You Can't Find Yourself

[Setty]

Are you on a path of enlightement? If so maybe you are stuck somewhere where you don't really want to be. Enlightenment is wery tricky. All the information about it lead to no place at all. It is a dead end without any reward whatsoever. So all the self-development you have done to get it is essentially pointless. Sounds depressing? Well it's not and that is the beauty of it. It sounds depressing to the ego and the body because when all this is over they are gone but the good news is you are not any of those things.

But me saying that is quite pointless because you have heard this thousands of times and it will never go to your true nature because your mind catches it and makes something out of it. Your mind is so powerfull it can create absolutely everything about things that are not happening at all. Realize that everything your mind produces is wrong no matter how convincing it is. It is convincing and true only because you lend it the reality it has.

I am one of those people that were trying to get to the truth throught psychedelics but again it leads to nowhere. It just strengthens the minds ability to create stories about reality. That's all it does. It can be beneficial to see that because when you are doing it for the first time it catches your mind off guard and you might see that every story you make about reality is false but as you start doing it as a spiritual practice your clever mind finds a way to make it all about itself especially when you are looking for enlightenment. A few days ago I experienced the "absolute infinity aka god" for myself. It was all clear to me how everything I do is important and it all leads to somewhere. But that is all just interpretation. It's fun to see it for yourself but it isn't stable at all. It colapses immediately because you saw it from a point of an ego and it just can't handle it.

I was lucky because I was so convinced that I am god I tried to implement it to the real world. I believed I was chosen do to some important work around here. You know finally be myself (god) and collect my reward. And as you can guess it didn't last long. I had feeling that I can make others do exacly what they should be doing. I never tried using it with real people but I did it with movies and videos on youtube. And it really felt like I can make them to anything I want because I could. And I mean that in a way that you mind can create something out of nothing and it is real for you. So even nothing was happening the mind interpreted it as my doing.

So yeah, I was watching some movie and I believed I was this character on the screen. I wanted him to survive because I identified myself with him but in the end he died. I did everthing in my power to prevent that but it was impossible task because it wasn't me I dind't even control it. It was just light on the screen but I believed I really fucking died there! When I saw that happening I sat there completely blank and I finally understood.

So yeah you are it. And you have never been not it. These is no need to seek what you are. You are living it.