Got Rejected.

[The Monk]

Hey Guys, I plucked up the courage and looked at online YouTube videos how to ask a girl out, planned it all out and I wasted 3 hours studying girls, and I got rejected. I'm 18 I asked out my high school dream girl and she rejected my date that I proposed on Facebook (this rejection occurred literally 10 minutes ago) she said she didn't have time, because exams are coming up soon. But I ultimately, believe its just because of my image that she rejected me I think. Guys this was the first time I asked out a girl on a date and I got rejected, I'm shaken up and feeling a little sick, as a result of it.

Please help. And provide suggestions.

Edited May 19, 2017 by The Monk
grammar

[faith]

It's okay. The more rejection you learn to tolerate, the more successful in life you will be. You just made a step towards that progress. Try your girl again after exams, and if she says no again, then move on. There are many beautiful dream girls that are waiting to reject you, just as many as there are waiting to accept you. Don't think of it as good or bad, it's all part of the same path. 

[egoeimai]

11 hours ago, The Monk said:

Hey Guys, I plucked up the courage and looked at online YouTube videos how to ask a girl out, planned it all out and I wasted 3 hours studying girls, and I got rejected. I'm 18 I asked out my high school dream girl and she rejected my date that I proposed on Facebook (this rejection occurred literally 10 minutes ago) she said she didn't have time, because exams are coming up soon. But I ultimately, believe its just because of my image that she rejected me I think. Guys this was the first time I asked out a girl on a date and I got rejected, I'm shaken up and feeling a little sick, as a result of it.

Please help. And provide suggestions.

Lol man! You rejected yourself and you know it! 

You expect from other people to like you as you are. You dont respect that she has exams,and she has different needs from yours. Check your inner world! Its there thats an insecurity.

[The Monk]

@egoeimai What do you mean by my inner world and that I have an insecurity I don't feel insecure.

[egoeimai]

14 minutes ago, The Monk said:

@egoeimai What do you mean by my inner world and that I have an insecurity I don't feel insecure.

Check out my topic.

We all have insecurities from childhood.you dont have to hate yourself to be insecure.there are some false mindsets and illusions.check this out.there are a series of videos.

its nicely explained. Also...beware that this need for acceptance from the girl is followed by a mechanism of yours which claims "im not enough,why disnt she accept me? Is my freedom in danger?" Etc.

 

[Shin]

1st problem: You asked online.

2nd problem: You think she rejected you while she gave you a reasonable reason, so your self-esteem must be very low, which is not a state to engage a relationship anyway.

So, next time, take some balls and ask face to face, but you should rather work on your self-esteem and your humor (if you're not funny), because a woman will never stay with a guy with low self esteem with no humor anyway (except maybe a really fat and or ugly girl).

[Azrael]

15 hours ago, The Monk said:

Please help. And provide suggestions.

Dude, did you consider that maybe her exams are coming up and she actually doesn't have the time to meet a new man? Write her this: "Do you think you're gonna make it through the exams? Anyway, if you do text me when you are through then."

Then she'll probably respond: "What if I don't pass?" You answer: "Then we won't meet. I met this other girl once who was bad at school and she ... ah I can't talk about this. Sorry. Good luck."

Or some shit like that. Have a little fun with her. Women try to test you, for good reasons. Read up about dating psychology and then just go out and practice it with as many girls as you want to get better at it.

To give you some perspective. I put the last 4 weeks a lot of emotional drama in a girl I really liked and it didn't work out. Sometimes that happens. But because I see a few other girls on the side and test whether it'll work out with one of them, it's just one that didn't fit. It's not the end of the world, it wasn't useless. I learn so much in every interaction I have with a women and it gives me the possibility to melt into my integrity and get better at attracting them to me. Plus I get to know a lot of interesting people.

So, put some effort into this and have fun. It's a great topic.

[Afonso]

Dude, you asked her on facebook. On fucking facebook.

From what I understand, you have very low Self-Esteem and, really, you're just a starter on this stuff.

Face your fears and start approaching girls that you find cute. Yeah, it will be fucking terrible the first time, but it will get better eventually.

Looks seem a big deal to you because you don't really understand women's psychology. Yeah, it seems that the only problem is your looks...... but women don't look at men the way men look at women. It's a biology thing.

 

BTW, if you really suck and have no social intuition with women, this book can be a hell of a kickstarter:

You still have to invest emotional labour into this... learning math theory won't make you good at math unless you practice... same thing applies!

https://www.amazon.com/Manual-What-Women-Want-Give-ebook/dp/B00FZ6FCXY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1495289706&sr=8-2&keywords=The+Manual

Edited May 20, 2017 by Afonso

[Lynnel]

6 hours ago, Shin said:

1st problem: You asked online.

2nd problem: You think she rejected you while she gave you a reasonable reason, so your self-esteem must be very low, which is not a state to engage a relationship anyway.

While it's not a problem in itself because you can actually make plans by facebook if you are cool to start with in his case by the tonality of the post he would be unable to do that in real life.

And most likely the girl does not like unless the reason is actually valid. Even then I mean she would find some time to hang out with him at least a bit. It's a judgement call which is not in his favour anyway.

The only reason which makes me think he MAY have a shot because we don't know the details is the fact she answered. She would usually not spend time answering if she didn't care at all. But again she may care about the quality of her feelings and just being "nice".

 

@The Monk look into RSD stuff and start fixing your life from the basics. You got a LOOOONG road ahead of you so just start now  
 

[TJ Reeves]

On 5/19/2017 at 1:29 PM, The Monk said:

But I ultimately, believe its just because of my image that she rejected me I think.

I was a member of the varsity football, lacrosse, and track and field teams in high school and college. (http://www.hopkinssports.com/sports/m-lacros/mtt/tj_reeves_836986.html). And during that time, I grinded hard to have the "pussy-slaying" physique that I dreamed of. I also maintained a 4.0 GPA, created my own business, and established a free lifestyle that allowed me to set my own schedule. I thought I was essentially perfect. And yet, I still couldn't get a date because I didn't put myself out there to get rejected. 

I fucking hated rejection. And what drove me to success when I was younger was the misinformed idea that once I made it, women would never reject me again. My pursuit was perfection, and what resulted was a huge mental breakdown from the pressure... and no women. 

I tell you all of this not to brag but you assure you from personal experience that: 

1. A good image and lots of money will at best only buy you time with her to get to know you better, especially if you mess up during the interaction

2. Good looks and money will make a greater percentage of women more receptive to you initially, but personality factors will takeover past the initial meeting. 

3. When you begin to approach many women, you can never prevent rejection 100% of the time. Even when you have almost everything external taken care of. 

If you are not naturally raised from childhood with a secure mindset and an attractive lifestyle, you simply cannot become comfortable with talking to women until you go out and talk to more women... The number one way to get over rejection is to simply get rejected more often.

It wasn't until I stopped relying on my lifestyle to bring people in and I started putting myself out there in a vulnerable manner that I started dating hotter, smarter, more loving women.

For context, I've literally rejected or been rejected by+1200 women only to go out steadily (more than 2 months) with 6. But those 6 have been so worth it that I would talk to another 10,000 if I had to -- I'm talking about total bombshells with brains, personalities, and caring hearts.

There is nothing wrong with rejection. There is something wrong with never getting rejected. 

If you take the path of personal embetterment in relationships seriously over the next year or two, you will recognize how silly it is to get so upset by only one rejection. 

Edited May 21, 2017 by TJ Reeves

[Guest username]

Congratulations on having the courage to ask her. You don't know if it's a rejection yet, so I'd take Azrael's advice on a follow up. 

Attracting women is a skill than can be improved with deliberate practice, just like any other skill. When you're starting, expect very, very high rejection rates. One yes for every 500 rejections is a reasonable expectation. They have a saying in the pick-up community: "The first thousand approaches don't count."

When you have no experience, you don't know how to present yourself in an attractive manner. For context, before I dropped dating for the sake of focusing on enlightenment, I got rejected over 1,000 consecutive times before a girl said yes to me, and she ended up changing her mind and flaking.

I did 1,000 approaches before I could get a cute girl to even consider me. That included taking lessons away from each approach and studying theory for months along side taking action. 

The good news is you can improve your desirability through learning game, but it is a very challenging endeavor. 

Here's a relevant article for you:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjmgfzb2P_TAhVs4IMKHWXMADkQFggnMAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.girlschase.com%2Fcontent%2Fwhy-cold-approach-works-better-anything-else&usg=AFQjCNHXrSsEpWVyQTcoNSMzR5fvmDCVyg&sig2=FC2fP4cvRNTvBOn9LDsxgg

[TJ Reeves]

@username that article is fantastic!

Edited May 21, 2017 by TJ Reeves

[Spiral]

On 2017-05-19 at 10:29 PM, The Monk said:

I wasted 3 hours studying girls

Do not consider learning a waste of time, especially human physiology.  

Edited May 21, 2017 by Spiral

[The Monk]

@Spiral Nah I thought about at, and I came to find that it actually was a investment. But I was just frustrated because I did all of this for her.

[Guest username]

@TJ Reeves If you liked that one, you'll love the GirlsChase website. It's my favorite pick-up/seduction resource along with RSD. Even though I'm setting that aside to pursue enlightenment, I still read the articles quite frequently since it's one of the best places to gain insights on social dynamics and everyday psychology.

It was a pleasant surprise to realize the insane general insights available to those who study seduction. My pet theory is that since sex and seduction tend to not be so much about the facade of more benign interactions, it gives you a window into the underlying psychological and social mechanisms that influence human behavior in general. Pick-up is especially effective at this since guys who are getting constant feedback and measuring themselves on tangible results have to throw out inaccurate mental models instead of falling into the trap of an idealistic, politically correct narrative.

Edited May 21, 2017 by username

[Loreena]

Just yesterday I got rejected by 30 boys....hmmm. I feel so sad...so terrible..I'm licking my wounds...ooohh ooooohhh ffooooo fooo

[egoeimai]

35 minutes ago, Loreena said:

Just yesterday I got rejected by 30 boys....hmmm. I feel so sad...so terrible..I'm licking my wounds...ooohh ooooohhh ffooooo fooo

Loooooool 30 lmaoooo