Brotherhood

[whenastrangercalls]

Why do men lie to one another so much and why is it so difficult to build trust amongst straight men? Is it hunger and jealousy or is it egoism and selfishness?

In my domain I have found it difficult to find trustworthy guy friends who are not willing to follow the hurdles to reach the platform I find worthy of friendship. People need to come off their high horses and look at themselves straight and not hesitate to look back at one another and point fingers. I find this is a reoccuring situation for me and I'd like to know what I can do to improve it in the future...

 

I'm open to any questions people may have? 

[Christian]

@whenastrangercalls

It could be hunger or jealousy, but it is more likely egoism and selfishness. When you first meet someone new, it is difficult to trust them; you don't really know who they are as a person. If you meet someone for the first time, you would probably hesitate to share your life story because it is uncomfortable to open yourself up to rejection. Protecting ones ego and being selfish is completely natural in these new situations.

But if it is a recurring pattern in your life, maybe it is a sign that people do not trust you enough. Maybe you should be more patient and accept that people lie and are selfish for selfish reasons. That is how reality works when you are in relationships. Be compassionate and love people for who they are -- even when they lie to you. Love and compassion builds trust whereas judgement builds fear and distrust.

If you want to minimize the lying that is going on in your relationships, commit to someone. Dishonesty in relationships often comes from a fear of rejection or the consequences of being honest. Often these fears point to the fact that you have not spent nearly enough time with that person to develop strong trust in the first place.

[whenastrangercalls]

Hi Christian,

Those are some very clear and methodical points, I appreciate your feedback. I think you are right where you say we should go with our intuition in relationships and overcome some of the easier lies and tribulations we give each other because at the end of the day we are not the only people in each others lives and there are and may be people who stand in front of us in that relationship pole.

I'd like to add a little quote on here from Marianne Williamson;

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I wish everyone could let their own light shine, men, women and children. Would make the world a lot easier place to live in if you ask me.