Some People Can't Self-actualize?

[Samuel Garcia]

I got diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago and one of the really bad things about ADHD is that (with me at least) I cannot increase my concentration as I am addicted to thinking. All I do is think all day. But the self-help field say meditation is the way to calm the monkey mind. I meditate one hour a day and last month went to a vipassana retreat yet I can't stop thinking. I am trying to do the concentration practice but yet can't even go 2 minutes without daydreaming. In my experience, a lack of concentration/addiction to daydreaming limits the ability to self-actualize. I struggle to connect with people since I can't just listen and be present, can't focus on work and therefore cannot be productive, can't turn introspect as my focus is all over the place.

Ultimately I cannot connect with Being -- I cannot relate to how Being can feel so good? After doing a fair amount of meditation and even going on a 10 day retreat, I just cannot grasp how Being can be so great. Being just seems really boring not pleasurable! Being-cognition seems like all the pleasure of life would go away. And I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel my brain is stuck where it is and I cannot change. If our prime directive in life is to raise consciousness, I have an inability to do this. As a result of my very low consciousness, I feel very lonely (as I have an inability to face being), depressed, anxious and feel stuck with low self-esteem issues which require awareness to get rid of. And rather than changing myself and doing real growth, I need to change my external circumstances as much as possible to suit me.

I'm don't have such an extreme disorder but I cannot change; of course some people with certain conditions won't be able to self-actualize. There is no point in doing a lot of the spiritual work as it would not be effective. Is it fair to say I  cannot self-actualize since there maybe something medically wrong with me that I cannot change?

Edited May 25, 2017 by Samuel Garcia

[Visitor]

2 hours ago, Samuel Garcia said:

I got diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago and one of the really bad things about ADHD is that (with me at least) I cannot increase my concentration as I am addicted to thinking. All I do is think all day. But the self-help field say meditation is the way to calm the monkey mind. I meditate one hour a day and last month went to a vipassana retreat yet I can't stop thinking. I am trying to do the concentration practice but yet can't even go 2 minutes without daydreaming. In my experience, a lack of concentration/addiction to daydreaming limits the ability to self-actualize. I struggle to connect with people since I can't just listen and be present, can't focus on work and therefore cannot be productive, can't turn introspect as my focus is all over the place.

Ultimately I cannot connect with Being -- I cannot relate to how Being can feel so good? After doing a fair amount of meditation and even going on a 10 day retreat, I just cannot grasp how Being can be so great. Being just seems really boring not pleasurable! Being-cognition seems like all the pleasure of life would go away. And I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel my brain is stuck where it is and I cannot change. If our prime directive in life is to raise consciousness, I have an inability to do this. As a result of my very low consciousness, I feel very lonely (as I have an inability to face being), depressed, anxious and feel stuck with low self-esteem issues which require awareness to get rid of. And rather than changing myself and doing real growth, I need to change my external circumstances as much as possible to suit me.

I'm don't have such an extreme disorder but I cannot change; of course some people with certain conditions won't be able to self-actualize. There is no point in doing a lot of the spiritual work as it would not be effective. Is it fair to say I  cannot self-actualize since there maybe something medically wrong with me that I cannot change?

That is a lot of can'ts. It reminds me of my early days. A mentor noticed the same sort of self-talk in me about something I was struggling with. However, he helped me to realize something about myself by telling me to replace all those can'ts with the word 'won't'.

[Dantas]

@Samuel Garcia 

A lot of people without ADHD can't relate to the joy of being either. And even if you couldn't, try thinking your way into some self-actualization. There's nothing to say that you can't become enlighted other than thinking that you can't, but also there's a lot of growth you could do using thinking.

I couldn't possibly understand what you feel, but hey, have you ever tried to at least organize some of your thoughts with a journal or at least taking it slower with meditation? The key to meditate is to meditate consistently and not for long periods of time when you're beggning.

Do you think you could take it slower? You'd might find the awnser to your question, if anything...

I'd say even 10 minutes of meditation a day with just trying to slow the pace of your breath, as much as you can, for a week, could show you weather it's worth or it isn't.

Edited May 25, 2017 by Dantas

[Leo Gura]

@Samuel Garcia Dude, you just got started. You haven't put in anywhere near enough work into this process to make any kind of conclusions like you're making. I've been doing this for years and I can only connect to being like 1% of the time at best. Being able to connect to being and shutting off your mind is the hardest thing in the world.

You're not putting anywhere near enough effort into this.

If you have a serious case of ADHD, you might want to research and troubleshoot a bunch of physical solutions: proper diet, proper exercise, proper breathing, proper lifestyle, quitting all addictive media, bodywork, energy work, brain training, getting blood work done, checking your vitamin levels, fixing hormonal imbalance, detoxing heavy metals, experimenting with dozens of supplements, yoga, pranayama, Reichian therapy, psychedelics, etc.

There is so MUCH to do! You haven't even done 2% of this stuff.

Unless your mother was an orangutan, it's impossible not to be able to self-actualize.

[Guest username]

@Samuel Garcia The fact that you have enough capacity to make an account here and share your thoughts is evidence enough that you can self-actualize.

You just got started, and it's a good start, but this stuff is hard work and takes a long ass time. Mindfulness actually makes you feel worse when you're just starting serious work. You'll maybe get a little taste of joys of the work here and there, but in the beginning it's mostly just a grind.

 

Mastery for an ordinary skill takes about 10,000 hours of deliberate practice. Self-actualization is like a big meta skill that takes even more. This is a life long journey, my man.

[Extreme Z7]

@Samuel Garcia If you say can't self-actualize, then it will be that way! Out of all the variables that affect your life, what you believe is possible is one of the most significant.

But of course, it's all just beliefs. You can change them on a whim if you're wise enough to see how it will transform your life. And if you do claim that you've changed your beliefs yet your life still hasn't improved, I'm going to claim that you haven't actually changed your beliefs. You still cling to them like they're your little puppy dog pets.
 

8 hours ago, Samuel Garcia said:

Being just seems really boring not pleasurable!

Welcome to the club, buddy. What, did you think it was going to be as pleasurable as watching TV? Logically speaking, if it was, everyone would be meditating because everyone loves TV! But very few people meditate, and it's so rare to find people doing it very seriously. The only explanation is that meditation is a really emotionally difficult and grueling practice.

And think about this seriously, how many people you see who chase pleasure are truly joyful and happy?

Are you truly happy chasing raw pleasure?

Judging by your story, you're not even close.

You have to face the reality that your idea of what you want in life has to change completely. Question everything society has taught you are things you want. Because 99% of what modern mainstream society says human beings want actually causes a lot of trouble and misery.

[PetarKa]

Can you say that you've EXPERIENCED Being? Or have you only experinced THE THOUGHT of it?

How would you know whether it's worth it or not if you've only thought about it / heard about it / imagined it.

Almost every enlightenment teacher says that all words can do is only point to this thing called "Being".

The map is not the territory.