Handsome But Not Charismatic !

[ArasH]

I'm 22 year old college student and I just can not figure out how to be as charismatic as some people out there who are not that much handsome but have great deal of self-esteem. This has led me into disability in making effective contact with girls and even boys. When I am around guys I feel like they are not interested in hearing me out or maybe they listen for a short time. Moreover, I realized that most of the hottest topics that boys tend to converse about such as politics, football .. are not in the circle of my interest either. There are times that I sit down on the bench on the campus and scream inside my head to people to approach me and talk to me just talk nothing more. It is like I am craving to having a conversation with somebody but not everybody turns out to like me or be friends with me. I am sure it is not the looks but something much more important that I lack and do not know how to acquire. I searched a lot to find groups of people who are aligned with my interests both online and offline but In my country there  are no such groups as online. I feel so lonely and confused as what is truly wrong with me.

Please enlighten me folks !

I truly need it.

Thanks

[Spiral]

I also find "guy topics" boring. Because of this i hang out with girls more, not sure if this is the best solution, but that is how I do it. Although I recognize this not being your problem.

I do know some people who have your problem and in my experience it is because they never go past the small talk.

Conversations look like this: You both greet each other and then you ask and answer questions intill one of you get bored of the conversation. 

Solution: If someone ask you were you are from, don't just say "New York", talk about the neighborhood, what you think about the city, if you were born somewhere else etc. Try express yourself emotionally as well, although try not to make very answer too long, I would not talk for more then 20 seconds. By doing this you'll introduce more topics and open up a little bit, making conversations more interesting.

Best of luck    

Edited May 26, 2017 by Spiral

[ArasH]

@Spiral Hey dude thanks for the insight.But No matter how I tried to be genuine and articulate in my conversations or to be open and specific , I feel like a lot of people simply don't want to do the same. Maybe the problem is with the people. lol. Maybe it is so sad : Every day I spend 2 or 3 hrs walking outside with a melancholy song thinking about me and me only, However soon I realize I am not getting anywhere unless I find the right people and start talking and having fun. Sometimes I get so tired of thinking that I want to shut down my mind. I WONDER IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO FIND THE APPROPRIATE PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THE SHIP AS YOU??

 

4 hours ago, Spiral said:

I also find "guy topics" boring. Because of this i hang out with girls more, not sure if this is the best solution, but that is how I do it. Although I recognize this not being your problem.

I do know some people who have your problem and in my experience it is because they never go past the small talk.

Conversations look like this: You both greet each other and then you ask and answer questions intill one of you get bored of the conversation. 

Solution: If someone ask you were you are from, don't just say "New York", talk about the neighborhood, what you think about the city, if you were born somewhere else etc. Try express yourself emotionally as well, although try not to make very answer too long, I would not talk for more then 20 seconds. By doing this you'll introduce more topics and open up a little bit, making conversations more interesting.

Best of luck    

 

[Azrael]

For starters: https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1439199191/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495805722&sr=8-1&keywords=win+friends