10-day Enlightenment Retreat

[hinawashi]

I'm back, everyone!

I've been travelling solo for the past 10 days just like Leo suggested. While I wasn't completely cut off from all stimulations, I did spend most of my time meditating in the woods just behind Kasuga Shrine to the east of Nara, only to come down to get some food to eat every now and then. But other than that I'm pretty much surrounded by nature and the deer and birds.

It was an amazing experience. Yes, I've had that hump period where I'm having withdrawal symptoms but after that I felt completely at peace. I was at a complete loss of words by the end of it. If I have to describe it, I'd say it's a feeling of contentment, like I don't have to make myself feel good anymore. I don't have to please my ego anymore. I used to complain about my weaknesses and vulnerabilities but now I appreciate the fact that I have weaknesses. It felt so strange like I'm being turned inside out but in a good way, of course.

Also I'm looking at the world in a completely different way as well. Instead of thinking that everyone else is stupid and unconscious, I'm starting to have this feeling of melancholy mixed with compassion for them. Maybe they deserve pity instead of criticism. For example, when I see people around me going to a party and drinking themselves into a coma, I used to think "they're so dumb, I'd never get myself drunk", but now I look at them and think "wow, that's quite unfortunate and sad".

I don't know if this is how I'm supposed to feel, because it's difinitely my first time doing an enlightenment retreat. If anyone else on this forum can share similar experiences I'd greatly appreciate it.

[Torkys]

Thanks for giving me the motivation to do a retreat! What techniques did you use and how many hours you meditatied per day on average?

[Leo Gura]

@hinawashi Good job!

[Afonso]

@hinawashi I also experienced that shift in judgement thinking, although I didn't do any spiritual retreats. I just meditate, concentrate and self-inquiry daily.

When I was judging others, I kind of went unconscious. Now I realize that all that criticism was nothing more than a revelation of my unconscious. Now, I know it's useless to criticize and I just feel compassionate towards others, knowing that if I had not done the work of raising my consciousness, I would be at the same place.

Leo talks about this in his video Dark Side Of Meditation.

Edited May 27, 2017 by Afonso

[hinawashi]

@Torkys I meditated about 8 to 10 hours daily. I just pretend it's a full-time job and instead of work, I'm taking a vacation and meditate for 10 days while keeping the same schedule as if I'm working 8-hour shifts daily. with a few extra hours before I go down to sleep at the inn. About the technique, I'm not like a monk just sitting there with my eyes closed, but rather walking through the woods and occasionally look down on the town and the shrine from the top of the hill. This gives a sense that I'm alone in this world and that my body and my "ego", so to speak, are merely tools at my disposal and not really part of me. I was just in the moment and throwing away the concepts of the past and the future, and these concepts are also tools that my mind comes up with to aid me in my life, but they're not life itself.

What's really interesting is that I'm unable to fully share my experience with anyone, even on this very forum it's very hard to describe what I went through. But just to add one more point to this whole experience, it feels like the meditation brings this sense of true happiness that I can just tap into anytime I want, instead of chasing after excitement like everyone else, which doesn't last very long no matter how they try to lock in that feeling of excitement. So to me (as of now) meditation is like trading away what can't last for what's everlasting.

I have to give credit to Leo when he brought up the idea in one of his videos because that's probably the only thing that I haven't had the chance to try out until now because of my busy schedule, but I finally had the chance to take a short break from my work and that's the very first thing that came to my mind. @Leo Gura I owe it all to you!