Porn Addition And Nofap Journey

[Voyager]

Hey!

I just watched "Awareness alone is curative" again and have been thinking about it a lot. I realised that it was awareness that helped me quit smoking. I was always really aware of my coughing whilst in my yoga and meditation practice toward the end of my smoking days. I remember sitting outside my room smoking and looking at this cigarette with full awareness and just had this 'what the fuck am i doing' moment and just stubbed it out and didn't smoke again.  The same thing happened with drinking, one day i just poured out my drink, an rarely touched it after that. Never really had the intention to stop drinking, it was just the awareness of how i felt each morning and how good i felt when i woke up without it. 

I've basically been able to remove most unwanted behaviors from my life using this awareness, but i am struggling with porn and masturbation. I have been on NoFap for around 6 months and have been reasonably successful in reducing the frequency of both. I've had some 2-5 week streaks over the duration. The last week has been one of my worst in a while (though contributed to environmental factors), and I'm questioning if I'm going about this the right way. I am being aware as best I can when my hunger takes over and I'm just off on auto pilot.

I am pondering this question:

(During my NoFap) Will I eventually cure my addiction If I am using awareness to dissolve the craving rather than using awareness during the act? 

Because awareness is really the key here for curing the unwanted behaviors, I feel like this should be a plausible alternative/addition if one can muster the will to resist whilst being aware of the craving until it subsides. At some point if my awareness is not enough to kill the craving, then I proceed to Awareness during the act.

See the thing is that my life goes so much better when I am on NoFap. Despite the occasion tough craving, once It passes, the awareness of how good my life is , it's just ridiculous. I feel like this awareness of the quality of my life alone will eventually curb the cravings. What I am getting at is that I do not want to quit NoFap and just proceed with these behaviors when I feel like it because the quality of my life and health will decline so much. I want to integrate awareness and NoFap simultaneously. 

The one issue I have is that because I am not currently actively having sex porn and masturbation becomes the place holder, because whilst I acknowledge the addiction, it would be far less prevalent if I had a regular sex. The thing is that I'm doing NoFap because I am preparing myself for a relationship/sex as I was having some dick issues (Porn Inducted Erectile Dysfunction) etc.  (Sorry if TMI :D)

Any thoughts appreciated.

Cheers

Edited May 19, 2017 by Voyager

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, Voyager said:

(During my NoFap) Will I eventually cure my addiction If I am using awareness to dissolve the craving rather than using awareness during the act? 

People who try to control themselves have chosen a very foolish way. Control will not happen, but they will become cold. That is the only way a man can control himself — to become frozen so that energy does not arise. People who take the vows of celibacy will not eat much; in fact, they will starve their bodies. If more energy is created in the body, then there will be more sex energy, and then they don’t know what to do with it. So some monks eat only once a day — and then too, not enough. They eat only enough that bodily needs are fulfilled, very minimum needs, so no energy is left. This type of celibacy is not celibacy. When you are flowing with energy and the energy starts transforming itself into awareness then a celibacy, which is beautiful, happens.

1 hour ago, Voyager said:

I feel like this awareness of the quality of my life alone will eventually curb the cravings. 

Meditation is simply the name for life lived with awareness. If you are living twenty-three hours a day without awareness, and only one hour with awareness, then you will never attain to the results.

[Prabhaker]

1 minute ago, Clint Eastwood said:

If someone has a problem with porn addiction, I think it will benefit their energy if they do NOFAP.

It will benefit , but don't expect a transcendence, it can't be a permanent cure. 

[Voyager]

@Prabhaker So what would you do in my position? 

[Prabhaker]

8 minutes ago, Voyager said:

So what would you do in my position? 

I will learn about meditation. Celibacy cannot be taught. Only meditation can be taught. celibacy is the result. As meditation ripens, celibacy comes to fruit by itself. All effort is to be put into meditation.

Someone asked Buddha, ”How shall we meditate?”

Buddha replied, ”Whatsoever you do, do it with awareness; this is meditation. Walking, walk attentively, as if walking is everything; eating, eat with awareness, as if eating is everything; rising, rise with awareness; sitting, sit with awareness; all your actions become conscious, your mind does not travel beyond this moment, it remains in the moment, settles in the moment – this is meditation.” 

4 minutes ago, Clint Eastwood said:

he will find a nice girl

Love transforms, love is curative.