Lost Supposedly Actualizing Friend

[The Monk]

Hey guys, Yesterday I went to a party there I encountered my friend who was also on a Actualizing path. He drank a lot and later got really drunk, but I drank nothing and smoked nothing. During the party he was forcing girls to hugging him, he was laughing hysterically and jumping on people and saying weird shit. The next day (which is today)  I advised him not to drink so much, to develop himself internally and externally, but he told me to stop and said he didn't like my vibes so, he said to me stop contacting me and unfriend him on Facebook so I did. Which was because I told him that although he was talking to people and approaching people that he was scared to approach before, it was not natural and the alcohol also alcohol harms you physically. Besides to be honest I think those kind of beliefs will cause him to have a reliance on alcohol, and thus I should just let go of him, he's left the path of self actualizing. 

What do you guys think?

 

[Guest username]

2 minutes ago, The Monk said:

he said to me stop contacting me and unfriend him on Facebook so I did.

It's over. Don't worry, he can make his own choices.

[The Monk]

@username Ok. But I'm still slightly concerned about his own well being 

[Guest username]

@The Monk That's fine, but he told you to leave him alone, and you aren't likely to change him. Consider that billions of people suffer around the world and are more open to being helped. If you're interested in helping people focusing on your own development and life purpose are likely to be more effective.

He can make his own choices, and it sounds like he wants nothing to do with you.

[The Monk]

@Leo Gura Can I get your view on this topic? 

[Arkandeus]

55 minutes ago, The Monk said:

Hey guys, Yesterday I went to a party there I encountered my friend who was also on a Actualizing path. He drank a lot and later got really drunk, but I drank nothing and smoked nothing. During the party he was forcing girls to hugging him, he was laughing hysterically and jumping on people and saying weird shit. The next day (which is today)  I advised him not to drink so much, to develop himself internally and externally, but he told me to stop and said he didn't like my vibes so, he said to me stop contacting me and unfriend him on Facebook so I did. Which was because I told him that although he was talking to people and approaching people that he was scared to approach before, it was not natural and the alcohol also alcohol harms you physically. Besides to be honest I think those kind of beliefs will cause him to have a reliance on alcohol, and thus I should just let go of him, he's left the path of self actualizing. 

What do you guys think?

 

there's only one thing that matters for me. where you reaching out for him out of a place of love or a place of ego and fear?  

that is the only deciding factor that should govern your behavior.  
If it's out of genuine love you can go around and scream and try to enlighten every single person you see and care about, if it's out of love then you are aligned with your higher self, and aligned with the universe itself and amazing things will unfold from that.  

if you tried to help him because you saw him last night and you were judging him and pitying him and you felt so much 'advanced' because you didn't drink and smoke nothing, so you felt like putting him straight then you will bring about a negative vibration of fear and ego.  

it's up to you to recognize when you're acting out of love and out of fear.  

I'd like to put my 2 cents, that change happens by love, you can't change someone by making them despise who they are right now.  
you tried to make him change by making him feel bad about his life right now, about the person that he is right now.  

there are other ways you can make people change, you could try to engage with him into a hobby, you could try to support him in his most dearest dreams and passions, try to get him more involved with his own personal passions.  
If you do that he will be more motivated about life and you'll see that from his own he will make decisions that are more healthy in regards to his life.  

don't try to help people with 'reasons' and 'logic', help them by making them feel good, the logic of the heart is the logic of the universe

if you want no war, be about peace.  
if you don't want your friends to be about unhealthy stuff, be about healthy stuff yourself, shine the example without judgement

 

 

Edited May 27, 2017 by Arkandeus

[The Monk]

@Arkandeus I don't understand please simplify this for me. I was laughing at him btw I didn't help him get home because I had to get home too. 

[Arkandeus]

14 minutes ago, The Monk said:

@Arkandeus I don't understand please simplify this for me. I was laughing at him btw I didn't help him get home because I had to get home too. 

I'd say it's about being really conscious about your intentions and what goes on inside when you're reaching out to others.  

Did you feel you were genuinely trying to help him or did you feel like you were more involved with your ego when you were talking to him?  
I certainly do not judge, it's from our mistakes that we learn, and maybe you were trying to really help him, and in that case you did amazing

[The Monk]

@Arkandeus No I didn't really help him I was thinking that I was on a higher level of consciousness and awareness, and that I was above him like on some kind of pedestal. So, truth be told I kept laughing and making fun of him with others. Because I thought he was a drunken fool and I was a wise conscious and highly aware person.

[Arkandeus]

1 minute ago, The Monk said:

@Arkandeus No I didn't really help him I was thinking that I was on a higher level of consciousness and awareness, and that I was above him like on some kind of pedestal. So, truth be told I kept laughing and making fun of him with others. Because I thought he was a drunken fool and I was a wise conscious and highly aware person.

it is a tragedy for everyone involved isn't it, for the laugh at another is to laugh at yourself.  
but at the same time it's grounds for an amazing lesson.  
I'm truly amazed in your honesty, that in itself shows you've already learned so much from this.  

I want to expand on that laughing to oneself thing because I've found out personally that it never really stops, you think you've learned so much with spirituality, then you learn amazing stuff again, and then you understand even bigger things, and each time your mind and perspective get expanded beyond your imagination...  
There is no limit, this is contact with infinite intelligent energy and expansion, as such is the nature of the universe.  

I say this only as an example, but let's say in 3 months you will have learned so much stuff and you'll look back at yourself now and think ''I was ignorant, I was a fool compared to now.''  

Then 6 months later, you feel this way again, this time towards the person you were 3 months later, ''wow and I thought I knew stuff, I was so ignorant''
then 9 months later you're so advanced you're again tempted to go back and ridicule the person you were.  

What I'm trying to say is that it never ends, if you judge someone's lower consciousness you will forever be judging your own lower consciousness as you evolve.  
There's infinity to evolve, there is no place of perfection, as such you can forever be busy with judging others and yourself included or you can let go.  

the ego is addicted to standing above others, it is a very powerful process, if we can respect the power of the ego, we can start to understand it, and not identify with it, we can start to dissipate it.  

now that I've stopped judging others,I've stopped judging myself, at least to a whole other degree.  
 

I can feel that you're very conscious of your actions, as such, you'll do great, this was a nice exchange

[Nahm]

@The Monk

Don't choose during a hangover next time.

Understand why he drinks.