Don't Know What The Hell I Am Doing Anymore

[faith]

I've said in my previous thread that I have had an adequate self-actualizing practice yet I have reached a point where I feel neutral and stuck. My primary dilemma is this:

I don't believe in anything anymore. Nothing here can answer for me "Why I exist?" I am not sure if I am living anymore. At least when I was in a lot of pain, I was feeling something. Now I don't feel anything, or in the very least, I feel things in a subtle way. I am like a robot. Sometimes I feel there is no hope, and I don't know what the hell to do anymore, or what I am suppose to do now. Don't be mistaken, I don't feel hopelessness, it's more of a "There is just nothing out there that will make me realize anything, and my inner self is also static, so WHAT THE HELL, GOD? What kind of a joke is this?"

Do you see where I am getting with this? I am just not sure about anything anymore, and that's my problem. I feel incomplete and stuck, and just want to cry and stand on my knees before God, but I can't even do that!

Some encouraging words would be great. Don't give me some guru high-and-mighty bullshit answer like you know everything. Just give me something that will be something. Please.

[Truth]

I think Leos new video on theory vs practice would do wonders for you. To take from that video I'll say this. Chances are you've just been sitting and taking in all this existential wisdom, mental masturbating, analysis by paralysis, try your best to just drop the nihilistic shit and realize how its making your life shit, your thoughts shit and let it go, and hold that knowledge for another time, because that theory is not helping you at all right now.

[faith]

12 minutes ago, Truth said:

existential wisdom, mental masturbating, analysis by paralysis

This describes my situation perfectly, thank you!

Also, nihilistic thinking in me is strong right now. I wish I could just love and let go, but then again, if only things would come true as easy as saying them....

[Sevi]

 

    ...

...A little bird told me that you've been nihilistic thinking...

 

   ...

 

....And I ate him.

 

 

 

[faith]

@Sevi I love kitty! ^.^

[Sevi]

 

...

 

And I was contemplating the other day in the cool breeze of a morning,

 

... about existence...

...with these little water drops on my side... on this piece of a grass ... with this soft light beam with us...

 

...

 

 

...We didn't get it, but we liked it..

 

 

....

 

 

...And we are sorry for the bird!

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

Edited May 26, 2017 by Sevi

[Sevi]

@faith the kitty, nihilistic thinking itself, love you too.

Myself included

[faith]

2 minutes ago, Sevi said:

@faith the kitty, nihilistic thinking itself, love you too.

Myself included

Please love me for the both of us, until I have the strength to match your love.

[Sevi]

1 minute ago, faith said:

Please love me for the both of us, until I have the strength to match your love.

@faith sure I will. There is no question about that. Till then just let the life happen, it's around for a little while you know I'm sure it knows what the hack it's doing?