problem. Pretty annoying but I'm glad I got it done.
• I did some digital art work on a tileset that will be used in my game project. Although it's not finished so I don't want to post it here yet.
• Managed to get a little reading done on the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. A little. . . as in, I haven't made it out of the introduction yet.
• Didn't find the time to watch a new Music Production-related tutorial yet.

`Tomorrow tomorrow.

• Spend more time coding for my game project. Minimum goal of 1 hour.
• Do more drawing for my game project. Minimum goal of 1 hour
• And the other stuff. . .

Too tired to do any more work today. That coding problem really bugged me and tired me out, tomorrow I wish to shake hands with Slenderman.

Edited June 11, 2017 by Extreme Z7
Wrong day of the week.

[Extreme Z7]

June 11, 2017 - Sunday

I've gotten a jolt to really focus on my game project as I feel that it really is in connection with my Life Purpose. I still haven't pinpointed what my Life Purpose really is and I still haven't taken Leo's course but my intuition is telling me that this is something I want to spend part of my life's effort on.

What are thou doing in there?

• Today I spent somewhere around 3-4 hours doing game work. I don't know, I lost track of time, I really should get a stopwatch or something.
• Decided to spend some time working on a tileset that I will use in the game. Pretty proud of the result but it isn't fully complete yet as I'm still going to be adding more tiles to it.
  
• Read some more from the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. I even took a little bit of notes. Although I must admit that I had a bit of difficulty trying to follow some of the parts of the book.
  
  What art thou going to do tomorrow?
• More game design/coding work. Minimum goal of 2 hours. Desired goal of 3 hours.
• More art/drawing work. Minimum goal of 1 hour.
• Read some more, learn some more

I'm feeling pretty motivated. Tomorrow will be The Day Jesus Christ Returns!

[Extreme Z7]

June 12, 2017 - Monday

I want to make more music but I've been so caught in all my other desires. I'll be looking into possibly replacing my daily drawing habit with a daily music production practice habit. I still don't know when yet but I will at some point. I still love drawing but I've learned that I love to make music more.

Hey Linus, what're you doin'?

• Spent close to 4 hours doing coding/level design work on my game project and I'm still planning to do some more tonight before I go to bed.
• Did some more digital art work for the game. I can't remember how much time I spent on it.
• Read some more from The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. I have to admit that I find the book's jargon to be hard to follow. Trying my best to absorb as much as I can but I keep getting lost.

Linus, you blockhead! You've got stuff to do tomorrow!

• More game work!
• More drawing!
• More reading!
• (Optional) And maybe also some music stuff. . .

Am I too lazy or too busy? I can't tell. Maybe tomorrow I'll find Barack Obama dead in my backyard. . .

and I was the one who killed him. . .

[Veggies]

I like those pictures.

[Extreme Z7]

June 13, 2017 - Tuesday

Felt pretty lazy today but I still did my daily work. I also managed to find the time to not only watch a video on Music Production but also to practice a bit more. As I mentioned in my previous entry, I would rather have a daily music practice habit than a daily drawing habit. But I still like my drawing so that's probably going to stay for a while.

Whad'dya make for dinner today, hun?

• A little bit of coding/level design work in my game project. Spent about 2 hours I think.
• Only spent half an hour working on the artwork for my game.
• Spent 15 minutes watching a tutorial video on the basics of a Trance Bassline.
• Didn't find the time to read from the current book I'm reading however.

Time for bed, sweety. . .

• I want to do much of the same work I did today but better. Shouldn't be too hard to beat.
• I also want to make sure that I get into the groove of practicing the art of music production by actually practicing the art of music production. My music practice for the past two years have been pretty inconsistent and that's probably why It's taking me so long to really improve unlike how much I've improved with drawing (Although admittedly, I'm still an amateur there too).
• Oh yeah, and some reading as well.

Today was just okay, I wonder if tomorrow I find out that I'm actually a shark using a computer!

 

[Extreme Z7]

June 14, 2017 - Wednesday

Another day, another tiny step has been made. Actually it's more like a shuffle, or maybe just a slight bend forward, I guess.

I shot another duck today

• Spent about 2 and half hours mainly on level design work on my game project
• Worked on a background for the game
• Read a bit more from "The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius". I really have a hard time following the book's type of language so I've tried reading a summary of it. I'll probably taking more notes based on the summary rather than the actual book.
• Spent some more time learning and practicing the basics of Trance music. I ain't perfect but I've become more and more focused on learning more than just making a good track.

I wonder how many ducks I will shoot tomorrow

• Still have a lot of work to do in my game project and I'd like to keep moving forward but I feel that I'm going to need a serious break soon.
• Draw some more art for the game as usual. I've even renamed the 'Textures' folder in my game project to 'Art'
• Read some more from the book I'm reading and take more notes
• Practice more Trance Music Production in order to 'git good'

Tomorrow Hahaa! Thought I'd write something weird and nonsensical again today, did you? Well, you're wrong!

[Extreme Z7]

June 16, 2017 - Friday

I encountered some very serious internal emotional problems today, mostly stress and lack of motivation but I managed to push through and do just the average level of work performance than I usually exhibit in a day. I think part of it might be coming from a subconscious desire to become enlightened. But the busy nature of my schedule is preventing me from pursuing enlightenment very seriously. I tried facing the desire directly but I also encountered fear of neglecting my work. Oooh well. . . speaking of which. . .

How was work today, dear?

•     Spent about 2 hours (I think) doing more work on my game project. Mostly coding today.
•     I drew a new but simplistic enemy design
  
•     Not much else done today but I may do some reading before going to bed.

What are you going to do tomorrow, dear?

•     I want to do the same routine tomorrow but hopefully I am able to better handle the difficult emotions I experienced today, if any.

Is this journal helping me? I'm not fully sure but I'm not willing to give up on it yet. What I am sure of is that tomorrow is not Saturday because I say so!

[Extreme Z7]

June 17, 2017 - Saturday

Today felt pretty smooth. Nothing too troubling and I managed to get stuff done. I encountered a few troubling emotions over the past week although that is to be expected when you spend most of your time in a closed room. Hardly higher consciousness living but I'm taking babysteps.

Today, what was done, did I?

• Spent about 3 hours working some more on my game project. Mostly on the animation shown below.
  
• I also spent a fair amount of time drawing more digital art for the game.
• Finished Chapter 3 of the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Although because I have difficulty really following the book because of how it's written. Most of my notes were copied directly from a book summary.

Tomorrow, what is to be done?

• My goal for tomorrow is much of the same for today. Today was good and I want tomorrow to be just as good.

Tomorrow can be seen through the crystal ball which I totally have.