My First Ramadan Journal As An Enlighnment Seeker

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25/May/2017 

 

Hi guys  

 

 

What Is Ramadan? 

the ninth month of the Muslim year, during which strict fasting is observed from sunrise to sunset.  

 

I have been fasting in Ramadan for years now since I was very young, but I always did in a traditional way. This year would be the first one where I will force myself to fast in a wise way, for enlightenment of course. 

 

What am I looking for after Ramadan? 

•   Some new insights. Expanding my awareness.  
•   Reading two new books 
•   Becoming a meditation master. 

 

What is the plan? 

 

 

•   8 hours of meditation daily. 1 am to 7 am.  ( More if I can ) 
•   Contemplating, what are values? where do values and ethics come from? 
•  Practicing Mindfulness meditation; See, Feel Label.         
• And of course fasting from sunrise to sunset.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 26, 2017 by Empty

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     26/May/2017  

 

     

 

                                                                                                        1     

 

Of these two thousand I's and we's I wonder, which one am I ? Give ear to my babble, do not lay your hand on my mouth. 

Since I have gone out of control, do not put glass on my path, for if yo do I will stamp and break all that I find. 

Because every moment my heart is confused with your fantasy, if you are joyous I am joyful, if you are sorrowing I am sorrowful. 

You give bitterness that I became bitter, you give grace and I become all grace; with you it is pleasant, O my suger-lipped mirror. 

You are the original_ what person am I, A mirror in your hand; whatever you show, that I become, I am a well-proved mirror. 

You are like the cypress of the meadow, I am like your shadow; since I have become the shadow of the rose, I have pitched my tent beside the rose. 

Every second you I break off a rose, it will become a thorn in my hand; and if I am all thorn, through you i am all rose and jasmine. 

Every moment I drian a bloody beaker of the blood of my heart; every instand I break my own pichter against the saki's door. 

Every second I reach out my hand towards the skirt of an idol, that he may scratch my cheek, that he may rend my shirt.   

 

 

 

 

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                                       27/May/2017

                                                      

                           

                                                                                                2

                                                 There Is Nothing Ahead   

Lovers think they’re looking for each other, but there’s only one search: wandering this world is wondering that, both inside one transparent sky.

In here there is no dogma and no heresy. The miracle of Jesus is himself, not what he said or did about the future.

Forget the future. I’d worship someone who could do that.  

On the way you may want to look back, or not. But if you can say,

There’s nothing ahead, there will be nothing there. Stretch your arms and take hold the cloth of your clothes with both hands.

The cure for pain is in the pain. Good and bad are mixed.

If you don’t have both, you don’t belong with us. When one of us gets lost, is not here, he must be inside us. There’s no place like that anywhere in the world.    

 

My Plans

I was not able to meditate and follow my plan successfully due to some distractions

 

• I did three hours separately.           
• I contemplated the question: what area values for a few mins, and I stopped. 

Edited May 28, 2017 by Empty

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              28/05/2017 

                                 

                                                                            The Basket Of Frech Bread 

If you want to learn theory, talk with theoreticians. That way is oral. When you learn a craft, practice it. That learning comes through the hands. If you want dervishhood, spiritual poverty and emptiness, you must be friends with a teacher. Talking about it, reading books, and doing practices don’t help. Soul receives from soul that knowing. 

The mystery of absence may be living in your pilgrim heart, and yet the knowing of it may not yet be yours. Wait for the illuminated openness, as though your chest were filling with light, as when God said, Did we not expand you? (Qur’an 57:4) 

Don’t look for it outside yourself. You are the source of milk. Don’t milk others! There is a fountain inside you. Don’t walk around with an empty bucket. You have a channel into the ocean, yet you ask for water from a little pool. Beg for the love expansion. Meditate only on THAT. The Qur’an says, And he is with you. (57:4)  

There is a basket of fresh bread on your head, yet you go door to door asking for crusts. Knock on the inner door, no other. Sloshing knee-deep in fresh riverwater, yet you keep asking for other people’s waterbags. Water is everywhere around you, but you see only barriers that keep you from water.

The horse is beneath the rider’s thighs, and still you ask, “Where’s my horse?” Right there,  

 

 

 

  

My Plans  

 I meditated only for 1 hour today. I was not able to follow my journal because of distraction. 

Edited May 29, 2017 by Empty

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        30/05/2017 

 

                                                                           Denial Of Suffering                            

suffering is something we usually do not want to know. We just want to get rid of it.  As soon as there is any inconvenience or annoyance, the tendency of an unawakened human being is to get rid of it or suppress it. One can see why modern society is so caught up in seeking pleasure and delight and what is new, exciting and romantic. We tend to emphasize the beauties and pleasures of youth whilst the ugly side of life- old age, sickness, death, and boredom, despair and depression, are pushed aside. When we find ourselves with something we don't like, we try to to get away from it to something we do not like. If we feel frightened, we try to find safety. This is a perfectly natural thing to do. This is how human being denies their suffering... 

 

 

 

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                 2/05/2017    

 

  Something I  have learnt  

 

Normative expectation: A belief a person holds on how other people should behave. 

Empirical expectation: What I believe people do. 

Personal normative belief: It is what I believe I should do, or what I believe people , in general, should do.     

 

 

  Yesterday, I was able to meditate for 4 hours, but in a separate way. There is a lot going on in my country, marching, protesting, ect. I had an amazing insight about society. I realized that people hardly change. Culture is like a phenomenon that happens in nature.  You can hardly break. In other words, you can hardly change people's mindset. That's what Shams said to Rumi. 

 

"The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain"- Shams 

 

 

 

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   3/05/2017  

 

 

                                                                                 Clear Being 

 

      I honor those who try to rid themselves of lying,

      who empty the self and have only clear being there.

                        

                                                                                Longing        

      Longing is the core of mystery.

      Longing itself brings the cure.

     The only rule is, Suffer the pain.

     Your desire must be disciplined,

     and what you want to happen in time, sacrificed.  

 

 

 

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The Journal is over! 

 

Yesterday, I came back from a 10 day Sufi retreat. It's a spiritual retreat based on: Fasting, Prayers, Meditation (mantra meditation), and all other spiritual stuff. 

 

I had some strong insight.......

Ignorance is a bliss.   

I need to move somewhere else: it becomes very strong after this retreat. 

I waste a lot of time online.