Is Being An Asshole Ever An Effective Means Of Communication?

[Guest username]

I am interested in being a more effective communicator.

I found that I personally like a bit of being triggered and talking to people who can put me off emotionally since it forces me to reflect on myself and what disturbs me.

I know it's generally not considered acceptable to be an asshole to strangers, but if you have rapport with people, can it be an effective way of getting your message across, or will you just spark needless drama?

For instance, on the forum, I like it when Leo is sort of brash with his responses because when I get triggered, I have an opportunity to do consciousness work, however, I feel like if I communicated in a similar fashion, I'd just come across as arrogant and off-putting, presumably due to not having the same status.

I know zen masters can be huge dicks to their students, but is it at all effective if someone like me, who isn't really that developed, communicates in that way?

Part of me is thinking it could be good under the right circumstances, the other part of me is saying that I should wait until I'm older, wiser and more developed since I'd just end up looking like a cocky kid who's being a dick, not someone who is being irreverent in a calculated, constructive manner. 

Should I stick to being more conservative and respectful, or be willing to be more adventurous and colorful in my speech?

[Guest username]

My title may be a bit misleading. I somewhat answered that for myself in the OP, but my real curiosities are detailed there.

[Guest username]

@Snick I didn't tell you to the leave forum, as in "get off an never come back." Don't take it like that. I was encouraging you to just take action since you've even admitted before that you think and talk too much instead of just sitting down and doing the work.

[Guest username]

7 hours ago, Snick said:

@username Interesting! In fact, assholes comes across as nice people to me. 

Why? Because, they didn't guard their behavior, there is honesty to it. Also, people who are looking to gain something from you never behaves like assholes.

There is something secure in that behavior. You mention status. That's is also interesting, people who like to gain status never come across like assholes either.

They are polite in a calculated way. People with HIGH status tend to not care about status, and that is probably why Leo sort of brash with his responses from time to time. 

 

7 hours ago, Snick said:

But don't claim to be innocent of this! You behave like an asshole to me a few times here. My interpretation was that you indirect told me to leave the forum. If you like be an asshole, at least kick some butts above your level of status here. Not the sad poor butt of mine!

How am I claiming to be innocent though? I don't pick on people, and I don't know that status dynamics or whatever, I was just theorizing about that as a factor in how acceptable certain behavior is. I know Leo obviously has more than anyone else as far as the forum goes.

7 hours ago, Snick said:

That is why Leo has the position he has. he is always polite to lowlives like us (even though I am more of a lowlife then you) but at the same time Leo can be a real douchebag to authorities or people above him in society. That's a hero right there! 

You seek out the lowest of all low souls me, and asshole me to the degree I almost lost my only social platform in life!  

 

[SOUL]

It's only effective to be an asshole when one is dealing with a piece of shit.

[Zane]

This is a fascinating topic to consider regarding communication! It seems like being an asshole with a blunt approach can have it's benefits and disadvantages. Being an asshole can reveal truths about society and how we can be so mired in complacency. A firebrand approach intimidates us and reveals how sensitive and weak we became. The asshole approach can be the most direct approach! However, EVERY technique can have it's weaknesses! The asshole approach could be dogmatic because it seems to assume that ALL people need a harsh approach or they're "too sensitive or whiny." The asshole approach could be demoralizing and only repel people even more. The asshole approach could also be completely outdated and too conservative and ignores the complexities of the situation and puts the blame on "laziness." Politeness can also be a major trap because of how it relies on sugarcoating, passive aggression and weasel words and it's not genuine because it focuses on protecting feelings rather than expressing yourself. I'm always seeking out outlets for self-expression and that's why I heavily use storytelling and poetry to convey myself raw and authentically. Taking on a Jester approach could be a new approach where you use comedy to communicate your points! In post-truth times, we need radical honesty more than anything and we need to listen to the jesters who cut through the bullshit. A great example of the asshole approach is in Donald Trump who claims to be a brutally honest straight shooter who "speaks his mind" but he spreads lies, false promises, and bile. He's just more direct rather than discrete about it! Trump can dish it out but can't take and blows everything up into feuds. 

[electroBeam]

@username yes of course There is

Being an asshole can be described as a behavioural trait where the individual acts as though he is entitled to more things than other individuals, or who break social rules deliberately, motivated out of pure high self esteem, and lack of regard for other parties involved.

Being an asshole can promote social status in some circumstances. Particularly where the individuals who you are targeting posses extreme materialistic desires, or who have an insecurity around their self worth.

Being an asshole can also persuade certain individuals to work harder in business.

Relevant readings:

The good psychopath's guide to success

 

Edited May 30, 2017 by electroBeam

[Nahm]

@username yes. Once and a while, when I notice I am losing my level of mindfulness, wakefulness....I ask my wife to slap me across the face as hard as she can. It wakes me right the fuck up and we both have a good laugh too. Skip the assholeness and jump to the slapping. Don't know till you try it.