Depression, The Destroyer Of Emotion & Drive

[J]

This is a manifesto of myself and my own insight on depression. To start from the beginning, I became depressed around per say 3 years ago and ever since have lost nearly all sense of emotion. The only time I have felt my emotions is when I  reach points of realization (aka Astounding discoveries about yourself and the world) .  With that came a disappearance of a emotion and several other detrimental traits.  I isolate myself  from society and remain lost in thought.Some, I assume, would think that my world view is some nihilistic hell hole but in reality that is false. I do feel as if I have a purpose and feel everyday more connected with the world. My fight is for  reawakening my emotion/finding out why I give up so easily or never try in the first place. I know of my potential but feels as if it was locked away within a cage and the key ceased to exist.

I know from an outside perspective these are ramblings... But I felt as if I needed to do this for some sense of the better good of myself which I know is still there and has always been.

Anyways, Just Have a Good Day

 

 

[Midlife Crisis]

Well it's good that you still feel your sense of purpose even if you don't know what it is yet. You can continue to search for it. Maybe you needed a break from society and you are starting to awaken from this depression something. Some people reconnect with emotions through music and some art. Go check out some museum or just go walk through the park every day. But you may just be content with where you are and sticking to yourself if that is how you want to be and some people are like that. But something tells me just by you getting on here and writing you might just hold the key to your cage.

[J]

Thank you for the excellent reply.

From reading  your response I have noticed that my previous writings were in lack of elaboration.

Your last remark I am well aware of on how I may have the key. The  situation is that this key has been buried by all of my thoughts and conceptualizations on our world that it seems to not exist. My bad on the wording there.

To address your thought on how I needed and still possibly need a break from society, I would say that would be a stretch (For me that is.) I've been introverted for the life that I've lived so far. (I have a long road ahead)  Same for my twin which recently had gotten a diagnosis for Asperger. Would I say I have Asperger's syndrome, possibly, but I won't take that as truth without evaluation. Also applying a label such as Asperger's isn't what I'm going to use a scapegoat for all my problems nor a excuse to not act upon personal development. I mention this as my brother has done this in which adds one more negative belief on his collapsing self image.

For my 'purpose', I would say that I've grasped that LARGE idea. My purpose I seek is to further understand existence and explain that information with the world (I value knowledge and philosophy a lot.) I found this out by aligning my ideals to myself with self inquiry and quite long sessions of thought.  

Lastly,  I do want to go out to see more of the world in any manner, Whether its in forms of art or nature I want to see it.

Overall I see from reading I am playing the game of a victim, a loser in the scheme of things.  Your revaluation made me think more and I appreciate that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 16, 2016 by J
Gramatical errors

[xXxXx]

Hey there,

do you think it is possible you are trying to solve an irrational problem with a rational approach? Probably this keeps you attached to the depression? Emotions happen out of the moment, when you overthink you detach yourself from the moment and start to live out feelings of your imagination. A test for Asperger's is another label you can get, but there are people which were relieved to have an answer for their decade long suffering in social relations.

Edited February 19, 2016 by Locooig

[J]

Okay, I understand what you mean by self labeling. Wat I don't know though how to interpret what you mean by solving irrational problems with a rational approach. How do you solve issues that are irrational? Accept them as irrational and silly to worry about?

Anyways, thanks and have a good day.