Problems With Me.

[The Monk]

Hey Guys, 

ever since I was 11 years old I used to purchase my crushes gifts. I think I had the belief stamped into my mind that if I buy her a gift then she will like me and we will get into a relationship. Now that I'm 18 years of age I got a new crush and I bought her a gift, but the intention behind it was the same and I know Women aren't attracted to money or gifts they want emotional stimulation. But, there is always this burning urge in myself to buy the girls that are hot gifts, because I still have this belief buried within me.  I'm losing money and getting nothing back, but a thank you before I never see them again. These are just school girls BTW the same age as me.  Also the girls still seem awkward around me, like nothing has changed even after I give the gift that I spent hours working for.

When should I buy girls gifts? Should I just stop completely? My initial plan was stop buying girls gifts unless I was in a relationship with them. Because, I'll otherwise attract dysfunctional girls and needy girls, rather than the ones I would prefer to be in a Relationship with. 

What do you guys suggest? Thanks.

[faith]

I wouldn't buy gifts for girls that you're only freshly dating. A gift is a gesture for someone you care about. When you buy a gift for a total stranger, or someone you just know but not emotionally involved with, I mean, can't you see how that may come off. You're already saying, "I care about you", when you don't even know the person.  It's just really unnecessary. 

The only gift you can give for someone you just met is your attention and a willingness to try things out. Later down the road you may buy something nice and expensive because you love them and you care for them, and you want to show them your appreciation. For example, I bought my girlfriend roller blades, and I had not motives other than saying, "I hope you will enjoy them because I care." I can imagine going on a blind date with a pair of roller blades. I am pretty sure the girl would think I am crazy.  

[AndreiC]

That may be a hard habbit to get rid of completely.

Think you can turn it into a signature move, just buy one unexpensive flower when you get this urge. You may end up being more charming that way.

[SFRL]

You know the problem. So the easy answer is: Just stop giving those gifts. 

Next time you get with a girl that you really like, remember what happened before when you give a gift, and practice some self discipline and don't buy her a gift. 

More practical set yourself a deadline: Don't buy her a gift unless you have been with her for 6 months and she has been a good girl to you. No exceptions so no Holidays either. Maybe her birthday if it so happens to fall in those six months, but buy something small. Like a card and chocolate. Nothing permanent like jewelry or something. 

Some background psychology: I read somewhere that when giving gifts it's often the giver who experience out of the act then the receiver. The receiver will feel good about themselves, while the receiver can experience the gift as a bribe or that they now will owe the giver something. 

Also read up on the book: The 5 love languages. By Gary Chapman. 

He identifies 5 love languages:

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Receiving gifts

Acts of service

Physical touch

As you see receiving/giving gifts is a legit love language. And maybe it's your primary love language. But maybe it's not the love language of the girls you are trying to attract. 

Try to learn and communicate in the other love languages as well. 

 

Edited May 23, 2017 by SFRL

[egoeimai]

7 hours ago, The Monk said:

Hey Guys, 

ever since I was 11 years old I used to purchase my crushes gifts. I think I had the belief stamped into my mind that if I buy her a gift then she will like me and we will get into a relationship. Now that I'm 18 years of age I got a new crush and I bought her a gift, but the intention behind it was the same and I know Women aren't attracted to money or gifts they want emotional stimulation. But, there is always this burning urge in myself to buy the girls that are hot gifts, because I still have this belief buried within me.  I'm losing money and getting nothing back, but a thank you before I never see them again. These are just school girls BTW the same age as me.  Also the girls still seem awkward around me, like nothing has changed even after I give the gift that I spent hours working for.

When should I buy girls gifts? Should I just stop completely? My initial plan was stop buying girls gifts unless I was in a relationship with them. Because, I'll otherwise attract dysfunctional girls and needy girls, rather than the ones I would prefer to be in a Relationship with. 

What do you guys suggest? Thanks.

You are needy thats why you attract rejection.✔

You dislike needy girls,thats what you are.✔

Your daddy told you(age of 11) you should buy gifts to blind some girls. Doesnt work. ✔

You are young,you can try again and again with gifts that doesnt work,but I think 7 years are enough for you. ✔

Love is not for sale✔

Sex is for sale. Do you want sex? You can have it in exchange for money,or you can fool some foolish girl and broke her heart.Everybody does that.✔

You dont know what LOVE is. Clearly you dont want true love,first of all because its unknown to you and its existence,second because you are afraid of it,third because you are too young to know what it is. 

Lesson: Girls are as equally worthy as boys are.They are not for exchange or to be fooled by your gifts.✅

They can sense If you are needy. They can feel If you are needy.And you are. Because gifts and your impatience shows it.Get rid of it,this is not love this is neediness. Its the need to be loved.Its the need that destroys every relationship. Relationships which are based in neediness are not successful.✅

 They like gifts because every one,boy or girl that likes gifts,value gifts. They give meaning to them. It doesnt mean everybody likes gifts. Only the ones that they think they have some kind of importance. Because they like money. But not every individual likes money. You may find a girl that likes you and not your gifts.✅

This is one of the main criteria that robert najemy overemphasizes. PEOPLE SPEND MONEY,ENERGY AND TIME to get what they want (when they need something).Even If you spend all the money of the world,noone guarantees you will take love.

Nuff said.