On Destroying Your Comfort Zone: A Challenge To Your Inner Wuss

[Azrael]

In the last couple of weeks and months I'm feeling pretty good. Last year I went through a lot of purging and realizing and I feel like a lot of that is just out of me now. That's great. Because of that I re-viewed my life and looked out for things that are still missing (in my own opinion). So what did I come up with? I got pretty cool friends and we do a lot of nice stuff here in Berlin. I got a job that I love - working as a software engineer, my computer science studies go well, I travel, my spiritual journey goes naturally but I still kind of didn't feel the level of alpha integrity that I shoot for in this life.

+++ Background Information +++

Although I'm humorous, relaxed, cocky and good in conversations I don't have as much experience with girls and dating. That's just something I didn't really put my focus on in my youth and it always kind of slipped through my fingers. So I said, okay let's get that handled. I started looking into dating psychology when I was 15 and my mentor at that time (for business stuff) threw me on the street and had me do cold approaches.

So, I began reading up about personal integrity, the alpha-male, being a man, spoke to a good friend of mine who is a very successful mentalist and former pick-up-artist and read a very good book on the topic and watched videos. On the practical side I started dating girls, practised and still do to this day. It's fun and I love it. I can see how it adds the missing piece to my integrity -- or at least to the experience that I should make right now.

When I began doing this I re-watched Leo's video on acing life. I thought a little bit about it again and then did some funny shit. Basically, there are a lot of situations in my life in which I'm presented with two options: Do the easy way and back down, or do the crazy way and do something great. I applied this in the beginning to my dating - trying out ridiculous ideas and just looking how far I can go - and because it astounded me how great it worked and how much fun I had, I slowly began implementing it in my day-to-day life. And the results are amazing.

+++ The Challenge to Your Inner Wuss +++

I want this thread to be a collection of little stories that you tell about situations in your life in which you went out of your way. It could be little things, where you had to go through your social fear or it could be big things like jumping out of a plane for what ever reason you would do this. I start with my stories, little and big, and you follow with yours. I'm thrilled to see what you guys are up to. And please note how you felt when you did this so that others and yourself get motivated to do more crazy stuff and grow.

There is no growth in the comfort zone. There is no comfort in the growth zone. (But there is excitement.)

+++ My Stories of Going Out Of My Own Way +++

1. One little thing that I do is my "eye-contact" challenge. Because I wanted to improve my quality eye contact, I made the challenge to hold eye contact with people (man and woman) until they break it. That's cool and fun, but because I'm pretty good at it now and it feels good to do that I added a little extra. When I walk on the street I try to make eye-contact with strangers (man and woman) and hold it until they break it. That shit is creepy sometimes and you'll feel weird. Especially when you sit in a train and you look someone in the eyes for .. too long and just have to hold it. But they'll break it eventually (unless you have a psychopath on the other side) and they'll actually often be submissive to you in a non-verbal way. Result: Doing this, in the beginning it feels weird and creepy but with time it feels actually pretty exciting, people acknowledge that you really listen if you talk and it's a good way to get a conversation going with a complete stranger if you want to.

2. Another little challenge I put up is breaking my very tiny but existent social fear on a micro level. So for example I sat in a course a few days ago and drank a huge coffee. Throughout the course I needed to piss like a fucking horse but I had to go through the whole room, in front of the one who was giving the presentation and the 30 people listing to him. I felt some resistance, then the thought of the challenge came up and I did it. Felt good.

Also, when I am in the train sometimes I look for the most beautiful woman in there and just sit next to her, even if there is enough other space elsewhere. Feels weird in the beginning, exciting after some time.

Another one is chatting to people while you are on the train, standing in lines or wherever you are about stuff that is on your and their mind like: "The train's not coming", xyz. Just having a chat with strangers.

And a third little one I can think of right now is being cocky and funny with random people and especially people you are not supposed to talk cocky to. Like, the other day I was buying coffee at a place and the waitress was out of bank notes. So I commented "You are not going to give me that change in coins, are you?" and smiled a little bit. She giggled, went back and got me some bank notes.

3. As a last example and in my eyes the most crucial one is testing out the boundaries in social interactions - especially in dating. This is why I started this again and the other challenges kind of came up spontaneously because of that one. Now, the principal here is: You can only know where a limit is, when you have gone past it. And I don't want to recommend this as your life motto or some shit, but if you wanna improve your social interactions, at least give it a try. Especially in dating. I've found in dating that most of the so called "boundaries" there are, like you can only kiss a girl when xyz, you could never say this and that - only exist in your head. I started doing this because it was a task in a book I read. But note, when you do this you should be able to rescue yourself out of the situation. So, if you do, prepare. In dating it's basically reframing, dealing with shit tests, etc. I gurantee this will fuck with your emotions deeply and you'll grow like a motherfucker.

One thing I did is I gave a girl - that I had a crush on - a limit until she could write me whether our date we had planned would work for here (because she was travelling and didn't know it at the time). Then, a tiny bit before the limit I wrote her that I cancelled her out of my week planning and that I won't meet with someone that is unreliable. She went nuts. Like in complete drama mode. It pushed on me as fuck, but I re-framed it into sarcasm and she actually asked me out right away after that and we met. That shit was scary, because I had a crush and put her on a pedestal. That released that and I grew.

Another thing I tried and still do is I write my uncensored thoughts to women and see how they react. For example, this one night I took a walk and thought about a date I had. Was a cool one. On the date the woman showed me her feet at some point because she had a operation and we talked about it. A few days later I had the thought "She has good looking feet" and I wrote this to her. Not easy for me, because that is normally one of the thoughts I keep to myself. Wrote it, reframed it, we both had a great time.

I do similar stuff when I talk to people sometimes and test how far I can go. You'll notice it very soon. You can do this in so many contexts, it's amazing. In the beginning, you feel anxious about doing this, especially with women that you really like, but after some time it gets just really exciting and you'll actually get pretty confident doing this.

--

Anyway, this is a little bit of my stories (of the ones I can tell... hehe). What about you? When did you go out of your way and how did you feel? Let us know!

Cheers, Az
 

Edited May 27, 2017 by Azrael

[blacksapp]

I don't have a history like yours, but appreciate your tips...very useful!
Thanks buddie :')

[egoeimai]

4 hours ago, Azrael said:

That shit is creepy sometimes and you'll feel weird. Especially when you sit in a train and you look someone in the eyes for .. too long and just have to hold it. But they'll break it eventually (unless you have a psychopath on the other side) and they'll actually often be submissive to you in a non-verbal way. Result: Doing this, in the beginning it feels weird and creepy but with time it feels actually pretty exciting, people acknowledge that you really listen if you talk and it's a good way to get a conversation going with a complete stranger if you want to.

 

F*ck da shit. My crush ALWAYS DOING DIS TO ME. DUNNO WHAT TO DO HE IS CREEPY UNCOMFORTABLE . 

Someday I thought he was retarded but maybe he is doing this challenge to get out of his comfort zone like for improving and boosting self esteem. When you realize your crush doesn't have self esteem ???? same ?

4 hours ago, Azrael said:

Also, when I am in the train sometimes I look for the most beautiful woman in there and just sit next to her, even if there is enough other space elsewhere. Feels weird in the beginning, exciting after some time

Why. My crush did this 2 me lol

4 hours ago, Azrael said:

Another one is chatting to people while you are on the train, standing in lines or wherever you are about stuff that is on your and their mind like: "The train's not coming", xyz. Just having a chat with strangers.

 

I do this every time looool 

[Azrael]

3 hours ago, egoeimai said:

My crush ALWAYS DOING DIS TO ME. DUNNO WHAT TO DO HE IS CREEPY UNCOMFORTABLE .

Then take the challenge. Keep your frame and go for it.

[Guest username]

@Azrael I resumed a good friendship with a former oneitis as a way of cultivating compassion, even for people who felt threatening to my ego.

 

Trying to express myself authentically and give genuine, non-manipulative compassion was a challenging, especially as I heard she was hooking up with other guys. I practiced mindfulness while we hung out and made note of the erratic body sensations and euphoric feeling I got around her, watched it arise and pass way. It helped me realize that I was just chasing physical sensations coupled with the thought stories I spun around the whole thing, and that I have been even happier than that on my own. It was emotionally difficult but helped me with genuine self-expression and made my compassion more all inclusive.  I furthered my self-knowledge a lot by observing my knee-jerk reactions and thought stories, as well.

It also involved me just sitting through and meditatively accepting all of the cultural baggage and self-image issues associated with what I was doing. I heard thousands of frat boys calling me a cuck inside of my head, but I just sat with the feelings and dissolved them with awareness. My head was spinning for a few days, but it was well worth it.

If I had more conscious of the fact that an energy boost + sensory stimulation+ a story in my mind was what I was suffering over all the time, I'd have healed a lot faster.

In terms of state experiences alone, I've noticed that Strong Determination Sitting has given me more profound/wild experiences than girls have (if only for a few seconds at a time).

Edited May 27, 2017 by username

[electroBeam]

@Azrael Nice love the idea of doing little things everyday to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and being inspiried by others, maybe even using each other's challenges to help us grow.

Didn't you take 5 meo ages ago though? Wouldn't that experience make you feel like the most high self esteem dude on here?

 

My ways of pushing myself out of my comfort zone is a little esoteric and creepy/disturbing I'm guessing. Since I was a kid, I've had this huge fear of not being able to accept everything the way that it is. So I've set it up upon myself to do things that I, and society at large, deems wrong or bad, to a limit.

1. I really judge assholes. I hate people who believe that they are entitled to more privileges than the rest of the population, and who believe that their egos are the most important things on the planet. So What I did a couple of months ago, is went into a queue at McDonalds, and when it was my turn to order, I waited in the line pretending to decide to order something, for about 3 minutes. Then after that, asked the woman if I could get a big mac for 1 dollar cheaper. My brain made me feel like total shit while doing this exercise. It couldn't stop judging me. But after doing it, and seeing what empirically happened, it made me realize how flimsy my judgments are, and how groundless they are. 

2. I always judge guys who can't take a hint while dating, or asking a girl out. So I decided to be that guy for a girl a kind of liked, just to see if my judgments could hold up to scrutiny. Now of course, you do have to be careful of sexual harassment accusations, so you do need to be mindful of when to stop while doing these challenges, but despite that, doing challenges like these really helps you to be able to accept yourself, and your true being to the max. After doing exercises like these, you're able to be yourself freely, because you're ok with being literally anything society can deem you as. You can be an asshole, a dude who can't take a hint, a creep, the black sheep, the weirdo, the boring one, the autistic one, the one everybody hates, and you wont even judge yourself for it, because you are really ok with it after embodying these awful traits yourself, and seeing that all of those traits are just beliefs. I felt disgusting while doing the challenge, but when you see yourself doing it in the real world, you develop a tight appreciation for how god really is accepting your behavior, and the behavior of others, 100% the way. 

[Emerald]

9 hours ago, Azrael said:

In the last couple of weeks and months I'm feeling pretty good. Last year I went through a lot of purging and realizing and I feel like a lot of that is just out of me now. That's great. Because of that I re-viewed my life and looked out for things that are still missing (in my own opinion). So what did I come up with? I got pretty cool friends and we do a lot of nice stuff here in Berlin. I got a job that I love - working as a software engineer, my computer science studies go well, I travel, my spiritual journey goes naturally but I still kind of didn't feel the level of alpha integrity that I shoot for in this life.

+++ Background Information +++

Although I'm humorous, relaxed, cocky and good in conversations I don't have as much experience with girls and dating. That's just something I didn't really put my focus on in my youth and it always kind of slipped through my fingers. So I said, okay let's get that handled. I started looking into dating psychology when I was 15 and my mentor at that time (for business stuff) threw me on the street and had me do cold approaches.

So, I began reading up about personal integrity, the alpha-male, being a man, spoke to a good friend of mine who is a very successful mentalist and former pick-up-artist and read a very good book on the topic and watched videos. On the practical side I started dating girls, practised and still do to this day. It's fun and I love it. I can see how it adds the missing piece to my integrity -- or at least to the experience that I should make right now.

When I began doing this I re-watched Leo's video on acing life. I thought a little bit about it again and then did some funny shit. Basically, there are a lot of situations in my life in which I'm presented with two options: Do the easy way and back down, or do the crazy way and do something great. I applied this in the beginning to my dating - trying out ridiculous ideas and just looking how far I can go - and because it astounded me how great it worked and how much fun I had, I slowly began implementing it in my day-to-day life. And the results are amazing.

+++ The Challenge to Your Inner Wuss +++

I want this thread to be a collection of little stories that you tell about situations in your life in which you went out of your way. It could be little things, where you had to go through your social fear or it could be big things like jumping out of a plane for what ever reason you would do this. I start with my stories, little and big, and you follow with yours. I'm thrilled to see what you guys are up to. And please note how you felt when you did this so that others and yourself get motivated to do more crazy stuff and grow.

There is no growth in the comfort zone. There is no comfort in the growth zone. (But there is excitement.)

+++ My Stories of Going Out Of My Own Way +++

1. One little thing that I do is my "eye-contact" challenge. Because I wanted to improve my quality eye contact, I made the challenge to hold eye contact with people (man and woman) until they break it. That's cool and fun, but because I'm know pretty good at it now and it feels good to do that I added a little extra. When I walk on the street I try to make eye-contact with strangers (man and woman) and hold it until they break it. That shit is creepy sometimes and you'll feel weird. Especially when you sit in a train and you look someone in the eyes for .. too long and just have to hold it. But they'll break it eventually (unless you have a psychopath on the other side) and they'll actually often be submissive to you in a non-verbal way. Result: Doing this, in the beginning it feels weird and creepy but with time it feels actually pretty exciting, people acknowledge that you really listen if you talk and it's a good way to get a conversation going with a complete stranger if you want to.

2. Another little challenge I put up is breaking my very tiny but existent social fear on a micro level. So for example I sat in a course a few days ago and drank a huge coffee. Throughout the course I needed to piss like a fucking horse but I had to go through the whole room, in front of the one who was giving the presentation and the 30 people listing to him. I felt some resistance, then the thought of the challenge came up and I did it. Felt good.

Also, when I am in the train sometimes I look for the most beautiful woman in there and just sit next to her, even if there is enough other space elsewhere. Feels weird in the beginning, exciting after some time.

Another one is chatting to people while you are on the train, standing in lines or wherever you are about stuff that is on your and their mind like: "The train's not coming", xyz. Just having a chat with strangers.

And a third little one I can think of right now is being cocky and funny with random people and especially people you are not supposed to talk cocky to. Like, the other day I was buying coffee at a place and the waitress was out of bank notes. So I commented "You are not going to give me that change in coins, are you?" and smiled a little bit. She giggled, went back and got me some bank notes.

3. As a last example and in my eyes the most crucial one is testing out the boundaries in social interactions - especially in dating. This is why I started this again and the other challenges kind of came up spontaneously because of that one. Now, the principal here is: You can only know where a limit is, when you have gone past it. And I don't want recommend this as your life motto or some shit, but if you wanna improve your social interactions, at least give it a try. Especially in dating. I've found in dating that most of the so called "boundaries" there are, like you can only kiss a girl when xyz, you could never say this and that - only exist in your head. I started doing this because it was a task in a book I read. But note, when you do this you should be able to rescue yourself out of the situation. So, if you do, prepare. In dating it's basically reframing, dealing with shit tests, etc. I gurantee this will fuck with your emotions deeply and you'll grow like a motherfucker.

One thing I did is I gave a girl - that I had a crush on - a limit until she could write me whether our date we had planned would work for here (because she was travelling and didn't know it at the time). Then, a tiny bit before the limit I wrote her that I cancelled her out of my week planning and that I won't meet with someone that is unreliable. She went nuts. Like in complete drama mode. It pushed on me as fuck, but I re-framed it into sarcasm and she actually asked me out right away after that and we met. That shit was scary, because I had a crush and put her on a pedestal. That released that and I grew.

Another thing I tried and still do is I write my uncensored thoughts to women and see how they react. For example, this one night I took a walk and thought about a date I had. Was a cool one. On the date the woman showed me her feet at some point because she had a operation and we talked about it. A few days later I had the thought "She has good looking feet" and I wrote this to her. Not easy for me, because that is normally one of the thoughts I keep to myself. Wrote it, reframed it, we both had a great time.

I do similar stuff when I talk to people sometimes and test how far I can go. You'll notice it very soon. You can do this in so many contexts, it's amazing. In the beginning, you feel anxious about doing this, especially with women that you really like, but after some time it gets just really exciting and you'll actually get pretty confident doing this.

--

Anyway, this is a little bit of my stories (of the ones I can tell... hehe). What about you? When did you go out of your way and how did you feel? Let us know!

Cheers, Az
 

I tend to be a bit like this myself, in terms of pushing boundaries... either that or I'm the exact opposite. So, I'm either very shy and reserved and care too much what people think. Or I really push the boundaries of normalcy in social interactions with complete confidence. There is no in between.

I went out the other night by myself for the first time in over seven years. It's one thing I miss about my time before I had a family. I used to do everything by myself, and I liked going places at night and being like a fly on the wall and just watching people and interacting with them here and there. I miss my solitude and waywardness sometimes... even though there were some unpleasant aspects of this too.

I went out to a little jazz/cigar bar that I used to go to and had a couple glasses of wine. Up in the loft there, they have a bunch of couches where people just kind of hang out. You can hear the music but it's bit quieter and good for conversations, and has a nice ambiance. And I used to hang out up there and just ask people if they'd play chess with me and spark up conversations. So, I was able to do that again a few nights ago and it felt good.

When I meet someone, I alway make it my goal to establish two things. The first thing is to convey a sense of extreme non-judgment with regard to the person's past and choices and personality (unless I perceive them to be dangerous, which occasionally happens). The second thing is to convey a sense of intense listening without distraction or trying to interject too much. I've noticed that these things are seldom given in most social interactions. So, people crave them desperately, and if I hit these two points I can almost always make a connection.

I met a young man when I went out, and the conversation went deep pretty quickly. He was having some existential issues and relationship issues. It was very similar to the issues I had been having when I was a just a little younger than he is now. He reminded me in many ways of how I used to be. So, I feel like I was able to give him an outlet and some decent insights and advice relative to his situation. Also, I always like meeting new people this way. I hate small talk though and feeling the need to come across in a 'normal' kind of way. It all depends on if I feel like I have to contain my weirdness or not. But if I feel like I have carte blanche to be strange, then my strangeness is one of my greatest assets to making connections with people.

Your holding eye contact thing is exactly the type of stunt that I'd pull if I'm in the right mood to spark up a conversation.

[Azrael]

7 hours ago, electroBeam said:

Didn't you take 5 meo ages ago though? Wouldn't that experience make you feel like the most high self esteem dude on here?

Yeah, it does. As a side effect. However, there are still a lot of habits and even evolutionary fears like being exposed that you need to numb down and that works in my experience only if you've challenged yourself often enough and went through the fear. It's the same with hypnosis. You can hypnotize yourself and get rid of fears, but you'll be really only cured if you go through your fears a few times.

[Azrael]

@Emerald, beautiful story! Thanks for the share. That's a really cool thing you do!

[Guest username]

17 minutes ago, Azrael said:

Yeah, it does. As a side effect. However, there are still a lot of habits and even evolutionary fears like being exposed that you need to numb down and that works in my experience only if you've challenged yourself often enough and went through the fear. It's the same with hypnosis. You can hypnotize yourself and get rid of fears, but you'll be really only cured if you go through your fears a few times.

Would you say doing 5-MeO has facilitated the personal transformation process? As analogy, in RPGs, you can train many skills, but paying for a membership can boost the rate in which you get xp in any/every skill.  From what it sounds like, 5-MeO and awakening experiences help you drop inner resistance and gain xp faster.

Edited May 27, 2017 by username

[Azrael]

1 hour ago, username said:

Would you say doing 5-MeO has facilitated the personal transformation process?

I've found that if you go through your fear on some level it will have implications for your fears that are lower than the fear you went through. In theoretical computer science we call this principal reduction.

So, say if we define a metric f = fear(problem). Now, if you approach 100 beautiful girls on the street that would be something like fear(approaching) = 60 let's say. Now, if you have something like talking confident to your boss it might be fear(talking to boss) = 35. Through the principal of reduction it says fear(approaching) > (reducable) fear(talking to boss).

And that basically means that if you approached these girls you will be able to talk to your boss without much problems. And empirically speaking I have found that for a lot of cases (if not all) that this is true. And so yeah, if we take 5-MeO, it's something like fear(dying with 5-MeO-DMT) = 90. And through that a lot of things will get easier by reduction.

Edited May 27, 2017 by Azrael
frickin' typos

[Guest username]

@Azrael Do you still take 5-MeO at times, or have you quit? Anymore breakthrough doses since your last trip report?

[Azrael]

49 minutes ago, username said:

@Azrael Do you still take 5-MeO at times, or have you quit? Anymore breakthrough doses since your last trip report?

Haven't taken it in a while now. I did have one breakthrough after the "On Being God"-dose with 15mg. But I'm looking forward to doing it in the future. Just right now, I have come to the place where I want to be and I have no will to push it to any other level, so I'm fine. So, we'll see how this goes. But I've purged all the negative reoccurring shit that I fought with until now and I'm so god damn happy that this the case.

Let's see what the future has to offer.

[Guest username]

@Azrael Make sure to post your future trip reports.

[Azrael]

Just now, username said:

@Azrael Make sure to post your future trip reports.

Oh, I will. Apart from 5-MeO I have a few very juicy other topics and methods I've found that I'll post about in the future that are really tasty. Shit, that helped me a lot.

[Guest username]

@Azrael Can't wait to hear about that. 

Since you mentioned you've been approaching women, would you say that consciousness work opens up doors to levels on inner game that wouldn't ordinarily be possible? When I studied things like abundance mentality, non-neediness, internal fulfillment, and freedom from outcome in pick-up I hypothesized that Enlightenment would make that stuff possible on a whole new level. 

Are you finding that to be true, that you see more potential for inner growth/ inner game than you had ever thought possible? I haven't even had any truly deep experiences  or insights yet, but with all the work and purging I've done, I'm just shocked at how much my inner world has changed from just resolving this stuff directly rather than manipulating external circumstances alone.

[Azrael]

9 hours ago, username said:

Since you mentioned you've been approaching women, would you say that consciousness work opens up doors to levels on inner game that wouldn't ordinarily be possible?

I'd say it depends. In the first two years of me doing this spiritual stuff I was probably worse at meeting with people and relationships. Because if you fuck up your whole inner system to get rewired you'll naturally be in a strange state. Ups and downs. Not knowing who you are is not helping you being better in relationships.

However, as soon as you are through that and you are grounded in your new sense of self, it helps, yeah. Because you have way more integrity, you're more relaxed and focused in what you do and you act from a more authentic place.

9 hours ago, username said:

Are you finding that to be true, that you see more potential for inner growth/ inner game than you had ever thought possible?

I never thought before I started all this that one can change in that way so drastically but subtly as well. It's not like you have an awakening and now your thoughts are completely different, you move different and talk different. It's more like the whole mental system works way more fluently with the emotional and physical system, through that most of the tensions go away and through that the thoughts become less fucked up and more integrated and and just fluent.

I have so many crazy thoughts - to this day - and this will hopefully never change. It's just that when I was at a bad place that these crazy thoughts would fuck me up soo deeply because I resisted them subconsciously that I couldn't stand it no more. If I wouldn't have had this long of a pain period, I would never be where I am know. I doubt that I would have even found this stuff at all. Why would I if I had been "normally" miserable.

9 hours ago, username said:

I haven't even had any truly deep experiences  or insights yet, but with all the work and purging I've done, I'm just shocked at how much my inner world has changed from just resolving this stuff directly rather than manipulating external circumstances alone.

Here's one for you. The highest state of insight is not having any ones at all and not wanting to have them. That's why I needed a good month to realize what happened to me. It just strut me some day. I woke up and asked myself why I'm not thinking about this spiritual stuff any more. Why I have no will to do my meditation any more. Why I don't feel bad about my day any more. And then slowly I began to understand what happened to me. It's like the devil slowly went but I didn't saw it because you only notice the devil when he is present. When he is not, it's like he never existed in the first place.

Just follow along and trust your intuition. I always smile when I see how attached people are - especially on here - to get rid of their ego, to do the most far out practices and so rigorously like they are in the army. I smile because I was that way back then also, and I think it's needed to understand at a certain point that awakening will come to you and you will have ZERO influence when it happens and how it happens. ZERO. Meditate as hard as you want, it doesn't work that way.

So the best you can do is to stay committed to your practices and the path but don't think that it is in any kind of relation to how soon your awakening comes or what realizations will come or what not. It's when you trust that it will happen by itself and you just stay committed to the practice because of the practice when it'll get to you.

Cheers, Az

[Guest username]

35 minutes ago, Azrael said:

 

So the best you can do is to stay committed to your practices and the path but don't think that it is in any kind of relation to how soon your awakening comes or what realizations will come or what not. It's when you trust that it will happen by itself and you just stay committed to the practice because of the practice when it'll get to you.

Cheers, Az

Thanks!

[Martin123]

As far as social interactions and pick-up goes, I went from - being socially awkward to - being able to talk to anyone and push my/their comfort zone by bringing up uncomfortable topics, saying random shit whilst keeping myself still amused not relying on their reactions and keeping the conversation flowing - to being extra-anxious, not awkward, I could still behave and control my behaviour, but it all started feeling like I was just pretending and lying at all times, as my ego started to fall apart bit by bit.
After some time that went away, at least the most uncomfortable part of anxiety, and now one of the challenges I face with interactions is to hold my own vibration whilst triggering awkwardness in others, as my energy has shifted a lot into effortlessly triggering in people what is unresolved in them, realizing that it is actually my brilliant beautiful light shinining on their darkness, not their negative reaction to me. Another challenge is awkward pauses. I am very content being silent with a person even when I dont know them very well just holding eye contact. And again the challenging part comes in when that triggers discomfort within them.

 

[Will]

The title got me..

I just want to express on that a bit.. ( this is only my thoughts, I know nothing)

Inner wuus is about not being sure that what you will do is correct..

Youd think it was fear of guessing wrong. well its also because you think you know something too... its a bit of both..

letting go and admitting you know nothing opens up more possibilities and allows solution to come from places youd not expect.. Its about being more in the now , rather than trying to predict the future..

trying to predict the future is kinda pointless.. it always better to invest energy ion accepting things for how they are and doing the best with that..

Its funny cos we always try to reason .. right ,, now how do i optimise this.... wrong!!!!!! 

so if we dont comply with our compulsions and we dont use logic then how do we inform how we actions..

I think we just do the best we can to be aware of our compulsions and aware of our logic,do the best we can to accept we KNOW nothing!! and act as open and spontaneously as possible..??

 

who ffing knows