Headless / Awareness Of Nose, Has Anyone Else Noticed Or Struggled With This?

[BeyondForm]

Awareness of Nose, has anyone else noticed or struggled with this?
 

Hey guys,

After awakening, I began to investigate and become more aware of how certain aspects of my body work, particularly the visual and audible fields. Now this will sounds ridiculous haha, but please hear me out! One thing that has really plagued me for the past year or so now is awareness of my nose in within my field of vision. I’ll give a quick explanation first, followed by why this is troubling me so much.

So when looking ahead, particularly at objects in a closer range of say 1 to 5 metres, I become aware of the shadows of one or both sides of my nose within my field of awareness.

An author on a site named ‘The Headless Way’ talks about the nose and how it relates to headless awareness briefly in this article, where I found the following sketch as a reasonably accurate example of what I’m talking about (http://www.headless.org/experiments/seeing-your-nose.htm).



Below I’ve edited the image again to show an even more accurate example of what I’m experiencing, and a diagram for those who’ve never investigated this before to show how the nervous system overlays the visual fields of the pupils as such, producing the experience of the sides of the nose in such a way.

What’s really bizarre about noticing this is that the physical sensation of the nose clearly does not synchronize with vision of the nose whatsoever.  Obviously our experience of reality is produced metaphysically, thus what is exposed by light in the ‘physical’ and experienced via the eyes is simply that one limited aspect of the nervous system, whilst physical ‘feeling’ is another altogether.

Here’s another diagram to show how the nose is physically felt in awareness (black outline in centre) in relation to how the nose is seen through the eyes.



 It’s strange because when you experience the disassociation between seeing the nose and how it’s actually felt in physical reality, you’re sort of left knowing that you never are actually seeing the nose, you just have these two big phantom shadows of it that appear and disappear in your spacial awareness.  Although the images do exist in experience, it’s also weird because they don’t actually block vision because the eyes still receive the light from all other surrounding objects, but it definitely does feel that way say when trying to read and you have this shadow floating in front of you distracting your attention.  (it doesn't help that I have a reasonably large nose)

And this is the reason this has become an issue for me is because I find it incredibly distracting. Obviously this was never an issue before in my life, and my ability to see is also exactly the same as before (besides now after awakening becoming spatially aware, and experiencing what seems an increase in peripheral vision/awareness). But now it feels like something that I am constantly aware of and distracted by. I guess before I was fully aware of them, being distracted by or seeing them wasn’t even really option; I simply did not know they were there, and my experience was more so of a 'me looking out' past the nose rather than awareness.

The brain actually ‘edits out’ these shadows of the nose, so before becoming fully aware of their existence (and how they aren’t actually attached to my face) I guess I would just freely look around not noticing them or shrugging it off with a thought like ‘just seeing my nose’ if one of them was seen - now I swear it’s like they’re always there right in front of me, haunting me to no end.  This is especially when say reading or on the computer, or when talking to people up close, I find my attention constantly drifting towards the fact that these shadows are there and I notice them and I resist them a lot – to the point where I can feel a lot of tension building in my face, eyes, and around my nose due to the resistance. I’ve actually had nights when trying to watch something on the computer and I end up just having to go to bed because the physical tension from looking at the screen and being distracted by the awareness of my nose right in front of me is too much to handle and too frustrating. There’s really no context or orientation for these damn things because they aren’t even in relation to your face – like in the diagram above, the image you see of the right side of your nose is basically experienced where the left side actually exists, it’s bizarre.

It’s kind of like driving, and you’re able to look around in all directions outside of your car, but you never noticed there was a windscreen there, and then one day you do, except the windscreen is always there attached to your face and you never noticed you were ‘seeing through it’. As far as I can tell it’s one of those scenarios really with no solution. Clearly the ability of my attention/sight is no different to how it was before, and everything I do to try and overcome attention on these shadows is only adding to my resistance towards them. As I discovered you can’t consciously aim to forget about them, if I do try to ‘look away from them’ or ‘see past them’, I’m still reacting in relation to them and I just end up focusing on it as being a problem more and my attention is pulled to it (as opposed to just seeing whatever object without a thought or any attention about the nose shadows at all). It’s a paradox because ‘forgetting about it’ only happens when it’s not a problem and there’s nothing to try and forget about.

I know I’ve probably made this seem like something I’ve blown way out of proportion, but I was almost going to post on actualized.org about this like 8 months ago, but thought I'd wait and just hoped it would go away, and that i wouldn't make an issue of it anymore. I couldn’t believe when I had messaged this awakening teacher on facebook about the problem initially for some help back at that time haha it really is ridiculous. But I just can’t ignore the fact that it’s still bothering me after all this time...

If anyone could shed some light on how I can handle this, or if you’ve had any sort of similar experience, that would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

 

Note – it’s kind of funny because just as I’m about to post this I’ve noticed someone else made a post about ‘the headless way’ about an hour ago. This has pretty much been my main form of contemplation over the years, and how the mind exists within the space of what we ordinarily would call the outer physical world. I guess I just didn't realise it would have the same affect for my nose too

 

 

[egoeimai]

Are you Prabhaker? 

[Prabhaker]

1 minute ago, egoeimai said:

Are you Prabhaker? 

I never start a topic.

[egoeimai]

1 minute ago, Prabhaker said:

I never start a topic.

Then,he is your soul mate! 

Hahahaha

[Pierre]

@BeyondForm Hello, I'm the "someone else"! You're right, this nose thing can be quite an issue...it's one of the first objections people make: "but I can see my nose!" I'd say this fuzzy transparent cloud hanging in the middle of the world really doesn't look like a nose at all. Anyway it's not there when you look up, so it's just part of the outside scenery, and doesn't affect the space here.

I've noticed long ago that I had these kind of flies, or grayish spots dancing on my cornea, and it really made me mad at first. I could only see that, and it spoiled the whole scene, especially when I looked at the sky. Well I got used to them, they don't bother me anymore. I'm sure it will be the same with your "nose"!

[Ramu]

@BeyondForm he just calls it gods nose.  Notice how its huge, and descends to the floor

[Loreena]

20 hours ago, Prabhaker said:

I never start a topic.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.................

 

[Prabhaker]

27 minutes ago, Loreena said:

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.................

I have no questions !

[BeyondForm]

@Prabhaker and at least for me, no answers 

thanks for the replies everyone, I know it really just comes down to my level of resistance and condemnation towards it = how much I am focused on and distracted by it, I have to be able to totally accept it and return from mind to awareness where it is already accepted.  I knew this from the start but I guess at least this forum post was getting that last little 'maybe someone else can help' option out of my mind. It's just easier said than done, this issue has caused me A LOT a suffering and resistance hahaha, it really is hilarious when reading through my description of what I'm going through, I can imagine what everyone thinks when reading it.. there are certainly much greater issues in the world.. Again though, this is just simply what I'm going through, it's a nuisance, so I tried my luck on here

Edited May 23, 2017 by BeyondForm
grammar

[Key Elements]

Ooo la la! Two Osho fans.  Folks, this is gonna get interesting. 

[Prabhaker]

On 5/22/2017 at 4:27 PM, BeyondForm said:

So when looking ahead, particularly at objects in a closer range of say 1 to 5 metres, I become aware of the shadows of one or both sides of my nose within my field of awareness.

If you treat it as a problem, you can never get rid of it. If you start finding its solutions, you will become obsessed. 

The problem is existential, it is related with your being. You might be losing interest in the world. Try to increase your vitality, life energy. Have you tried the Osho Dynamic Meditation ?

[BeyondForm]

Sorry for the late response @Prabhaker I didn't think I was getting more replies!

"If you treat it as a problem, you can never get rid of it. If you start finding its solutions, you will become obsessed. "

What you said is 100% on point, and is exactly what has happened. You're also correct about the problem being existential, it absolutely is. And no I haven't tried his dynamic meditation, I think for where I'm at it's probably a really good idea.

I'm at the stage where basically, I feel like I'm dying in a way. I have realised that every inch of this body and mind, all memory, everything that is experienced through the senses, even inwardly/energetically, it is all completely temporary, as good as gone and lost already, to the extent that nothing feels 'real' in a way now, life literally feels more like the substance of dreams, produced within the reality of the brain, and every moment, every memory, every experience will disappear forever and this is the reality! simultaneously as anything exists it is just as much a reality of it disappearing forever, the two go together. i've seen that consciousness/reality is the prior state, within which a body is born as an experiencing machine for the One and there is no time.

What I find is that as I go along and go deeper, gaining this understanding and expanding outwards from the thoughts/mind, I become very very attached to the theoretical and conceptual understanding of all of this (not that I'm not experiencing it, trust me I'm not pretending), it just feels like I can't fully 100% let go into the reality of it. It feels like if I let go of this intellectual understanding etc. then I really will die, like it's the last thing I have left to define myself by, as a mind that understands reality.

I find myself going in waves, where I reach the rock bottom, the letting go giving up point.. then I turn to spirit more fully after this because there is no where else to go.. then I penetrate my understanding of reality even further, have some far out experiences, but as I go through the 'up' cycle and become more conscious, i simultaneously build up and become attached to my deeper contemplation/understanding, and reach the point where it's like I choose this over fully letting go... and head back into the down cycle of darkness and frustration...

The other day, it felt like the gravitational pull of the mind broke, and my attention was floating freely between objects, I hadn't felt so free from the ego before, but.. I went back again, it was like I couldn't give it up...Now I guess my ego is running out of things to control, and is resorting to very insignificant things to cling to, clinging to itself much more strongly, followed by waves of letting go much more deeply..

I even couldn't believe the other day for example.. I was in deep contemplation/meditation, and as i was finishing up  before getting up to go do something else a real deep question struck me.. And I noted it in my mind as something I wanted to contemplate deeply and really penetrate later that night. Of course, i forgot the question! And it followed me for 3 days, I resisted the fact that this question was gone completely and I had no control over it. Could not remember it for the life of me. I could'nt believe how hard i was clinging to something so insignificant, felt like i was losing a part of me. It felt like a 'recoil' for the fact that I know every thought is already as good as lost now.

Sorry to ramble, I guess this place is a good venting spot for me..

Edited May 26, 2017 by BeyondForm
user tag..

[BeyondForm]

@Key Elements

Osho is a true master haha. Both him and Adi Da Samraj I listen to a lot..

 

[Dodo]

@Ramu is very understanding on this, we had PMs about headlessness long ago. I got a great amount of guidance and reassurance from talking to Ramu.

Edited May 26, 2017 by Dodo

[Ramu]

@Dodo Thank you.

[Dodo]

23 minutes ago, Ramu said:

@Dodo Thank you.

Well ofcourse, brother.  You've helped me accelerate my spiritual practice by learning that I am not the body and the body is a projection of my imagination. But I am nowhere to be found. No one can catch me.

I love you Ramu, thank you, the practice is just so direct, that its instant recognition on an experiential level. It's absolutely beautiful. It is IT.

[Dodo]

In this moment I'm in heaven,

I don't care about the next, because the next moment doesn't exist. There is simply continuity. There is only one actual moment and it's INFINITE SOURCE. 

[Ramu]

@Dodo Thank you so much Dodo, I love you too.  Your comments are very kind.  I've never felt so free and liberated.  My heart goes out to you.

[Ramu]

@Dodo and you ARE Source, always will be.

[Dodo]

I can say things one on one better when nobody else is listening. Secrets are real, they aren't an illusion! Because they happen.  Secrets ARE. But nobody knows about them. I'f you keep them to yourself. AND TRUTH IS, because I AM IT